Work: Today, I went to work to find two new beautiful trainees. I thought...

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By SadisticSatire - 11/10/2009 01:04 - United States

Today, I went to work to find two new beautiful trainees. I thought maybe I might be able to hook up with one of them, so I walk up and flash my blue eyes and begin to act like a gentleman. Not five minutes into our conversation the girls ask me if there are any cute guys working here. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 325

You deserved it 39 922

Mother's Day: Sweets and Bummers
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Same thing different taste

Thanks, I really appreciate it!

By Anonymous - 19/06/2009 16:39 - United States

Today, I was walking to work and saw three guys sitting at a table outside. One of the guys looks at me and says to his friends, "That's the girl that works at the grocery store. She replaced the hot chick." The other two guys glared at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 968

You deserved it 3 545

By jeezy - 23/02/2009 10:35 - Canada

Today, I was working my shift and my ex girlfriend came in to apply for a job. She broke up with me for another guy so i can't stand being in the same room as her. The manager talked to her and decided to hire her on the spot. I need to train her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 61 371

You deserved it 3 295

By milkymoo - 30/05/2011 01:45 - Cyprus

Today, I was catching the bus to my new job. While waiting at the lights, I decided to play the staring game and ended up staring at a woman in the car next to the bus for ages, really creeping her out. It turns out she's my new boss. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 623

You deserved it 49 935

Pleased to meet you

By footinmouth - 13/09/2009 05:14 - United States

Today, I went to a restaurant with some friends. I noticed a very cute waitress about my age, so I walked over to her and asked if she had a boyfriend. The extremely fit, attractive waiter standing next to her immediately turned, held out his hand and goes, "Yeah. Meet me." FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 014

You deserved it 14 109

By imsadnow - 31/01/2011 20:01 - United States

Today, I was having a bad day at work. Then, on my coffee break, a little boy walked up to me and told me I was the prettiest girl he'd ever seen. I'm a guy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 149

You deserved it 7 297

By fmylifebad - 29/04/2009 10:12 - United States

Today, I was on the subway and saw this cute guy eyeing me. I crossed my legs, tossed back my hair, and raised my eyebrows slightly. As he came up to me, my heart started racing until he finally started flirting... with the girl next to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 151

You deserved it 12 200

By fatty - 14/08/2014 03:46 - United States - Madison

Today, I was chatting with the cute new receptionist at the gym. I told her that I would be going there more if she was there. She looked me up and down and said that I should go regardless. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 371

You deserved it 15 878

Thanks Susan

By Noname - 24/02/2009 23:00 - United States

Today, I got up early and really put some extra effort into my appearance to catch the eye of a cute guy at work. I walked in and the woman who sits at the desk beside me looks over and says, "Wow, are you sick? You're not looking too good." FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 301

You deserved it 4 933

By Spudzy - 11/04/2012 16:46 - Australia - Gold Coast

Today, I tried hitting on the new receptionist at work. After a few flirtatious comments and subtly hinting that I thought she was bangable, she informed me that she's married to our boss. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 445

You deserved it 44 973

Thanks!

By Tyler - 19/11/2011 07:58 - United States

Today, at my job as a cocktail server in a bar, a group of good looking ladies sat in my section. As I was finishing up with the table next to them I overheard one of them saying, "I hope we don't get that guy, I want a sexy waiter tonight." FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 806

You deserved it 3 085

poeticvibez07 0

Sunday 11 October 2009 9:17

that's what you get for being so damn cocky

plethora 3

Sunday 11 October 2009 9:19

You flashed your eyes? Can you teach me how to do that? Be handy for finding friends in dark pubs - "Just look for the flashing eyes".

Comments

idloai 0

Thursday 29 July 2010 23:26

she probably thought you were gay haha

glorialaura21 8

Friday 24 September 2010 14:58

lol maybe they thought you were gay!

simoneog09 0

Monday 25 October 2010 2:13

that's what you get for having the wrong intentions.

stephyhull 4

Thursday 28 October 2010 11:16

wow, creepy. :)

Country29 16

Thursday 17 February 2011 1:30

blue eyes are nice and all... but i really like the dark green eyes... but yeah they probably thought he was gay haha.

AnnyPants22 0

Saturday 19 March 2011 22:51

I really thought it said "beautiful trannies." ha. That would've been bettter.

rachelpfitzner 3

Monday 30 May 2011 18:07

sleaze

danceparty8 0

Saturday 16 July 2011 7:18

well this is just a guess but I'm saying your not cute at all!!

jewelsfml 0

Tuesday 13 September 2011 23:22

maybe you should just hire them for their ability and not looks. pig!

sweetheartslim 0

Saturday 15 October 2011 19:02

They thought you were too hentlemanly

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Today, after not hearing from my "bestie" for over a month, I realized she completely ghosts me when she finds a boyfriend, only calling me when they break up so she can complain, and hangs up before hearing a single word about my life. I have such low self-esteem, I don't even fight it. Who needs enemies? FML

I agree, your life sucks 923

You deserved it 280

Today, I saw an elderly man fall in a crosswalk, so I jumped off my bike to help. As I helped him across, the light turned green. I then watched across a 6 lane street as someone stole my bike. FML

I agree, your life sucks 864 837

You deserved it 95 018

The Top

Today, I got slut-shamed by a guy in a 7-Eleven for having a face tattoo. A.) It's a birthmark; B.) I'm 15 and look it; C.) This happens a lot, and D.) I was wearing a full body winter coat and all he could see was my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 104

You deserved it 125

Today, I was having a nice moment with my granddaughter as she was being affectionate by stroking my face. We were both quite content, until she said, "Aw, Grandma, your skin feels just like a crocodile." FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 968

You deserved it 3 482

Today, I got news that I had "delighted a customer" so I looked at the review online. It says, "The fat girl up front was nice." FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 531

You deserved it 475

Today, I told my husband that I didn't feel like he loved me. He looked away and replied, "Fair enough". FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 048

You deserved it 5 501

Today, my brother-in-law is a complete toxic asshole who makes me have panic attacks. He nitpicks my house non-stop and always puts me down. I'm a normal, good person, but all I want now is for him to suffer greatly in life for all the horrible things he has said to me and about me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 438

You deserved it 139

Today, after much thought and serious consideration, I nervously admitted to my boyfriend that I'm bisexual. The first thing that he said in response was: "Want a threesome?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 575

You deserved it 40 981