Intimacy: Today, I went to write "Happy Bday, I Love You" on my girlfriend's...

By anonymous - 24/06/2009 06:13 - United States

Today, I went to write "Happy Bday, I Love You" on my girlfriend's car windows to surprise her when she woke up. I was the one who got the surprise when I saw her, in her backseat, having sex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 80 915

You deserved it 3 733

Carnival of Disasters
Dive into carnival, where hilarious costumes meet unexpected mishaps. Laughter is guaranteed, mask or no mask! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

Happy?

By SURPRISE - 10/06/2009 00:13 - Canada

Today, it was my girlfriend's birthday. To surprise her, I told her that I was going away on business, and could not be there on her birthday. When I show up at her house to surprise her with a present and cake, she opens the door in her underwear, beside a man in his boxers. She was surprised. FML

I agree, your life sucks 89 695

You deserved it 6 831

By feelsbadman - 12/07/2018 05:00

Today, I decided to surprise my crush by wishing her happy birthday when she came out of the lift. Too bad she was busy giving someone a blow job and didn’t notice me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 905

You deserved it 617

By happybidet - 31/10/2016 13:02 - United Kingdom

Today, my girlfriend woke me with a surprise up on my birthday. Unfortunately, it was her screaming at the top of her lungs and punching me in the face because of a nightmare. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 726

You deserved it 883

By Blake Lawrence - 26/11/2012 18:59 - United States - Salt Lake City

Today, my girlfriend decided it would be cute to leave a love letter in my car while I was at work. She left my lights on. I got a dead battery. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 828

You deserved it 2 618

By Toldyouso - 22/01/2010 06:16 - United States

Today, I thought it would be romantic to fill my girlfriend's room with scented candles and surprise her when she was done showering. I lied there naked, with Kenny G playing softly. I heard a knock on the door, so I told her to come in. To my surprise it was her mom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 302

You deserved it 24 644

By Soline - 08/12/2008 12:05 - France

Today, I wanted to wake up my sweetheart with a surprise blowjob. He surprised me as well with a knee to the stomach. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 250

You deserved it 9 049

By Anonymous - 23/11/2015 03:17 - Canada

Today, I drove 3 hours to surprise my girlfriend, who I hadn't seen in 3 weeks. When she opened the door, she gasped, told me to fuck off and slammed the door in my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 809

You deserved it 2 377

By Anonymous - 19/12/2011 06:44 - United States

Today, I drove 45 min from my college to surprise my girlfriend with roses after she got off work. She responded by taking the roses, dumping them in her back seat, and speeding off because she couldn't miss Survivor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 090

You deserved it 3 334

Romantic moves

By Anonymous - 11/03/2023 03:00 - United States

Today, I tried to surprise my girlfriend with breakfast in bed. Instead, I spilled hot coffee all over her and the bed. We ended up spending the morning doing laundry instead of cuddling. FML

I agree, your life sucks 714

You deserved it 294

By Anonymous - 22/07/2013 08:47 - United Kingdom - Bury

Today, I was reassuring my girlfriend that I wasn't cheating on her because I was sneaking around. I'm actually just planning a surprise birthday party for her. During the reassuring, I accidentally called her another girl's name. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 968

You deserved it 30 305

OmniFML 0

Wednesday 24 June 2009 12:05

Come back and write it with a baseball bat. It's the thought that counts. ;)

easylazy 0

Wednesday 24 June 2009 18:22

You shouldn't jump to conclusions maybe she was having sex with YOU in the backseat DID YOU EVER THINK OF THAT?! No. THat's what I thought.

Comments

erroneousx2 0

Wednesday 24 June 2009 12:29

HAHAHA number one! Thats exactly what I was going to say! She definately wants that Birthday Sex. Girl you know I-I-I..

FlaminYawn 0

Wednesday 24 June 2009 12:30

dude, I'm sorry, she didn't tell me she had a boyfriend...

Teeheez 0

Thursday 25 June 2009 22:58

Ya right. Like ur the REAL guy she was gettin' busy with.

J_1182 2

Monday 24 September 2012 4:23

You never know.

clarke7792 6

Saturday 12 January 2013 4:25

ur a ****

warrenthewalrus 0

Wednesday 24 June 2009 12:33

What a major prick. I hope you broke up with her.

axislave 0

Wednesday 24 June 2009 12:35

Hahah #13 that's ******* hilarious!!! Well it is her birthday and I guess you're not good enough (too short maybe?) so for your birthday you should just **** an other girl or ask for a threesome (with her mom maybe if she's a milf lol) or her best friend...but yeah whatever just go bang her bestfriend lol

Chfanfiction 0

Wednesday 24 June 2009 14:37

Wait. Size matters? And why would you want to do that if you know your girlfriend is a cheating bitch? And why on earth would you want to have a threesome with her mom and her? There are so many things wrong with this...

axislave 0

Wednesday 24 June 2009 14:54

Prude Americans...and yeah actually it does.

Chfanfiction 0

Wednesday 24 June 2009 15:07

Why does thinking that having sex with another girl doesn't solve anything or having a threesome is just silly make me a prude? And how can size matter when there aren't any stimulatory organs in the cavity itself?

shortshan 0

Wednesday 24 June 2009 15:13

Not really. There are men who don't know how to please a woman, and you're probably one of them. It's all about foreplay, working up to it, and hitting the right spots.

CandiApple 0

Wednesday 24 June 2009 16:32

You have obviously never pleased a woman. The G-spot is located two inches up the ****** opposite the rectum. Silly boy.

atnikolov85 0

Wednesday 24 June 2009 17:39

Size matters, but the length - not so much.

voveraite 7

Wednesday 24 June 2009 18:48

People, not entering the size debate: what's up with all the "hook up with the mom/sister/best friend" advice? As if it only takes his will? As if the chances they'd accept aren't close to 0? Why give advice when it doesn't mostly depend on him whether it happens?