Intimacy: Today, I woke up finding myself violently humping my pillow.... - FML

By R_U_CEREAL - 04/07/2009 08:58 - United States

Spicy

Today, I woke up finding myself violently humping my pillow. My mom recorded it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 69 097

You deserved it 13 729

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Same thing different taste

Poor pillow

By Randy Candy - 12/02/2021 17:01 - United States

Spicy

Today, I was having a fantastic sex dream. So good, in fact, that I woke myself up breathing heavily and humping my pillow. I was at my friend's house and she saw everything. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 303

You deserved it 277

Lock your doors

By Anonymous - 27/05/2019 00:14

Spicy

Today, I was touching myself in my room. Just as I hit the climax, my mom walked in because she heard me making noises and thought I was having a nightmare. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 470

You deserved it 763

By Anonymous - 02/11/2014 19:47 - Australia - Werribee

Today, I woke up to my 7 year old son angrily trying to smother me with a pillow. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 990

You deserved it 4 772

By Anonymous - 17/01/2016 18:41 - United States - Valparaiso

Spicy

Today, I was having a wet dream and had a pretty vivid imagination. I ended up thrusting so hard that it showed up in reality. I literally humped so hard that I woke myself up. Not only that, but I was sleeping on the living room floor so my roommates saw and now it's their joke of the day. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 709

You deserved it 3 993

By GiveADogABone - 15/10/2015 22:47 - United States

Spicy

Today, my girlfriend and I were trying to get it on on the bed. As soon as things were starting to get heated, I turned over and saw that my dog had not only jumped up on the bed, but had been watching and started to hump the pillow next to our heads. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 055

You deserved it 3 517

By Mygawdwhy - 21/01/2018 01:30

Today, I gave my mom an extra pillow since the ones in the guest room were too flat and hurt her neck. Hours later, I remembered that I'd stashed my vibrator in that pillowcase during a romantic camping trip with my husband. She found it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 185

You deserved it 2 059

By tracy4191 - 18/09/2016 05:21 - United States - Ponchatoula

Today, I found out my mom sleeps in my room when I'm at college during the week. I discovered this my bumping into her dildo with my foot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 556

You deserved it 737

False alarm

By dirtyhands - 18/02/2009 23:01 - United States

Spicy

Today, I was masturbating on my inflatable air mattress that squeaks when you move. Suddenly, my mom burst into my room to ask if I was okay because she thought the squeaking was me crying. I ripped my hands from my pants and turned on my side; she walked over and grabbed my hands to console me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 529

You deserved it 62 912

By glittercat - 26/01/2009 23:44 - United States

Spicy

Today, I heard my mom moan in the other room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 258

You deserved it 3 323

Alexa, play "Asleep" by The Smiths

By Anonymous - 01/10/2019 12:00

Spicy

Today, I woke up to my best friend laying next to me vigorously touching herself. She thought I was asleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 667

You deserved it 222

Next

Top comments

awuh_man 0

Saturday 4 July 2009 16:04

haha that sucks was it hot?

Dboy23 0

Saturday 4 July 2009 16:11

LMFAO! Horny little bugger are we?

Comments

ellbtvsvm 0

Saturday 4 July 2009 18:36

"I woke up finding myself"? Gah, it hurts. But that is horrible. FYL.

LouieG2OO7 0

Saturday 4 July 2009 18:42

dude, that's gross...burn the tape and get on her about privacy

krispykreem 0

Saturday 4 July 2009 19:07

...why?!?!

mrbattleman 10

Saturday 4 July 2009 19:42

Guess what video will be played at your wedding =P

BLNovelist 0

Saturday 4 July 2009 19:52

IF you were in your bedroom when that happened, tell her off. I would seriously rip my parents a new one if they recorded me in my room while I slept- not only is it creepy as hell, but a total invasion of privacy. FYL.

SuperSpore 0

Saturday 4 July 2009 20:14

Why did they have a video camera ready and how did they know you were humping your pillow? I would find that slightly creepy. Check the camera. There may be more videos of you in your sleep. O.O

heavenandhell 0

Sunday 5 July 2009 16:14

good point lol

crudeandrudeguy 29

Sunday 20 September 2015 2:24

This could happen a lot more frequently than he thinks, humping things in his sleep

GrimReaper973 0

Saturday 4 July 2009 20:15

wheres the tape?

girls4girls 0

Saturday 4 July 2009 20:15

XDDDD

thatgirl21 0

Saturday 4 July 2009 20:17

BAHAHAHAHAHA at #45 cmnt. i think your mom was enjoying it.

wellchit 0

Saturday 4 July 2009 20:23

your mom wants you in the sack ;)

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I agree, your life sucks 33 740

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I agree, your life sucks 34 892

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I agree, your life sucks 28 395

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