Love: Today, I woke up at 7am next to the man I swore I'd never get...

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By JJAnd - 28/08/2011 06:37 - United States

Today, I woke up at 7am next to the man I swore I'd never get intimate with again. After trying to get back to sleep despite my shame and disgust, he ripped the loudest fart ever. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 276

You deserved it 48 086

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Same thing different taste

Drunk hookup ends with a… bang

By Anonymous - 14/10/2019 12:00

Today, I woke myself up by farting in my sleep, only to realize that the guy I'd brought home from the bar was still next to me. He was awake. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 485

You deserved it 556

By Wowsers. - 30/01/2010 08:47 - United Kingdom

Today, I was woken up by my own fart. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 811

You deserved it 36 013

By byebyeromance - 26/08/2014 01:03 - United States - State College

Today, I was cuddling my boyfriend before going to bed. He farted really loud and spat in my face as he laughed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 326

You deserved it 5 077

Rude awakening

By Anonymous - 08/04/2020 23:00

Today, I was woken up at 4 in the morning by my boyfriend farting on my leg and giggling in his sleep. For the third time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 552

You deserved it 258

Cozy

By Anonymous - 03/04/2025 13:00 - United States

Today, my husband fell asleep on my shoulder. He then ripped a nasty fart. I exhaled slowly but apparently loud enough that it woke up my husband who promptly screamed directly in my ear, before screaming a second time when he smelled the fart as well. The worst part is that also he scared my cat off my lap. FML

I agree, your life sucks 396

You deserved it 83

By GasAttack - 07/09/2009 13:32 - Canada

Today, I was taking a shower. I heard my boyfriend come into the bathroom, brush his teeth and take off his clothes. He joined me in the shower and instead of doing something loving or sexy, he let out a huge fart into his hand and threw it into my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 58 488

You deserved it 8 538

The runs

By Anonymous - 04/01/2021 04:58

Today, I woke up next to my wife at my in-laws. It was all set to be a beautiful morning when we got serves breakfast in bed, until my mother in-law started pointing at the big shit stain running from my ass and on to the sheets. Never trust a fart, especially when you're sleeping. FML

I agree, your life sucks 868

You deserved it 534

By sydneybourgeois - 13/08/2011 04:06 - United States

Today, the guy of my dreams told me he liked me and leaned in to kiss me. Just as our lips touched, I ripped a big ass fart. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 528

You deserved it 16 154

By nightmare ass - 15/05/2019 06:11

Today, I let out the most vile, nose-melting dairy curdling fart of my life. The sound didn’t wake me up. But the nightmare I had from how rank smelling it was sure did. My own fart ruined my sleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 541

You deserved it 422

By ohmygoodness - 02/03/2009 21:51 - United States

Today, I woke up at my boyfriend's place with grumbling stomach pains. I left him in bed to go have explosive diarreah in the bathroom next to his room. When I was done, I came back to bed and snuggled in next to his sleeping form and he rolled over to whisper, "I heard everthing." FML

I agree, your life sucks 80 734

You deserved it 17 294

cahlalsteel 1

Sunday 28 August 2011 16:11

hold your breath

FriskyTaco 0

Sunday 28 August 2011 16:11

At least he didn't shit the bed...

Comments

onefinemess 11

Sunday 28 August 2011 17:21

YDI. Op you never know but he may have the same buyers remorse when he wakes up. Hope you used a rubber!

Buttsexpirate 9

Sunday 28 August 2011 17:23

People do stupid shit when they're drunk. Sorry op. Or maybe he used his loud farts to knock you out and bring you back to his cave. Argh!

Captain_Crankypa 2

Sunday 28 August 2011 17:32

Think of the obnoxious and gassy babies!

SinfulRose 0

Sunday 28 August 2011 17:44

****.

ultra_notorious 26

Sunday 28 August 2011 17:52

way to appear all high and mighty, but in all reality you do have low standards

Edna11 0

Sunday 28 August 2011 17:58

Lol hahahhaaha

nb22_fml 6

Sunday 28 August 2011 18:10

So then y did u?

anencephalic 14

Sunday 28 August 2011 18:14

At least you got laid.

megamandude455 10

Sunday 28 August 2011 18:15

BEST FML EVER! xDD

LonelyLoser07 2

Sunday 28 August 2011 18:18

teaches you not to have one night stands with people you know you will regret in the morning

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The Top

Today, I was so horny, I decided to meet up secretly with a guy after having dinner with family. We went for a night drive and he parked somewhere to go down on me. The dude was sucking the life out of my clit, almost biting it off. Good thing my mum called and I had a reason to escape the ordeal. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 355

You deserved it 868

Today, my girlfriend of two years and I decided to have sex for the first time. When we were in the room, finally ready to start, she confessed that she had never seen a penis before. To make her more comfortable, I showed her mine. At the sight of it, well, she actually fainted. FML

I agree, your life sucks 92 102

You deserved it 11 632

The Top

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You deserved it 279

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I agree, your life sucks 71 865

You deserved it 6 401

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I agree, your life sucks 39 595

You deserved it 13 910

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I agree, your life sucks 2 256

You deserved it 448

Today, my "friend" returned my Survival Edition of Fallout 3. I should be happy, but he scratched it all to hell. My dad paid nearly $500 for it. He refuses to pay for it to be fixed or buy me a new one. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 340

You deserved it 788

Today, I vomitted on an Oxford professor during my first university interview. They called me "little miss nervous" in my second interview. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 204

You deserved it 564