Animals: Today, I woke up on a friend's floor with a massive hangover... - FML

By drunk - 06/03/2010 07:38 - Australia

Today, I woke up on a friend's floor with a massive hangover after her party last night. My friend, who was next to me, barfed all over me. She then told me that while I was drunk last night, I made out with her dog as well as two of our other friend's boyfriends. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 280

You deserved it 40 954

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Same thing different taste

With friends like these…

By marz88 - 24/10/2009 18:27 - United States

Today, a friend of mine got a bit drunk, but said she was fine and didn't feel drunk at all. I took her keys anyway and said she could sleep on my bed, while I slept on the floor next to the bed. I was rudely woken up in the middle of the night to her rolling over and vomiting on my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 697

You deserved it 7 135

By Inconnu - 18/06/2011 05:13 - France

Today, I was holding my drunken friend's hair while she threw up in the toilet at a party. She said, crying, "Y'don't have to do this..." I told her that that's what friends are for. She replied, "Yeah, but I did sleep with your boyfriend..." FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 588

You deserved it 3 860

By Anonymous - 29/01/2019 16:00

Today, I am now sleeping on the floor because my friend got super drunk at a small party then peed herself in her sleep. I was sleeping beside her and my clothes smell like pee. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 158

You deserved it 239

Chain reaction

By Anonymous - 03/05/2023 13:30 - Australia

Today, I got drunk and spewed all over my lounge room floor. My dog ate it up, also got drunk, and also eventually spewed on the floor too. FML

I agree, your life sucks 203

You deserved it 1 136

By Med - 13/11/2012 12:02 - Netherlands - Groningen

Today, after clubbing with my girlfriend, we went to her place. She then threw up on the floor, and went to clean herself up. When she came back, she'd forgotten that she'd just thrown up. She blamed me for puking, and kicked me out. It was 4:00 am and a 3-hour walk home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 792

You deserved it 2 975

By justafriend - 28/05/2017 00:00

Today, I went to a bar with a close friend. She got drunk and was feeling sick, so I carried her to my car to take her to her house. Some stranger accused me of drugging her and tackled me with her in my arms. She threw up on me, and he took off running without an apology. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 254

You deserved it 382

By allennn - 14/03/2010 14:56 - France

Today, I went to a party, and the girl I really like started telling me how much she likes me and how she thought we would be good together. I was so drunk I threw up on her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 928

You deserved it 38 550

Tasty

By Anonymous - 22/05/2020 20:00

Today, while picking up my extremely drunk girlfriend from a party, she insisted on attempting to make out with me. She threw up in my mouth mid-kiss. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 787

You deserved it 297

By mushroomtop - 23/09/2017 23:15

Today, I woke up extremely hung over on a friend's couch after a night of heavy drinking and partying. To my horror, I discovered that, in my drunken state, I'd allowed said friend's six-year-old daughter to trim my hair. I now have a bowl cut. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 914

You deserved it 3 524

By gingerbread - 18/12/2017 18:00 - Armenia - Yerevan

Today, I got a little too drunk at my best friend's birthday party and threw up in the pub bathroom. I wiped everything up, composed myself, and went back to the party table before promptly throwing up on myself in front of the whole pub. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 991

You deserved it 3 710

Next

Top comments

Muffinish 0

Saturday 6 March 2010 15:53

you deserve it for getting shitfaced.

BeeSkwaird 0

Saturday 6 March 2010 15:57

"Two of our other friend's boyfriends" and "two of our other friends' boyfriends": huge difference.

Comments

ciarnf77 0

Tuesday 9 March 2010 22:55

Well how low can u go... Chihuahuas prehaps?!?!?!?!?!

ciarnf77 0

Tuesday 9 March 2010 22:58

How low can u go.... Chihuahuas prehaps?!?!?!

Grimacy 0

Wednesday 10 March 2010 2:42

This is why I will never ever drink enough to get drunk.

nodbor 11

Monday 15 March 2010 9:39

You KNOW this is on video, was the dog before, during, or after the guys?

zzyxer 0

Tuesday 16 March 2010 3:04

honey, if you were drunk, shit didnt happen

zzyxer 0

Tuesday 16 March 2010 3:08

i remember putting my contacts into the cap of my toothpaste once thinking they were the case. good times!

augepauge09 0

Saturday 27 March 2010 4:28

Sounds like a fun night

Classicchick 0

Monday 25 April 2011 6:06

Not cool.

pikapika94 0

Saturday 30 April 2011 17:20

pretty slutty

bms1996 12

Friday 29 July 2011 0:22

YDI for drinking :P

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The Top

Today, I was babysitting this 12 year old. We were watching a movie, and he was being an angel just laying with his head in my lap. He fell asleep so I closed my eyes and had a little nap. When I woke up he had taken my shirt off and was feeling up my boobs. FML

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You deserved it 15 067

Today, I found out that in the three years I've been dating my boyfriend, his parents have secretly been going through all of his emails, including the ones I've sent him with "sexy" pictures attached. I can't look his parents in the eye without being reminded that they've both seen me naked. FML

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You deserved it 14 749

The Top

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I agree, your life sucks 729

You deserved it 257

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I agree, your life sucks 31 317

You deserved it 2 600

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I agree, your life sucks 18 449

You deserved it 34 358

Today, when I got out of the shower, my mother, my boyfriend, and 3 of my friends confronted me for an intervention. My problem? They think I'm a workaholic. What they don't know is that I lost my job 4 weeks ago. I stay up all night filling out job applications. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 815

You deserved it 228

Today, my mom volunteered me to house-sit for one of her friends. This lady has texted me over ten times in less than 24 hours, called me unreasonable for not dropping jury duty to meet with her, and has messaged my mom multiple times to complain about me. My mom already said I would do this for free. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 712

You deserved it 1 685