Miscellaneous: Today, I woke up, showered, and began brushing my teeth. When...

By Anonymous - 23/10/2011 11:45 - United States

Today, I woke up, showered, and began brushing my teeth. When I started to brush my tongue I gagged, like usual, and threw up a little. What's unusual? I threw up a cockroach. FML

I agree, your life sucks 58 274

You deserved it 4 595

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Same thing different taste

By no name - 22/02/2011 12:25

Today, I got up in the middle of the night to get a glass of water. I felt something get caught in my throat so I coughed and spluttered a bit. When I turned on the lights I discovered I'd coughed up a cockroach. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 958

You deserved it 4 787

By jaqlove - 02/07/2016 20:28 - United States - Clementon

Today, I woke up with a cockroach in my ear. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 024

You deserved it 2 643

Added protein

By Anonymous - 10/02/2021 00:30

Today, I was drinking lemon juice through a straw. After finishing half of the drink, I noticed there was a cockroach in my straw. FML

I agree, your life sucks 948

You deserved it 192

Sorry, little dude

By dire-rear - 16/01/2010 20:19 - Singapore

Today, I was stuck on the toilet with a huge stomachache after eating bad food the day before. I got up to flush when I noticed that there was a cockroach struggling feebly in the pile of crap. I'll never know if it got there before or after I crapped. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 097

You deserved it 3 656

Minty freshness

By Sergie - 04/06/2010 09:28 - Ireland

Today, I was getting ready for my first day at work. Right before leaving the house I brushed my teeth thoroughly one more time to have a fresh breath. While cleaning my tongue, I went too far, which made me throw up. I was 20 minutes late for work. Good start. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 200

You deserved it 28 371

By Anonymous - 07/02/2014 18:51 - Mayotte - Mamoudzou

Today, I found a roach in my takeaway. I found it after I felt something hard in my mouth and spat pieces of it back out onto my plate. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 284

You deserved it 3 662

By foxbrat - 11/10/2009 06:18 - United States

Today, I woke up with a dead cockroach and its guts all over my forehead. My boyfriend responded by laughing and saying "Poor guy, never had a chance to see the world." FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 234

You deserved it 3 296

By laurenmichela - 12/10/2015 21:47 - United Kingdom

Today, I coughed so much I threw up, then whilst recovering from throwing up, a fly flew into my mouth and I ate it. I then promptly threw up again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 637

You deserved it 2 098

By Sarah-grace - 17/05/2016 22:20 - United States - Benton

Today, I was dumping some old milk in the sink and noticed it wasn't going down. Assuming food was clogging the drain, I stuck my hand down in it to remove the food. I removed a blueberry and half a cockroach. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 807

You deserved it 1 511

Wardrobe change please

By Meagan Ortiz - 16/08/2020 23:02

Today, I choked on water so hard that I threw up and shat myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 550

You deserved it 260

DinosaursAreCool_fml 8

Sunday 23 October 2011 19:19

That's nasty (Cleveland voice)

shellzy 20

Sunday 23 October 2011 19:19

Oh god...I just threw up a little. Cockroach free at least.

Comments

TuteSweet 13

Monday 24 October 2011 5:31

um... ew.

tim_marbach 0

Monday 24 October 2011 5:32

I would call a priest

gaby822 1

Monday 24 October 2011 5:52

That is disgusting!!>:p

auddylynne 0

Monday 24 October 2011 6:03

WTF?! That's a little scary. Id go to my doctor. Just in case there's more....uuugh!

edram1 0

Monday 24 October 2011 6:13

That's freakn sick

potatoman12 0

Monday 24 October 2011 6:24

...HOW?

Fergeus78 0

Monday 24 October 2011 6:35

Ewww... Thats gross...how did it get in ur mouth?!:/

RaidenEl 5

Monday 24 October 2011 6:41

That's actually false..it was a rumor Started by Lisa Holst in 1993 to prove how humans will believe almost anything..lol

Brett121 6

Monday 24 October 2011 6:55

You soposidly swollow 8 spiders a year in your sleep

BBb663 0

Monday 24 October 2011 7:11

ur house must b full of them for one to crawl down ur throat. Disgusting u deserved it

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The Top

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The Top

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You deserved it 5 731

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You deserved it 5 352

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I agree, your life sucks 21 879

You deserved it 2 301

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I agree, your life sucks 45 246

You deserved it 5 046

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I agree, your life sucks 834

You deserved it 205