By irishbabycakes - 25/01/2010 10:27 - United States

Today, I went to my step-sister's for family dinner. Her husband was really drunk and openly hit on me in front of most of my family. I nonchalantly ignored his advances. Later, my step-mom said it would not have happened if I didn't dress like a skank. FML
I agree, your life sucks 33 346
You deserved it 5 967

Same thing different taste

Top comments

FistPump 0

Tell your step-mom that maybe it wouldn't happen if her daughter put out.

that's not your fault,maybe his true feelings were coming out;) lol

Comments

It's amazing how we can see evidence of "rape culture" in many of these comments, be them made in humour or not. I am horrified by the responses of victim blaming that is going on here. What a woman wears has no bearing on how they deserved to be treated. Any unwanted sexual advances IS sexual harrassment, and is never your fault. I hope that you don't take what your step-mother says to heart; perhaps she is just putting up a defence because it is easier for her to blame others than acknowledge that this "man" is an embarrassment to her. Be strong!

I disagree. If you walk into a store or restaurant wearing a suit or business clothes, you will get better service (because you will be expected to spend more). Your dress is a huge indicator of how you might behave in certain situations. A woman has the right to dress as skanky as she wants, however she should expect the consequences of these actions. (I withhold judgment on the OP since I do not know what she was wearing) On the other hand, a woman dressing in completely appropriate and/or business-like attire can still be sexually harassed.

I agree to the extent that it is clearly not her fault. But I take issue with your comment that "any unwanted sexual advance is sexual harassment." So if a guy hits on you and you think he's hot, it's not sexual harassment but if you're not attracted to him it is? Good job fail boat.

You missed the point. It's not sexual harassment for a man to come up and ask to buy a woman a drink, of course. But if she politely declines or makes it clear she isn't interested, and he persists, it is harassment. Once is enough and a respectable man should back off. If he thinks she's just playing hard to get and decides to be an asshole then, yeah, it's harassment and rude as hell. In other news, married people should not hit on other people! Why the hell does anyone think this woman deserves it? She could be naked for all I care; he SHOULD NOT be hitting on someone else.

No woman deserves to have the "consequence" of being made to feel humiliated and uncomfortable just because of what she wears. I cannot emphasize this enough. I am trying to argue that this implication is key to this idea of victim blaming that often occurs with sexual harrassment or assault.

I realize that I wasn't clear about sexual harassment. It is a subjective experience more than a definition, and 55 I didn't mean to imply it in that manner. 57 does a better job explaining what I wanted to say. It is a sensitive issue and sometimes the boundaries blur. However, I think it is important for men (and women) to be receptive to the other party's reactions, so that they are not causing pressure or passing a boundary that they shouldn't be crossing. Women, men, transfolk, should receive the treatment and respect they deserve, regardless of what they wear on the outside.

daydreamstar 7
janise 2

Whether she was dressed as a ***** or not is not important. What's important is that he was not only disrespecting the OP but also his wife by coming on to another woman. A grown woman has every right to dress as she pleases just like a grown man does provided it's not indecent such as wearing only your underwear in public. However, a married man has no right to come onto another woman even if she was dressed provocatively.

She was wearing jeans and a hoodie. Clearly, such a "skanky" dress, so inappropriate for a family gathering, huh? Only her hands and face were showing! Not even a taliban should find that skanky. It was an easy guess that she wasn't actually dressing skanky, from the way things were worded anyway, but since people have difficulty thinking clearly, luckily the OP showed up and gave more info. So there. jeans and hoodie. Shocking, no?

on the cool u should have had more respect for sis by covering up the goods!

You must be from a taliban country. She was wearing JEANS AND A HOODIE. The only way she could have covered even more would be if she wore gloves and a sky mask at the table!!

510lobita510 0

that bitch!!!! she was jealous of you

AGGoddess 2

It's his fault he has no self-control. She should be able to dress however she wants.

sourgirl101 28

you should pay someone to act drunk

sourgirl101 28

You should pay some one to act drunk make passes at your mom-in-law

the OP commented and said she was wearing jeans and a hoodie. all of this ***** talk is kinda moot. tell your step-sister to keep her husband on a leash.