Work, Medication and Health: Today, I woke up in the hallway. I took a sleeping pill the night... - FML

FML for mobile
Free

Open in app

By StillDrowsy - 09/10/2009 12:29 - United States

Today, I woke up in the hallway. I took a sleeping pill the night before to get a good sleep in for work, but it turns out it was too strong. I got dizzy and passed out on my way to my bed, fell in the hall and chipped my two front teeth, and slept there - straight through work the next day. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 203

You deserved it 7 374

May weddings: Love and blunders
Weddings are supposed to be perfect, but our stories show that perfection can sometimes be... surprising! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

Spooked

By Anonymous - 10/11/2009 22:57 - United States

Today, I woke up in a complete daze. It took me a few minutes to realize what had happened. Apparently my sleepwalking problems have returned, only this time I managed to overdose myself with Nyquil. As a result, I slept for fourteen hours, wet my sheets, and lost my job. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 887

You deserved it 4 130

By Anonymous - 13/05/2019 12:00

Today, after a trip to the emergency room for severe stomach pain and almost passing out in the shower, I slipped on the wet bathroom floor and broke my two front teeth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 968

You deserved it 125

By Michael - 25/10/2011 15:00 - Australia

Today, while taking pills for a headache, I threw my head back to help get the pills down, and in the process, whacked it against the brick windowsill behind me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 938

You deserved it 15 642

By sleepytime - 05/10/2009 16:36 - United States

Today, I was really, REALLY tired at work. I went to the restroom to take a little break, and must have dozed off, because I was awoken by my boss, knocking on the door of the stall. Apparently, I had been snoring. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 701

You deserved it 32 930

Nightmare mode

By oliver - 27/01/2016 12:02 - United States

Today, I woke up with a pounding headache. My wife tells me that last night I woke up from a nightmare, screaming, tried to run away, and knocked myself out running headfirst into the bedroom wall. So she put me back to bed and went back to sleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 529

You deserved it 2 272

Make it stop!

By DBR - 23/04/2009 10:45 - United States

Today, my alarm went off. I reached to swat it, missed, slipped, smacked my face on my dresser, and fell on the floor. As I picked myself up off the floor, I hit my head on the open top drawer of my other dresser. In 30 seconds of consciousness, I was attacked by two pieces of furniture. FML

I agree, your life sucks 58 904

You deserved it 11 479

Less haste, more speed

By D J's MOM - 18/09/2023 20:00

Today, at 11 p.m., after getting up for work at 4:45 a.m., I ran up the stairs to go feed my cat. I slipped on something, missed the handrail, then fell down and cracked my head on the tile floor. My hairclip was dead center, so I then had a fun night in the ER while my dang head wouldn't stop bleeding. FML

I agree, your life sucks 693

You deserved it 121

Occam's razor

By anonymous - 12/02/2011 05:48 - Canada

Today, I woke up in the middle of the night to get a glass of water. Groggy and disoriented, I bumped into several pieces of furniture and made a lot of noise. My dad woke up, mistook me for a burglar, and knocked me out with his fist. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 829

You deserved it 4 722

Tumble

By Anonymous - 18/11/2018 12:00

Today, I was staying at my friend's house, which is next door. Our houses are the same layout, only mirrored, so tonight when I got out of bed in the dark, I instinctively turned to my left, thinking I was entering the bathroom, and fell down the stairs. Three of my teeth are missing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 492

You deserved it 456

By Anonymous - 11/01/2018 19:00

Today, I fell asleep on the couch and my boyfriend thought it would be cute to carry me to bed. He knocked my head on the door frame and I pretended it didn't hurt because he felt so bad, but I shouldn't have. I was rushed to the hospital hours later with a concussion. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 945

You deserved it 679

Next

Top comments

DoomJeff91 2

Friday 9 October 2009 20:23

Well now you know what you want for Christmas.

oopsiess 0

Friday 9 October 2009 20:24

How? Did you take like 6 of them?

Comments

rabid_otaku 29

Friday 6 November 2015 1:11

I used to have sleeping medication so powerful that I didn't wake up when I had to take a piss. Mattresses are expensive.

Idiot_Penguini 7

Thursday 28 April 2016 6:14

YDI

metroido 17

Thursday 6 January 2022 11:19

How on earth??? When I take sleeping pills, absolutely nothing happens.

FML on Facebook

Keywords

Love Healthy Lifestyle Sex Relatable Kids Parenting Relationship advice Argument Animals Embarrassing Dogs Poopoo peepee Vacation Money Capitalism Work Transportation Cars Dad jokes Parents Friends Birthday Family Surprise Shopping Zoom Cute Intimacy Paranoia Cheating

The Top

Today, I got divorce papers from my wife, who was a former adult entertainment performer. Perhaps foolishly, I tried to get her to accept Jesus and become a Christian, which she eventually did. Now she is divorcing me for "being married to a former porn star." FML

I agree, your life sucks 180

You deserved it 646

Today, I was attacked by a bird at three in the morning. The bird was being attacked by an owl, and it decided the safest place to land wasn't in a tree, but my face. No one will believe me, despite the 12 stitches across my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 010

You deserved it 2 226

The Top

Today, I met my new roommate. She has a life-size cardboard cutout of Justin Bieber in her room, which I've seen her having actual conversations with twice already. I have to share a bedroom with this psycho. FML

I agree, your life sucks 57 143

You deserved it 4 742

Today, I tried talking to my doctor about my insomnia several times, but all she does is prescribe me antidepressants, and tells me to take melatonin or exercise. I ate two melatonin gummies nearly 12 hours ago. I haven’t slept a wink, and my insurance won’t pay for another doctor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 003

You deserved it 148

Today, I was talking to my online therapist about my problems with relationships, mainly that guys only want sex and don't listen to me. After I'd confided in him, and told him how I felt about my issues, he told me he would marry me and have my children. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 986

You deserved it 243

Whee!

I agree, your life sucks 241

You deserved it 77

Today, while I was lifeguarding a swim meet with over 100 patrons, a duck paid a visit to our pool. He sat down and a brown cloud surfaced in the water. He immediately flew off. My manager then made me put goggles on and scoop out the poop while everyone watched. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 694

You deserved it 912

Today, after 2 months of my new neighbours' kids throwing rocks at our cars, constantly swearing at us, bullying my siblings in and out of school, and vandalising our property, their mother has convinced the landlord that we're the ones out of control. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 091

You deserved it 2 712