Work: Today, I went to work to find two new beautiful trainees. I thought...

FML for mobile
Free

By SadisticSatire - 11/10/2009 01:04 - United States

Today, I went to work to find two new beautiful trainees. I thought maybe I might be able to hook up with one of them, so I walk up and flash my blue eyes and begin to act like a gentleman. Not five minutes into our conversation the girls ask me if there are any cute guys working here. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 325

You deserved it 39 922

May weddings: Love and blunders
Weddings are supposed to be perfect, but our stories show that perfection can sometimes be... surprising! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

Thanks, I really appreciate it!

By Anonymous - 19/06/2009 16:39 - United States

Today, I was walking to work and saw three guys sitting at a table outside. One of the guys looks at me and says to his friends, "That's the girl that works at the grocery store. She replaced the hot chick." The other two guys glared at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 968

You deserved it 3 545

By jeezy - 23/02/2009 10:35 - Canada

Today, I was working my shift and my ex girlfriend came in to apply for a job. She broke up with me for another guy so i can't stand being in the same room as her. The manager talked to her and decided to hire her on the spot. I need to train her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 61 371

You deserved it 3 295

By milkymoo - 30/05/2011 01:45 - Cyprus

Today, I was catching the bus to my new job. While waiting at the lights, I decided to play the staring game and ended up staring at a woman in the car next to the bus for ages, really creeping her out. It turns out she's my new boss. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 623

You deserved it 49 935

Pleased to meet you

By footinmouth - 13/09/2009 05:14 - United States

Today, I went to a restaurant with some friends. I noticed a very cute waitress about my age, so I walked over to her and asked if she had a boyfriend. The extremely fit, attractive waiter standing next to her immediately turned, held out his hand and goes, "Yeah. Meet me." FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 014

You deserved it 14 109

By imsadnow - 31/01/2011 20:01 - United States

Today, I was having a bad day at work. Then, on my coffee break, a little boy walked up to me and told me I was the prettiest girl he'd ever seen. I'm a guy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 149

You deserved it 7 297

By fmylifebad - 29/04/2009 10:12 - United States

Today, I was on the subway and saw this cute guy eyeing me. I crossed my legs, tossed back my hair, and raised my eyebrows slightly. As he came up to me, my heart started racing until he finally started flirting... with the girl next to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 151

You deserved it 12 200

By fatty - 14/08/2014 03:46 - United States - Madison

Today, I was chatting with the cute new receptionist at the gym. I told her that I would be going there more if she was there. She looked me up and down and said that I should go regardless. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 371

You deserved it 15 878

Thanks Susan

By Noname - 24/02/2009 23:00 - United States

Today, I got up early and really put some extra effort into my appearance to catch the eye of a cute guy at work. I walked in and the woman who sits at the desk beside me looks over and says, "Wow, are you sick? You're not looking too good." FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 301

You deserved it 4 933

By Spudzy - 11/04/2012 16:46 - Australia - Gold Coast

Today, I tried hitting on the new receptionist at work. After a few flirtatious comments and subtly hinting that I thought she was bangable, she informed me that she's married to our boss. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 445

You deserved it 44 973

Thanks!

By Tyler - 19/11/2011 07:58 - United States

Today, at my job as a cocktail server in a bar, a group of good looking ladies sat in my section. As I was finishing up with the table next to them I overheard one of them saying, "I hope we don't get that guy, I want a sexy waiter tonight." FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 806

You deserved it 3 085

poeticvibez07 0

Sunday 11 October 2009 9:17

that's what you get for being so damn cocky

plethora 3

Sunday 11 October 2009 9:19

You flashed your eyes? Can you teach me how to do that? Be handy for finding friends in dark pubs - "Just look for the flashing eyes".

Comments

SpeakOutLoud 1

Friday 16 March 2012 3:49

Prob thought you were gay

newmandotcom 6

Wednesday 11 April 2012 5:34

YDI for thinking blue eyes would do it. Girls want brown mysterious and mocha.

alexnoyle 12

Thursday 5 July 2012 20:19

Tell them "yea there's one right here"

Momo_Moonlight 25

Wednesday 6 February 2013 13:08

YDI! You wanna hook up? Go to a brothel, not the office.

mackischillin 5

Saturday 9 February 2013 6:06

You sound like a douche bag, "I flashed my blue eyes" I mean what the **** is that?!

Elizabeth_Scholt 18

Sunday 28 April 2013 8:16

You're one of those major assholes, aren't you?

misszombiexx 10

Friday 19 July 2013 0:57

They probably saw through your little act is my guess.

lucasj23 11

Tuesday 20 March 2018 14:19

you sound like such a tool. ydi

FML on Facebook

Keywords

Health Healthy Lifestyle Embarrassing Periods Work Birthday Allergies Neighbours Miscellaneous Noise Weekend Sex Intimacy Gross Roommate Insects Annoying Love Crush #FAFO Money I need your advice Depression AITA Parenting Kids Weird Awkward Friends Shopping

The Top

Today, I was talking to an old man I met at a store. He just wanted to know a few things, and he asked about my day. I explained a few bad things that'd happened, then I thanked him for listening. He then asked, "So, how are we gonna do this?" He thought we were gonna fuck. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 949

You deserved it 3 363

Today, my girlfriend asked what my sexual fantasy was, and I said Catwoman. She got disgusted at me, because according to her, Catwoman is 15 years-old or something. Turns out she has only seen Gotham, featuring Catgirl as a teenager, and not the grown-up Halle Berry version I was talking about. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 676

You deserved it 235

The Top

Today, it's my first day on dating apps in a long time. I have a prominent facial scar from a car accident that happened a long time ago. All the girls that contact me want to hear stories of dangerous behavior and jealous exes. I'm a small town high school math teacher. FML

I agree, your life sucks 959

You deserved it 118

Today, my parents and I were looking for something using the TV's search bar. Despite never, ever watching anything resembling porn, one of the default search options was, "Hot female Asian sex videos." Thank God they have an excellent sense of humor, as they laughed their heads off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 335

You deserved it 97

Today, I was in the shower, when I heard my daughter scream and shout, "Mommy, mommy! Help! Come quick!" I panicked and rushed downstairs without even looking for a towel to cover myself, all so I could find out she'd just gotten a piece of dirt on her shoe. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 772

You deserved it 2 904

Today, I'm finally visiting my long-distance boyfriend in his home country. He has a vomit-inducing migraine, and the traditional food he fed me triggered the worst kidney attack I've had in years. We're both lying on the couch writhing in pain. Yay, quality time together. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 618

You deserved it 152

Today, my cat is extremely sick and has trouble grooming himself. As evidenced by his butt. He laid on me for a while and it wasn't until a few minutes after he got off that I realized he had stained my pants. That also explains why my chair suddenly looks so nasty, and why my room smells horrible. FML

I agree, your life sucks 548

You deserved it 257

Today, my mom tagged me in a picture on Facebook. It's a very zoomed in picture of a zit that had just recently erupted on my face. The caption is "My baby's biggest zit yet!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 861

You deserved it 2 739