Intimacy: Today, I woke up from a dream in which I had a penis. Apparently...

By urgg - 05/09/2010 14:20 - United States

Today, I woke up from a dream in which I had a penis. Apparently I talk in my sleep, because my boyfriend kept staring at my crotch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 913

You deserved it 5 024

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Same thing different taste

By AwkwardMoments - 26/01/2017 14:00

Today, while napping on the couch, I had a very vivid dream about a girl I like. I woke up to my mother and father choking back laughter and recording me on their phones. I don't know what's worse: waking up with a boner in front of my parents or finding out I was also talking dirty in my sleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 959

You deserved it 712

By Anonymous - 07/06/2012 17:41 - United States - Oregon City

Today, I woke up from a sexy dream about my boyfriend. Too bad I'd fallen asleep in my living room with my whole family over, grandma included. They were all staring. I'd been sleep humping and moaning. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 188

You deserved it 6 720

Poor pillow

By Randy Candy - 12/02/2021 17:01 - United States

Today, I was having a fantastic sex dream. So good, in fact, that I woke myself up breathing heavily and humping my pillow. I was at my friend's house and she saw everything. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 301

You deserved it 276

Who the ****?

By Anonymous - 04/10/2010 02:04 - United States

Today, I woke up finding out I had a wet dream last night. About someone other than my girlfriend. I don't remember anything about the dream, but my girlfriend remembers everything, aparently I talked through out my dream, she was right next to me listening. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 896

You deserved it 5 933

By Anonymous - 17/01/2016 18:41 - United States - Valparaiso

Today, I was having a wet dream and had a pretty vivid imagination. I ended up thrusting so hard that it showed up in reality. I literally humped so hard that I woke myself up. Not only that, but I was sleeping on the living room floor so my roommates saw and now it's their joke of the day. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 709

You deserved it 3 990

By jennahh - 10/07/2019 22:00

Today, I had a sexual dream about my ex, and I woke up after saying his name. My boyfriend was awake, and heard all the dirty talk and me moaning my ex-boyfriend's name. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 180

You deserved it 1 058

By Light Sleeper - 14/10/2012 04:24 - United States - Evansville

Today, I woke up to my boyfriend trying to initiate sex with me in my sleep. He confessed to thinking that if he did it lightly enough, I'd think I was just dreaming. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 026

You deserved it 4 492

By damnit - 16/10/2009 17:27 - United States

Today, I had a wet dream. The problem was that I was dreaming about watching porn. I can't even get laid in my dreams. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 710

You deserved it 4 271

By Fark - 27/05/2010 22:50 - United Kingdom

Today, I had a dream I was going the bathroom. I then woke up peeing, but I didn’t wet the bed yet. As I ran to the bathroom while half asleep and in the dark, I rammed into the wall. On my way back to bed, I tripped and accidentally slapped my fiancé in an effort to stop myself from falling over. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 325

You deserved it 4 959

By Anonymous - 07/08/2012 14:49 - United States

Today, I discovered that I sometimes talk in my sleep. After spending an amazing, perfectly romantic night with my boyfriend, I woke up to him telling me to leave. I have no idea what I could have said. He still won't talk to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 671

You deserved it 3 066

angrygood 0

Sunday 5 September 2010 19:21

Wow... Never happened to me.

oboewhore_xD 6

Sunday 5 September 2010 19:22

What did you name it? :D

Comments

Snessie 0

Sunday 5 September 2010 19:53

LOL!!!!!! That's hilarious :D

fmlkiki 0

Sunday 5 September 2010 20:08

he wanted your dream to be real eww

Griggy 0

Sunday 5 September 2010 20:09

What the hell goes down in your sub-conscious?

trekkiejay 0

Sunday 5 September 2010 20:20

Lol, penis envy.

nekkid_dude 0

Sunday 5 September 2010 20:29

Penis Envy much?

pieintheface 0

Sunday 5 September 2010 20:33

he just making sure one doesn't appear... or is he?

bigbadtim 7

Sunday 5 September 2010 20:47

Looks like you made a dick of yourself.

cathylee22 4

Sunday 5 September 2010 20:50

ha lol that's so funny! come on I am sure guys wonder what it's like to have a ******! This is funny, not an fml.

Jester7 0

Sunday 5 September 2010 20:50

well, did you like the dream? cause that's a pretty big detail to leave out

RedPillSucks 31

Sunday 5 September 2010 20:53

the power of positive thinking

TheIrishJaneDoe 8

Monday 6 September 2010 7:17

Quite The Secret, eh? ;)

Keywords

Miscellaneous Awkward Racism Love Money My ex Harassment Work Embarrassing Accident AITA Am I overreacting? Religion Relatable Health Gifts LGBTQIA+ Annoying Inappropriate Teachers Education Animals Dogs Relationship advice Cats Cute Transportation Friends Cars Scams

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Today, my boyfriend and were I getting it on in his bedroom where he had all of his anime models on display. I accidentally knocked over one of his models and it fell on to the floor. He got angry and kicked me out. Apparently, making his models look good was more important than us making love. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 645

You deserved it 13 331

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Today, I was walking to my dorm room while it was snowing heavily. I saw a girl in a wheelchair trying to get up a slippery incline. Being a good person, I asked to help. I'm a pretty weak guy, and I couldn't push her up. She wheeled away crying because she thought she was fat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 883

You deserved it 6 134

Today, after a 20-minute conversation, I'm still unable to convince my grandmother that Tylenol and Acetaminophen are the same thing. I just graduated med school. FML

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You deserved it 83

Today, my husband woke me up at 3 AM by putting whipped cream on my hand and tickling my nose with a feather. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 715

You deserved it 9 929

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I agree, your life sucks 209

You deserved it 709

Today, my ex-girlfriend, who broke up with me because God said she couldn't have a boyfriend, started dating my friend... Who she always told me she didn't even like. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 276

You deserved it 223

Same thing different taste

Poor pillow

Who the ****?

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