Miscellaneous: Today, I went to a BBQ. The night was going well until I had...

By Anonymous - 07/08/2012 06:16 - United States

Today, I went to a BBQ. The night was going well until I had to wrestle car keys away from my intoxicated mother in front of all my friends. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 577

You deserved it 1 995

Thanksgiving: Turkeys and Skids
Family meals that turn absurd, because Thanksgiving is also about laughing at little disasters. More…

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Same thing different taste

By driverboy - 31/12/2014 08:08 - United States

Today, I had to pick up and drive home a couple of drunk bitches. Unfortunately, one of these drunk bitches was my mother. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 914

You deserved it 4 878

Demon drink

By Aliiveopen - 24/08/2020 07:02 - United States - Wasilla

Today, my mom got blackout drunk and tried to fight me, my stepdad, and my brother, resulting in my stepdad leaving, my brother getting 2 holes from a metal shelf my mom tried to joust him with, and I got bit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 576

You deserved it 112

By FunTimes - 19/08/2019 04:00 - Canada

Today, my mom got drunk and tried to push me off a ladder. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 684

You deserved it 122

By Anonymous - 07/06/2019 20:00

Today, I had to go pick up my mother at 3 in the morning. She had been out drinking and couldn't drive. She parties more than I do. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 455

You deserved it 228

By Miss Spasticator - 26/10/2012 20:49 - United States - Vancouver

Today, I tagged along with some friends to a party in the woods. Halfway into the night, a party-goer's boyfriend got extremely drunk and violent, causing the others to panic and drive away in the two cars we pooled in. My best friend and I had to run all the way back home on foot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 739

You deserved it 4 186

By Chedder - 26/06/2009 23:36 - United States

Today, I tried to keep a drunk girl from driving by holding her keys, but she had a spare set in her purse. She hit me with her car when I was walking home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 63 008

You deserved it 3 506

By Anonymous - 08/10/2011 02:13 - United States

Today, I was at my sister's wedding. Everything was going flawlessly. That is, until our visibly drunk mom started a punch-up over who got to cut the cake first. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 921

You deserved it 2 342

Drunken antics

By DevilsTemptation - 29/08/2019 02:01 - United Kingdom - Dundee

Today, my dad got extremely drunk, so I took away his car keys and left on foot. When I came back, I saw that he had broken down my door. Now my dad is mad at me for not giving him the keys when he was drunk, and I'm door-less. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 777

You deserved it 162

Family values

By Anonymous - 19/09/2009 04:55 - United States

Today, I went back home. My drunk mother was screaming at my drunk step-dad about a fight that happened four years ago. My little sister was looking in the mirror practicing her "orgasm face", while the neighbors were dancing outside, coked out and naked. FML

I agree, your life sucks 86 233

You deserved it 5 382

By justafriend - 28/05/2017 00:00

Today, I went to a bar with a close friend. She got drunk and was feeling sick, so I carried her to my car to take her to her house. Some stranger accused me of drugging her and tackled me with her in my arms. She threw up on me, and he took off running without an apology. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 253

You deserved it 381

StackedDeck 2

Tuesday 7 August 2012 12:04

Better than going to her funeral knowing that you could've made a difference. Be proud that you made the right decision.

andyyroxx 20

Tuesday 7 August 2012 12:06

"Stop it mom, you're embarrassing me..." "Ermahgerd! Cer Keeeeeeeez!"

Comments

goldens_fml 12

Wednesday 8 August 2012 4:51

Awww. What a good offspring you are. She may hate you now but she'll thank you later.

avaloncode 8

Wednesday 8 August 2012 7:09

at least you did the right thing

bimonthly 4

Saturday 11 August 2012 20:18

This is one of those FMLs that if you've lived it you get a dark, sad feeling inside when you read it.

nerdstuck101 8

Wednesday 22 August 2012 3:48

maybe you deserve it for having such a stupid momm

fj19 9

Friday 18 October 2013 1:06

Happens to all of us.

alerra 21

Saturday 2 April 2016 5:20

Did you win?

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The Top

Today my boyfriend of one year dumped me. When I started crying, he said, “Want to know something that will make you hate me so you won’t be so sad?” and then told me he’s been cheating on me with multiple women, the entire time we’ve been dating. He thought that would comfort me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 605

You deserved it 207

Today, a customer came in with a laptop smashed beyond repair. She asked if we could recover her files, but thanks to my idiot boss's new store policy I had to ask her a bunch of questions, including if she had tried "turning it on and off." She stared at me, speechless, like I was a complete moron. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 152

You deserved it 4 406

The Top

Today, my new neighbors moved in. I was assured that it would be a family with two teenagers. The young children playing in the front yard suggested otherwise. This wouldn’t be so bad if I wasn’t autistic, and sensitive to the sounds of screaming kids. FML

I agree, your life sucks 974

You deserved it 342

Today, I was at a party where I ate a bowl of disgusting snacks because I didn't want to drink on an empty stomach. I spent the next twelve hours trying to prevent the world from collapsing into millions of demonic shards, cause apparently that's what a large dose of magic mushrooms does. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 017

You deserved it 36 916

Today, I started my first overnight shift at the penitentiary. This was also the night the offenders decided to riot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 368

You deserved it 231

Today, my baby threw up all over my homework, which I worked really hard on and is due tomorrow. Moral of the story is don’t have a kid when you're in high school. FML

I agree, your life sucks 470

You deserved it 1 181

Today, my teeth are very sensitive and hold a grudge, so since getting a cavity fixed a month ago, I’ve had a good side and a bad side to chew on (or rather: not chew on). Unfortunately, I had to see the dentist again for another cavity, and now what used to be my bad side is now my good side. FML

I agree, your life sucks 708

You deserved it 119

Today, it's been a full week since my last orthodontist appointment and I still can't eat anything besides Slimfast and pudding. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 468

You deserved it 3 267

Same thing different taste

Demon drink

Drunken antics

Family values

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