Sex and Intimacy: Today, I went to get a condom because my boyfriend and I were...

By Noname - 25/02/2009 01:20 - United States

Today, I went to get a condom because my boyfriend and I were going to have sex for the first time. When I opened the drawer, I saw that every single condom had a Jesus pin stabbed through it, and a note on top of the box saying, "Love, mom." FML

I agree, your life sucks 135 974

You deserved it 24 461

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Same thing different taste

Busted

By Stacy - 21/03/2009 00:43 - United States

Today, I went into my older brother's room to get a condom. This happened the other day too when my boyfriend forgot one. So I went in and there was a note that said, "Stop using my condoms. And your boyfriend sounds like a girl when he climaxes." FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 801

You deserved it 121 801

By Mary - 04/12/2011 22:47 - United States

Today, while my boyfriend was packing for his annual hunting trip, I saw him slip a box of condoms into his bag. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 022

You deserved it 4 100

By MenstruallyFrustrated - 23/07/2013 17:18 - United States - Surprise

Today, I was at the store, when I saw my boyfriend in line in front of me. I looked to see what he was purchasing; it was a pack of condoms. When I questioned him, he said that, "They're for us, babe!" We already have an unopened pack at home, and it's my time of the month. FML

I agree, your life sucks 65 014

You deserved it 6 223

Repent!

By Mauro - 22/03/2022 16:00

Today, I told my ultra-Catholic mother that I was hanging out with a girl. While walking out of the flat, I didn't realize that I'd dropped one of my condoms out of my pocket. My mother saw it and ripped it apart, then yelled at me that, "Sex is for having children! You're giving yourselves to Satan!" I'm 20. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 264

You deserved it 337

TMI FML

By eugh - 07/05/2021 14:01 - United States - Midlothian

Today, I discovered the brand of condoms my parents use. It was in the same grocery bag as my food. FML

I agree, your life sucks 778

You deserved it 576

Kinda awkward

By Anonymous - 21/09/2013 01:18 - United States - Tampa

Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex, when his condom came off inside of me. We couldn't get it out, so I had to tell my mom, who didn't know we were sexually active, and then go to the ER. After an unsuccessful visit, we came home only to find the condom in my sheets. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 257

You deserved it 37 892

By Catholicguy - 20/12/2009 08:14 - United States

Today, I was about to propose. I got on my knee in front of my girlfriend and opened the box. My friend thought it would be funny to replace the ring with a condom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 311

You deserved it 4 553

Quickshot

By anon - 31/08/2014 15:14 - United States

Today, while finally about to make love with my long-term boyfriend, he came from putting a condom on. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 408

You deserved it 6 030

By condom_kid - 27/07/2009 14:34 - United States

Today, my father pulled me aside right before heading off to my girlfriend's house. He said "Next time you have sex, don't leave the tied up condom in its wrapper inside your short's pocket, otherwise your mother might find it again as she's folding laundry." FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 415

You deserved it 73 589

To do what?

By Anonymous - 02/04/2022 02:00 - Australia - Shailer Park

Today, I opened my boyfriend's bedside table drawer. There was a condom wrapper in there. We don't use condoms. He claims he didn’t have sex with anybody, he just wanted to put the condom over his hand. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 065

You deserved it 204

Stupoopy 0

Wednesday 25 February 2009 9:13

You should go to your mom in two weeks and be like "MOM I THINK THE CONDOMS I HAD DIDN'T WORK! NOW IM PREGNANT!" and then we'll see who's laughing.

curious_missy 1

Wednesday 25 February 2009 9:19

bill her for the replacement condom! Also write Love, Your Safe Daughter

Comments

marris 0

Sunday 1 March 2009 7:14

I'd say "mom is there anything I'd need to know abotu having sex without condoms. You see I was going to use them but someone ruined them and i didn't have time to run and get any more so we just went without protection"

peaceandlovex3x3 0

Monday 2 March 2009 2:54

i honestly have sent this to everyone its hilariouss

nativebacon 0

Monday 2 March 2009 3:05

If I were the mom, I would have just pasted pictures of Jesus on the condoms...... so it wouldn't ruin them, just give him/her something to think about. lol

abcdefgh_fml 0

Tuesday 3 March 2009 1:30

WOW that sucksss! what a bitch! i would deff tell her that you got pregnant hahaha that would get her back good!

naiveprophet 15

Tuesday 3 March 2009 5:41

hahaha I kind of find that extremely funny, actually. I mean, it sucks. But it's funny.

ohguru 0

Tuesday 3 March 2009 9:58

i think i'm laughing more about the jesus pins. wtf?

kbtoys 2

Tuesday 3 March 2009 12:10

Holy shit, Jesus pins. Priceless. I would have definitely mentioned something about opting for anal/pull out method since she ruined your perfectly good condoms. ;)

ellieFITCH 0

Tuesday 3 March 2009 21:36

Number 10 and 1 are the best.

comradesnarky 0

Tuesday 3 March 2009 21:46

Teenagers are always going to have sex? I'm almost seventeen. I used to be a bit of a ***** and a tease and thought I would have sex in a heartbeat. I have had many opportunities to have sex, in many instances with guys I genuinely wanted. I have been convinced that I am ready for sex; I have planned and agreed to have sex. I have been sure that I am completely in love with my current boyfriend and have been on the verge of having sex when, in a split second beforehand, the conscience I generally ignored reared its head more than it ever had in my entire life. I'm still a virgin. And after three years of those near occasions, I converted to Catholicism. Those are two of the things I'm the most thankful for.