Love: Today, I went out to lunch with a couple of work buddies. Trying...

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By Slayer - 09/10/2011 23:28 - Canada

Today, I went out to lunch with a couple of work buddies. Trying to be suave, I started hitting on our waitress. Not two seconds after saying, "Hey baby," I felt ice water on my balls. The guy next to me had spilled both our water glasses. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 582

You deserved it 35 733

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Same thing different taste

Hi-de-hi

By Droolgirl - 26/05/2009 01:25 - United States

Today, I was at a fancy restaurant. I was drinking some water when I noticed a hot guy eating alone at another table waving at me. I smiled back, but had forgotten to swallow the water so it dribbled out of my mouth all over my shirt. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 258

You deserved it 46 587

Business casual

By Anonymous - 08/04/2013 08:30

Today, I had a lunch meeting with important people from my company. While drinking from my wine glass someone cracked a joke, causing me to snort a fountain of wine all over my lap, splashing the people next to me. The horrified look on my boss's face sitting opposite me said everything. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 266

You deserved it 5 594

By Anonymous - 01/12/2012 00:31 - United States - Rocklin

Today, I was out clubbing, when I saw a pair of very cute girls sitting at the bar, so I went over, hoping to introduce myself. I swung my leg over the stool, and through no fault of my own, sat on my own balls. I quickly got thrown out for "harassing the ladies." FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 190

You deserved it 21 656

Cursed

By Freddie - 25/03/2025 15:00 - United States - Chattanooga

Today, I went on my first date in months. It was going well until the waiter brought our drinks. I went to take a sip of my cocktail, but I misjudged the size of the glass and the stupid paper straw, and spilled it all over myself. The waiter said, “Well, at least it’s not a first date curse,” and I replied, “Oh, it definitely is.” It was, because I doubt I'll be seeing her again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 309

You deserved it 132

Klutz

By Sara - 27/05/2024 09:00 - United Kingdom - Blackpool

Today, I went on a date with someone I really like. Midway through dinner, I felt something stuck in my teeth and, trying to be discreet, attempted to remove it. In the process, I flicked a piece of food across the table and it landed in his drink. He looked at it, then at me, then sighed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 425

You deserved it 155

Maturity level

By Clairebear - 07/05/2024 15:00 - United States

Today, I went on a date with someone I'd met online. Everything was going surprisingly well, until I knocked over my drink, spilling it all over my date's lap. In a panic, I blurted out, "Dude, did you piss yourself?" Needless to say, there will be no second date. FML

I agree, your life sucks 110

You deserved it 806

By Samipearl - 12/11/2010 14:06 - United States

Today, while at a restaurant with my boyfriend, a piece of ice got stuck in my throat. I couldn't get his attention until after it melted because he was busy checking in on foursquare. When he finally noticed my freaking out and I told him what had happened, he laughed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 501

You deserved it 6 410

By Anonymous - 26/11/2009 03:28 - United States

Today, I was feeling confident enough to approach a guy by asking the bartender if I could buy him a refill of whatever he was drinking. He was drinking water. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 900

You deserved it 5 759

By Anonymous - 06/06/2009 02:22 - United States

Today, I was on a double date at a restaurant with two friends of mine and a guy I really liked. Things started getting really quiet so I decided to start talking to make things a little bit less awkward even though I was eating. I ended up spitting a piece of chicken across the table. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 248

You deserved it 45 089

Surprise!

By Anonymous - 21/01/2010 05:30 - United States

Today, I was drinking from a water fountain. I bent over to sip the water and felt a HUGE slap on my ass. Completely confused, I turn around to see some guy with a horrified look on his face. Apparently he thought I was his girlfriend. Then I saw his girlfriend standing behind him, giving me the evil eye. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 749

You deserved it 2 834

chosha_fml 26

Monday 10 October 2011 3:09

YDI for thinking 'hey baby' is suave.

glutgyoogle 6

Monday 10 October 2011 3:03

Well at least you were nice and CHILL

Comments

AhoyCaptian 16

Tuesday 28 April 2015 2:55

YDI. As a waitress and any normal girl "hey baby" is creepy and too forward.

BiGTiMeNeRD 29

Saturday 6 June 2015 20:24

Your balls needed to be cooled down.

hellolaina 18

Sunday 24 July 2016 19:34

No no no no no

RebbeAsh 10

Monday 19 September 2016 13:53

YOU. NEVER. HIT. ON. SOMEONE. WHILE. THEY'RE. AT. WORK. They're obligated to be nice to you to keep said job. they arent interested in you, they're interested in paying the bills. YDI you prick.

Shannon Valerie 5

Friday 2 June 2017 9:56

pro tip: never start with "Hey baby". not only is it lame as hell but disrespectful. Makes you look like a cheesy womanizing douche.

cdaspirit 15

Thursday 19 October 2017 8:41

That’s the universe’s way of telling you to shut the **** up

rubberduck_of_doom 31

Tuesday 19 December 2017 16:58

Serves you right in my opinion. Why do people think it's ok to hit on someone in the service industry? That is her job. She HAS to be nice to you no matter what. Besides, how would you feel if somebody came into your workplace everyday hitting on you? Leave these people alone for christs sake and let them work in peace!