Love: Today, I went to Subway with my girlfriend. Just as the time...

By DMitch - 15/05/2011 19:29 - United States

Today, I went to Subway with my girlfriend. Just as the time came for her to pay, she went to the car to grab her purse. She didn't come back. I found a note on the windshield saying, "It's over." FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 882

You deserved it 14 453

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Same thing different taste

Hello, goodbye

By Joey - 07/05/2009 22:39 - United States

Today, my wife of three years asked me to meet her for lunch at Subway. When I arrived, she was standing in the parking lot. She handed me a footlong sub, said "I got you a turkey sandwich" and followed it up with "And I'm leaving you." FML

I agree, your life sucks 96 159

You deserved it 5 244

By Anonymous - 16/10/2011 04:22 - United States

Today, I came home to my empty apartment. My girlfriend had left a note on the floor that said: "Took my stuff and left. Took your stuff and pawned it." FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 873

You deserved it 5 292

One last thing…

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2010 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me. She came over to see me one last time. We hugged for minutes and cried; it was a touching moment. Just after she left, I realized my wallet that I had on the table beside us was gone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 037

You deserved it 4 954

By Anonymous - 13/05/2015 17:20 - Canada - Qu?bec

Today, my girlfriend of 3 years broke up with me by taping a breakup note to my doorstep and ding-dong-ditching me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 950

You deserved it 2 774

By Steven - 14/07/2023 16:00

Today, I went for a drive to clear my head of relationship issues. That night, I got pulled over. Lost the car and my license. I texted my girlfriend, saying I was sorry; she left. Lost her too. FML

I agree, your life sucks 281

You deserved it 899

By Whatswrongwithme? - 03/11/2013 09:57 - United Kingdom

Today, I told my girlfriend I loved her. She left and never came back. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 788

You deserved it 5 723

Carrier pigeon

By Anonymous - 10/03/2022 12:00

Today, I sent my girlfriend a nice "Good morning" text after I woke up. Then I found a paper note stuck to my bedroom door, in which she broke up with me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 020

You deserved it 90

By socialix - 19/04/2015 01:03 - United States - Albuquerque

Today, I poured my heart out to my girlfriend with a serenade. After I finished, she told me she'd come over to tell me she'd found someone else and wanted to break up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 724

You deserved it 3 423

By Anonymous - 19/06/2011 05:01 - United States

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me by putting a Post-it note on my locker that said, "Consider yourself dumped." FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 824

You deserved it 4 683

By gkline09 - 06/08/2009 05:28 - United States

Today, I walked out to my car to see a broken window, a bunch of stuff missing, egg shells, and a note that read "stop banging my boyfriend". I haven't had anyone in over a year. FML

I agree, your life sucks 61 093

You deserved it 3 083

DreaminOfMusic 0

Sunday 15 May 2011 23:59

dude it's subway just pay for it and get over it. $5 footlongs duh!

urdirtyolduncle 15

Monday 16 May 2011 0:14

Maybe it was because you couldn't give her a footlong?

Comments

Pigpen181 3

Monday 16 May 2011 1:49

You should have ordered the Grilled Chicken sub

frankq555 3

Monday 16 May 2011 2:00

and y is UR gf paying for this

michaelm1290 23

Monday 16 May 2011 2:00

I'm sure you tell all your friends how cool you are that you make your girlfriend pay for your meal... grow up Peter Pan

mpclaw 3

Monday 16 May 2011 2:05

talk about a dead end relationship.

emerluvsu 6

Monday 16 May 2011 2:07

wow. how original.

foxracer92 0

Monday 16 May 2011 2:08

I don't feel bad for you at all. Show some class and pay for her meal. Girls hate cheapskates. I don't blame her at all. YDI!

dinosaur522 4

Monday 16 May 2011 2:09

well obviously you need a better taste in restraunts

emerluvsu 6

Monday 16 May 2011 2:10

^^win!

cool517 1

Monday 16 May 2011 2:13

well retard.... a real man would have paid the bill that's what you get for bein a cheap bastard you Azz you deserve it

skadoosh52 0

Monday 16 May 2011 2:14

shudda gave her the other $5 footlong ;)

writergirl23 19

Monday 16 May 2011 2:16

she probably was expecting an expensive Italian restaurant.

sakura10190210 0

Monday 16 May 2011 2:19

time for her to pay... I would've left too

jinglez 4

Monday 16 May 2011 3:29

exactly he should have paid anyway

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The Top

Today, I woke up to a good friend of mine leaving my bed. The very friend I've had a crush on for months, and who knows exactly how I feel about him. Everything was great until he said, "Yeah, about last night… It's just that you were there, and I was weak. See ya." FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 942

You deserved it 7 385

Today, at work at an OB office, I heard a ruckus in the hallway before a very large woman burst into my room and tried to attack my very pregnant patient. Crazy lady is the wife of the pregnant lady’s baby daddy, who is nowhere to be found. I don’t get paid enough for this shit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 498

You deserved it 64

The Top

Today, I was interviewing a cute guy for my journalism class, and he asked to borrow my laptop to check his email quickly. After the interview, I realized that the last thing I had searched for on my browser's Google box was "ingrown pubic hairs," and it was still up there. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 265

You deserved it 36 673

Today, I was sitting in my school's crowded auditorium. When our single, abstinence-only ballsack of a Sex Ed teacher was announced to be stepping down due to being pregnant, I burst into uncontrollable laughter. My reward was aching sides and a week of detention. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 876

You deserved it 7 649

Today, at the pool, I tried to impress the hot lifeguard by doing the perfect dive. Afterward, I realized my shorts were floating through the water. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 695

You deserved it 12 514

Today, I got tons of sympathy (and hugs) from my co-workers after intense sneezing and coughing due to my "seasonal allergies." When I got home, my SO asked if allergies are contagious, because he had them too. He didn't have allergies. We have Covid. And so do most of my co-workers now. I suck! FML

I agree, your life sucks 351

You deserved it 1 067

Today, my boyfriend told me that I don't have a "grippy vagina" after he slipped out for the third time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 436

You deserved it 1 765

Today, I unpacked in my new, non-air conditioned apartment wearing nothing but underwear, a tank top and an apron to stay cool. Later, I realized I'd crossed through the complex to my car and the dumpster many times, and arranged my deck overlooking the parking lot, without ever donning shorts. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 539

You deserved it 42 198

Same thing different taste

Hello, goodbye

One last thing…

Carrier pigeon

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