Miscellaneous: Today, I went to the movies with my friends. All throughout,...

By anonymous - 17/12/2011 02:06 - United States

Today, I went to the movies with my friends. All throughout, some guy kept making weird sounds and breathing deeply. Midway through the movie, he got even louder. Just as I was about to snap, chunks of vomit sprayed over my chair and shoulders. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 036

You deserved it 2 529

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Same thing different taste

By sheyo - 05/03/2009 01:13 - Canada

Today, I went to the movies with some girlfriends. The guy behind us was making these pervy, heavy breathing noises, so we threw some popcorn at him. When the movie finished, we saw him in a wheelchair - with a breathing tube sticking out of his neck. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 506

You deserved it 315 130

By Queasy - 24/01/2010 00:15 - Canada

Today, I found out that sitting in the third row at a 3D movie makes me vomit. Today I also found out that the big burly dude in front of me does not appreciate being vomited on. Now I feel nauseous and have a black eye. Not to mention I missed the last part of the movie. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 252

You deserved it 6 076

Movie theatre fun

By Username - 02/08/2011 04:43 - Australia

Today, I was in a cinema watching a movie to review in the local paper. Suddenly, the guy behind me leans in and starts whispering and hissing, "Do it... Do... It. DO IT" for the rest of the movie. I'm still not sure what he wanted me to do, but he did smell of vomit and had a tea-cosy on his head. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 062

You deserved it 2 749

Scary

By xHoho - 26/11/2013 05:50 - United States - West Fargo

Today, I took my girlfriend to a scary movie, hoping I could comfort her at a scary part. Instead when a scary part came on, she reacted by throwing up all over my lap and the person in front of us. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 325

You deserved it 8 729

By zaynemaliksvagina - 24/06/2015 17:10 - United States - Shrewsbury

Today, I was having a rough day, so I decided to go to the movies to unwind. 15 minutes in, some assmunch behind me said "This movie sucks!" then dumped his drink over my head and ran out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 423

You deserved it 1 891

By Whyme - 09/01/2012 06:14 - United States

Today, I went to the movies on a date. My chair made a fart sound while I moved around a little, so my date thought I'd let one rip. He then let out a really horrendously smelling one to make me feel less embarrassed, giving me a reassuring look. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 290

You deserved it 6 510

Let's slip out of here

By Anonymous - 07/04/2009 02:11 - United States

Today, my friends and I saw a movie. We sat in the balcony. Halfway during the movie we heard a commotion, thinking it was a group of unruly teenagers like us, we began to pelt the lower half of the theater with candy. We later learned that it was a man having a heart attack. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 925

You deserved it 100 383

Dude, STFU!

By Cyberdeeder - 13/10/2008 08:19

Today, at the cinema, I sat next to a guy who couldn’t stand a minute without laughing or making comments about the film. FML

I agree, your life sucks 75 132

You deserved it 20 269

By Anonymous - 27/09/2010 11:45 - United States

Today, I went on a first date to the movies. During the flick, I choked on a piece of popcorn. I took a gulp of soda and that got stuck as well. I finally got my breath back and let out the loudest burp I ever have. He looked at me and said, "Does this mean I can fart now?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 619

You deserved it 30 231

By escortedout - 23/10/2010 23:14 - United States

Today, I was at a movie theater. I heard some obnoxious people talking in front of me. After about 5 minutes, I began throwing popcorn at a group of suspected people. As I was escorted out, I realized that the obnoxious people were in the background of the movie. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 128

You deserved it 47 376

RainbowHeadache 2

Saturday 17 December 2011 6:28

& then you snapped right? Because I would be so livid.

ceilingfans 1

Saturday 17 December 2011 6:31

Are you sure it was vomit? He could have been furiously masterbating.

