Love: Today, I woke up at 7am next to the man I swore I'd never get...

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By JJAnd - 28/08/2011 06:37 - United States

Today, I woke up at 7am next to the man I swore I'd never get intimate with again. After trying to get back to sleep despite my shame and disgust, he ripped the loudest fart ever. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 276

You deserved it 48 086

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Same thing different taste

Drunk hookup ends with a… bang

By Anonymous - 14/10/2019 12:00

Today, I woke myself up by farting in my sleep, only to realize that the guy I'd brought home from the bar was still next to me. He was awake. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 485

You deserved it 556

By Wowsers. - 30/01/2010 08:47 - United Kingdom

Today, I was woken up by my own fart. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 811

You deserved it 36 013

By byebyeromance - 26/08/2014 01:03 - United States - State College

Today, I was cuddling my boyfriend before going to bed. He farted really loud and spat in my face as he laughed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 326

You deserved it 5 077

Rude awakening

By Anonymous - 08/04/2020 23:00

Today, I was woken up at 4 in the morning by my boyfriend farting on my leg and giggling in his sleep. For the third time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 552

You deserved it 258

Cozy

By Anonymous - 03/04/2025 13:00 - United States

Today, my husband fell asleep on my shoulder. He then ripped a nasty fart. I exhaled slowly but apparently loud enough that it woke up my husband who promptly screamed directly in my ear, before screaming a second time when he smelled the fart as well. The worst part is that also he scared my cat off my lap. FML

I agree, your life sucks 396

You deserved it 83

By GasAttack - 07/09/2009 13:32 - Canada

Today, I was taking a shower. I heard my boyfriend come into the bathroom, brush his teeth and take off his clothes. He joined me in the shower and instead of doing something loving or sexy, he let out a huge fart into his hand and threw it into my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 58 488

You deserved it 8 538

The runs

By Anonymous - 04/01/2021 04:58

Today, I woke up next to my wife at my in-laws. It was all set to be a beautiful morning when we got serves breakfast in bed, until my mother in-law started pointing at the big shit stain running from my ass and on to the sheets. Never trust a fart, especially when you're sleeping. FML

I agree, your life sucks 868

You deserved it 534

By sydneybourgeois - 13/08/2011 04:06 - United States

Today, the guy of my dreams told me he liked me and leaned in to kiss me. Just as our lips touched, I ripped a big ass fart. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 528

You deserved it 16 154

By nightmare ass - 15/05/2019 06:11

Today, I let out the most vile, nose-melting dairy curdling fart of my life. The sound didn’t wake me up. But the nightmare I had from how rank smelling it was sure did. My own fart ruined my sleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 541

You deserved it 422

By ohmygoodness - 02/03/2009 21:51 - United States

Today, I woke up at my boyfriend's place with grumbling stomach pains. I left him in bed to go have explosive diarreah in the bathroom next to his room. When I was done, I came back to bed and snuggled in next to his sleeping form and he rolled over to whisper, "I heard everthing." FML

I agree, your life sucks 80 734

You deserved it 17 294

cahlalsteel 1

Sunday 28 August 2011 16:11

hold your breath

FriskyTaco 0

Sunday 28 August 2011 16:11

At least he didn't shit the bed...

Comments

Buzzy123 7

Sunday 28 August 2011 20:47

Pfft I bet I've ripped louder farts...it's every male's job to be proud of their farts.

AmazingLadyy13 0

Sunday 28 August 2011 20:53

God damn alcohol, it's one hell of a drug.

THE_A_TEEN 27

Sunday 28 August 2011 21:00

YDI ALL THE WAY Its very wrong to mix barry white and achohol in the same night. LEARN

marqn001 9

Sunday 28 August 2011 21:52

well too bad u gonna have. his child if he didnt wear protectiom

PepperPotter 2

Sunday 28 August 2011 22:45

Women Have No Morals

ohmandapants 16

Sunday 28 August 2011 23:10

Why are you so desperate OP? You're sleeping with a guy who makes you feel shameful and disgusting, for what reason? No sympathy here, YDI. And for those people saying that people do stupid things while drunk; alcohol doesn't MAKE you do anything that you don't WANT to do.

stoptrying 9

Monday 29 August 2011 8:00

It does, however, lower your inhibitions. Which in turn makes you susceptible to doing things you wouldn't normally do. So having a lot to drink could easily have "made" her sleep with him. It was still her choice.. but had she been sober(if she was drunk) the choice would most likely have been no.

ohmandapants 16

Tuesday 30 August 2011 4:18

Yes but, if she REALLY hated this guy, she wouldn't have done it either way. This is desperation at its finest.

abouttofly 12

Tuesday 30 August 2011 7:44

Actually, if she was drunk, then he raped her. It's impossible to give consent while under the influence of alcohol. If she really wanted to have sex with him, then he could have waited until she was sober. Instead, he probably knew that she would only have sex while drunk and took advantage. (Of course this only applies to the FML if the OP was drunk.)