Miscellaneous: Today, I woke up at 2am and went to use the toilet. I sat there...

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By haunted - 23/10/2015 20:41 - United States - Gainesville

Today, I woke up at 2am and went to use the toilet. I sat there doing my business, when I heard a voice whisper my name from behind me. I live alone and the toilet is right up against the wall. I screamed and ran back to my room, then went without sleep for the rest of the night. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 575

You deserved it 2 417

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Same thing different taste

Shy bowels

By Dragoness11 - 27/03/2014 14:12 - United Kingdom - Northampton

Today, I still have my ridiculous fear of being heard on the toilet, and I can't go if people are around. I'd just sat down on the toilet when three of my housemates started chatting immediately outside the door. I had to sit silently until they were gone. For half an hour. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 134

You deserved it 9 656

Night terrors

By Anonymous - 12/07/2020 17:01

Today, I woke up at night to go to the toilet. My Dad was doing his thing with the toilet door wide open. I saw, screamed at the top of my lungs and peed my pants in horror. Now my throat hurts and I'm too embarrassed to look at him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 375

You deserved it 546

The sound of silence

By hearing too much - 03/11/2019 02:00

Today, the walls in my house are so thin that I heard my roommate yell from the bathroom upstairs, "Hear my butthole roar." Now I’m scared to use the bathroom after him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 786

You deserved it 229

Not a morning person

By Anonymous - 15/07/2021 20:01 - United Kingdom - Glasgow

Today, I was woken up by the sound of someone in my room. I started freaking out, thinking someone had broken in, so I kicked them, only to realise it was my boyfriend coming back from the toilet. I'd forgotten he was staying over. FML

I agree, your life sucks 534

You deserved it 759

You OK in there?

By stinkypants - 10/11/2011 03:15 - India

Today, I went to a dinner party. I had a bad stomach, so I made a dash to the bathroom and forgot to lock the door. While I was in, I heard some voices outside. In a panic, my reflex was to get up and lock the door. I did so, while simultaneously shitting all over myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 791

You deserved it 11 871

By bathroomgirl - 11/08/2011 16:09 - United States

Today, thinking I was alone in a public bathroom, I started singing the words to my favorite song. A minute later that I heard a toilet flush, so I just sat there petrified. The other person sarcastically picked up the singing from where I left off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 074

You deserved it 37 205

By Anonymous - 13/06/2013 16:01 - United States - Walker

Today, I was using a public toilet, when someone in the next stall reached under, grabbed at my low-hanging toilet paper and pulled at it at an insane speed, whispering some kind of weird chant. Then he suddenly stopped, screamed, and ran out. What the hell happened in there? FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 165

You deserved it 3 573

By shelbylove115 - 22/02/2013 05:35 - United States - Nevada City

Today, I walked into my near pitch-black bathroom and saw a person staring back at me. I woke my whole family up with my screams. The person was my reflection. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 618

You deserved it 35 201

By toni405 - 21/07/2011 21:24 - United States

Today, after watching Insidious, my boyfriend thought it would be funny to scare me while I was on the toilet. I was in mid-piss when he jumped out at me, and I ran screaming and peeing down the hall. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 779

You deserved it 11 476

By liynda - 06/05/2011 01:49 - Canada

Today, I knocked on the door of the bathroom to make sure nobody was in there before I walked in. Then I remembered I live alone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 079

You deserved it 15 578

Peeep 17

Saturday 24 October 2015 8:23

The chamber of secrets has opened!

ZelmaSlayer 30

Saturday 24 October 2015 8:28

Paranormal Activity: The FML dimension.

Comments

Druidmeister 4

Saturday 24 October 2015 21:18

"Florida Man," Lives!

TheLynx_fml 20

Saturday 24 October 2015 23:48

RUN NIGGA RUN!!!

JoshuaJamesGrimm 5

Sunday 25 October 2015 0:14

It was 2 am, probably sleep-induced hallucinations

Crayman 2

Sunday 25 October 2015 0:34

Drugs or what?

jd2013 5

Sunday 25 October 2015 0:49

Could well have been perfectly true. People are going to mock this, but just claim Gods protection. It works, Ive done it.

DasKing 18

Sunday 25 October 2015 0:58

I'm afraid you have toilet demons.

SorrowsReward 27

Sunday 25 October 2015 1:50

I lived in this house... You could close the bedroom door and push/pull from either side and it would stay closed, firm as any door would usually be. Can't budge the thing at all... But low and behold, the second you relaxed in bed it would click open and glide silently until it tapped against the wall. I still can't figure what caused it, but to this day it bums me out. The door thing wasn't that bad I guess, but OP, your story is the stuff that phobias are made from!