Miscellaneous: Today, I went out for a smoke before dinner. I glanced through...

By fububc - 05/02/2010 15:14 - France

Today, I went out for a smoke before dinner. I glanced through the window only to see my husband take my cooking scissors, cut his toe nails and then put them back in the utensils canister without washing them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 836

You deserved it 6 422

Winter: Snow and Funny News
Snuggle up and laugh with our winter stories, where snow isn't the only thing sliding around! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

Spice

By Anonymous - 07/04/2021 04:00 - United Kingdom

Today, I dropped some food on the floor and picked it back up, took a bite, and quickly realised it had toenail cuttings in it. I never cut my toenails in my dining room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 442

You deserved it 977

By wtf - 30/01/2015 09:00 - United States - Dearborn

Today, I walked into my bedroom to find my boyfriend clipping his toe nails into my pillow case. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 594

You deserved it 2 657

By lizzard0416 - 30/11/2012 03:00 - Canada - Edmonton

Today, I was going to give my baby daughter an empty Pringles tin to play with on the floor. I saw some crumbs at the bottom, so I emptied the can in my mouth before I gave it to her. I crunched hard and spat them out, realizing my boyfriend had just cut his toenails into the can. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 975

You deserved it 9 991

By ewww - 03/12/2009 05:59 - United States

Today, my husband stabbed me with his unusually long, nasty toenails in the leg while he slept. It took 3 stitches to fix it up, my husband and doctor laughed the entire time. He still refuses to cut them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 392

You deserved it 3 876

Eye bleach

By deardaughter - 14/08/2019 06:00 - Australia

Today, I walked into the kitchen to find my father trimming his pubes over the bin with our kitchen scissors. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 802

You deserved it 120

By no no no no no no no no no no no fuck no - 01/09/2013 20:04 - Greece - Athens

Today, I witnessed my husband hocking a loogie into his hand, then throwing it into the trash can and continuing to make our sandwiches. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 299

You deserved it 3 227

By EwwEwwEww - 19/02/2017 03:00 - United States - Portland

Today, I noticed that the floor outside our bathroom was covered in toenail clippings. I asked my husband what had happened. Turns out, he saves time by clipping his nails onto the floor and then sweeping them out into the hall, where they get lodged in the carpet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 862

You deserved it 464

Happy wife, happy life, right?

By tradwife blues - 22/08/2023 15:02 - United States

Today, I was chopping veggies for dinner and accidentally sliced through my thumbnail and into my finger. I wrapped it and finished cooking, despite being in considerable pain. My husband patted my shoulder and said sympathetically, "Don’t worry about the dishes babe. You can just do them tomorrow.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 906

You deserved it 153

By Anonymous - 13/08/2019 02:00 - United Kingdom

Today, I was helping tidy up after my girlfriend's flat warming. I went to put a sharp kitchen knife in the sink while she was washing dishes, and stabbed her in the finger instead. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 133

You deserved it 989

By Avomitmous - 09/02/2014 21:18 - United Kingdom - Bournemouth

Today, less than a week after moving in together, I decided to clean out my husband's messy room. In the process, I found a jar containing what appears to be a toenail collection. I don't think I'll ever regain my appetite. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 729

You deserved it 5 326

darienlake 0

Friday 5 February 2010 19:57

hahaha. you should have gone back in and started a conversation while casually using the scissors to cut your pubic hairs and see what he does

RipIt 0

Friday 5 February 2010 19:58

YDI for smoking! naaah just kidding, that's gross!

Comments

iheart655 0

Friday 5 February 2010 23:07

wow. YDI for smoking.

RushFanatic 0

Friday 5 February 2010 23:13

Wow, really? Wtf is up with all the "YDI for smoking" or "Ewww smoking is gross!" comments?? So what if she smokes? Just because someone does something that may be unhealthy or something that not everyone agrees with doesn't mean she deserves that. And OP, that's nasty. Make your husband wash them lol.

fububc 0

Saturday 6 February 2010 17:36

#87 thnks for the comment, smoking is gross, will have to quit soon I knw it sounds petty, but won't be using those scissors for food prep anymore. they belong to him now.

xriley 0

Friday 5 February 2010 23:17

he's cutting his nails and that's a gd thing if u care about hygine...but the kitchen siccors...that's just nasty...get 1 just for ur nails...and woman ur just as nasty...smoking will lead to yellow if not black nails and teeth...gross...

voveraite 7

Friday 5 February 2010 23:38

Please people, stop hating on smokers! This coming from a convinced NEVER smoker! There are far worse and disgusting habits out there, and far worse smells than cigarettes. Cutting toe-nails... well what about fungus?

ash92_fml 0

Saturday 6 February 2010 7:26

erm no, #84... theres nothing worse than smoking. apart from maybe negrophilia and cannibalism. fungus? how about inhaling tar, rat poison and deadly chemicals, staining your teeth and coughing your lungs up. yeah, its worse. wanker.

PunxsatownyPhil 0

Saturday 6 February 2010 0:14

This is why you smoke.

noboundary 9

Saturday 6 February 2010 0:32

oh that's just wrong!

penguinazul 13

Saturday 6 February 2010 0:33

You know, she may smoke, but at least she's not like the girl from FML #7905644 who pissed herself then sat in it all day. THAT'S disgusting. You people need a life. As for the OP's husband...I quote Ron White when I say, "Things that make you go BLEUGH!" FYL, OP.

heather_bunny 3

Saturday 6 February 2010 0:33

men can be so disgusting. they must be missing the part of their brains that controls common sense/hygiene. of course, women have problems too...lady, smoking kills!