Comments

every1luvsboners 11

Saturday 17 December 2011 6:33

That's the new 4-D movie. The fourth dimension is projectile popcorn vomit hurled at you.

upyourzlolz 11

Saturday 17 December 2011 6:41

Actually it was 5-D. The fifth dimension is the interaction between that man and the epic fight that follows.

fmlikecrazy 0

Saturday 17 December 2011 6:35

Poor guy. Imagine being nauseas that long. He probably should have left though.

LadiDi_fml 10

Saturday 17 December 2011 6:45

Yeah he could have go to bathroom or leave if he wasn't feeling well...

jaredjudd21 2

Saturday 17 December 2011 6:56

It was probably such a great movie he didn't want to leave!

ohSNAPyall 26

Saturday 17 December 2011 18:24

He probably should have left. Then again, he possibly should have stayed to spew on the person in front of him.

twofirstnames 12

Saturday 17 December 2011 6:35

Eww, but hope you still enjoyed the movie(: but FYL that's horrid

Cheerieful_fml 2

Saturday 17 December 2011 7:42

Yeah because she's gonna finish watching the movie with acidic upchuck on her back.

tennisrapper1 14

Saturday 17 December 2011 6:36

Before I read the end of this fml, I thought that he was like, jacking off behind her or something... Lol

s1ckpup 0

Saturday 17 December 2011 6:45

Would you rather have his vomit on you or his semen on you? o_O

SugarBabyAngel 5

Saturday 17 December 2011 6:47

Ask for a refund on ur money xD

saxplayer9291 3

Saturday 17 December 2011 6:49

That's a fear of mine. That's why I al

deviable 9

Saturday 17 December 2011 8:18

ways finish your sentences?

Mr_Sharkings 5

Saturday 17 December 2011 6:49

oop yeah that was me sorry about that

ty1992_farmlife 12

Saturday 17 December 2011 6:50

Lol popcorn and coke.. that'll smell really bad

WCARlover 34

Saturday 17 December 2011 6:52

And this was the beginning of s beautiful friendship:)

WCARlover 34

Saturday 17 December 2011 7:19

A* :p

StoryOfTheYear 14

Saturday 17 December 2011 8:55

There you go. :D

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The Top

Today, after finally getting up the confidence, I started talking really dirty to my boyfriend on the phone. I was getting really onto it, and he seemed to enjoy it too. Then I stopped for a second to gauge his reaction. He was snoring. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 873

You deserved it 4 683

Today, my wife dragged me to the bathroom, promising to "show something hot." Not that I was in the mood, but okay. She took off her pants, sat on a toilet, and demanded that I tell her about my day. She wanted me to entertain her while she was taking a dump. FML

I agree, your life sucks 510

You deserved it 84

The Top

Today, a man punched me for sleeping with his wife. Bewildered, I insisted I would never sleep with a married woman, to which he retorted, "She wasn't my wife when it HAPPENED, dumbass!" I was assaulted for sleeping with my own girlfriend three years ago. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 327

You deserved it 4 110

Today, I got overwhelmed at a family reunion, so I did an Irish exit. There were only about 15 people there, but it wasn't until at least an hour after I got home that people realized I wasn't there anymore. Shows how much I matter to them, I guess. FML

I agree, your life sucks 165

You deserved it 470

Today, I asked my college chemistry teacher for some much-needed help. Instead of explaining anything to me, she scoffed that if I don't understand something, I should "just Google it." FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 040

You deserved it 2 015

Today, I went out on a date with a cute girl. Everything was going great, until the food arrived. She not only shoveled food into her mouth like it was going to run away, she also smacked, sucked her fingers and laughed out loud with her mouth completely full. It was like dining with a 5-year-old. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 122

You deserved it 194

Today, after sex, my boyfriend and I lay in bed for a couple of hours just chatting. This would have been lovely. However, his topic of choice for post-coital pillow talk was his theory about how Chewbacca is secretly the leader of the Rebel Alliance. It actually made sense. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 232

You deserved it 7 701

Today, I recently started taking some antidepressants and they have been working really well for me, except for the fact that they have made me crap my pants twice now. Both times in public. FML

I agree, your life sucks 966

You deserved it 83