By clodius - 20/11/2013 18:25 - United Kingdom - Airdrie

Spicy
Today, I woke up from a drunken one-night-stand. The person I slept with turned out to be heavily pregnant. She tried to convince me that I am the father and that I passed out for 7 months. FML
I agree, your life sucks 65 222
You deserved it 23 287

clodius_fml tells us more.

clodius_fml 6

Hi, OP here. I genuinely didn't think this would be published but here we go. Yes on that night I was extremely drunk and she was drinking heavily too, and I mean heavily. I didn't notice the huge bump because 1) I was shitfaced 2) She hid it extremely well. Anyway after talking to a few people it seems that this woman has been going around for the past 7 months sleeping with people and saying they are the dad. I have nothing wrong with people having sex when they aren't in a relationship but don't try and pin point your baby's dad on some bloke. It is wrong on so many levels.

Thanksgiving: Turkeys and Skids
Family meals that turn absurd, because Thanksgiving is also about laughing at little disasters. More…
Previous FML Next FML

Top comments

linyah 11

boy..i feel sorry for the child she has if she got shit faced while with child..

467 3
thrifting 18

If she had been drinking heavily, I feel bad for that baby. Fetal alcohol syndrome is serious, not to mention she's probably been shitfaced every other time she's slept around and tried to pull that trick. :/

399 2

Comments

ReallyHottChic 14

This made me laugh way too hard! WTH is wrong with girls now a days?!

2 1
allplayedout 20

Well, the good news is there's no chance you'll end up with a "knocked up" scenario on your hands.

4 1
ViviMage 38

If she was preggers before you ever met, you are not the father. You also didn't fertilize anything else. Run before you end up on a talk show!

1 12
Nyx_fml 23

Yeeeeeah... I think OP is clear on that.

7 0
buttcramp 21

where did you wake up? your room, a hospital bed, her basement? lol

6 0
worldclassrager 39

Hot tub time machine! DNA test would come back negative...

0 3
Chaith 16

This FML made me feel very sorry for the pregnant woman. I'm sure she's extremely worried that she won't be able to provide for her child all alone. To see that kind of sad desperation makes me want to say the FML belongs to her.

9 6
clh3031 6

Ummm...am I missing something in the FML? How are you sure she is anything just by reading what OP wrote? She could know who the baby daddy is and he could be planning on helping raise the child too. Just because they are no longer together doesn't mean she will have to be alone. Hell, her and the father could still be together and she is a cheater, for all we know. It seems to be just a joke though, imo. I'm mean think about it...the guy laying next to you, whom you just had sex with, who was shitfaced drunk the night before, wakes up and notices your big pregnant belly, with his eyes like --> O.O what do u say to break the awkward silence...it's yours! That's some funny stuff right there.

9 1
Chaith 16

Since this post is on "F My Life", and not "My Life is Hilarious", there was likely a lil' bit of awkward tension and a lot of "Overly Attached" one night stand feelings present. Haha.

4 2