Miscellaneous: Today, I woke up soaked in water. It seems at some point in the... - FML

By Olorin - 07/11/2011 20:49 - Germany

Today, I woke up soaked in water. It seems at some point in the middle of the night, I woke up thirsty and opened the water bottle I keep on my nightstand. I managed to drink a little, but it seems I didn't manage to put the cap back on before losing consciousness again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 862

You deserved it 5 782

Thanksgiving: Turkeys and Skids
Family meals that turn absurd, because Thanksgiving is also about laughing at little disasters. More…

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 10/01/2011 19:14 - United States

Today, I was drinking a bottle of water. My friend came up from behind and scared me, causing me to inhale and choke on the water. Lacking air, I passed out. I awoke to him on the ground laughing his ass off. I almost drowned drinking a bottle of water. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 337

You deserved it 4 365

Freaky...

By shinra - 18/07/2018 20:30

Today, it's the third time in a row that I've woken myself up in the middle of the night by pouring freezing cold water on myself. I didn’t even have water on my nightstand last night. I woke up in the kitchen. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 470

You deserved it 300

By KitchenFlooder - 01/02/2018 01:30

Today, I flooded my entire kitchen. The water was cut off at night and I left the faucet open without realizing. When the sound woke me up at 5am, the water reached my ankles. I frantically tried to sweep it out before my mother woke up at 6am. I didn't make it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 537

You deserved it 1 857

By tarheels526 - 08/02/2009 00:53 - United States

Today, the alarm on my phone went off. I picked it up, hit snooze, and dropped it back on my desk without looking. I woke up an hour later to find that I had dropped it directly in a full glass of water. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 624

You deserved it 27 469

Fragile

By lithium-dreams - 16/07/2022 22:00

Today, I attempted to open a water bottle. My hand started bleeding before I was able to get the cap loose. FML

I agree, your life sucks 724

You deserved it 159

By Anonymous - 28/08/2019 00:01 - Australia - Darwin

Today, I woke up in the shower at my coworker's house, with my clothes on and soaking wet. Apparently, the night before I drank too much and punched my best friend. The sad part is, I passed out on the couch, but somehow ended up in the shower, facing the wrong way. FML

I agree, your life sucks 569

You deserved it 1 892

By lordtimbit - 15/03/2015 15:01 - Canada - Calgary

Today, I fell in the shower and knocked myself out. When I came to I turned off the water and called my mom. She seemed more worried about the amount of water I "wasted" than she was about me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 711

You deserved it 3 116

Morning pick-me-up

By Anonymous - 30/01/2011 05:05 - United States

Today, upon waking up, I took a sip on what I thought was a cup of water on my nightstand. I quickly discovered it was my roommate's cup of used mouthwash which she was too lazy to throw out the night before. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 965

You deserved it 8 665

Hair of the dog

By shartface12 - 06/06/2014 22:01 - United States - San Jose

Today, after a big house party the night before, I woke up with a dry mouth and a pounding hangover. I took a swig from a cup I'd left on my bedside table the night before, thinking it was water. Nope; it was vodka. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 972

You deserved it 43 645

Blackout

By Anonymous - 16/01/2023 22:00

Today, I blacked out at work, on my lunch break outside in the rain, and woke up on the ground wet a minute or two later to everyone freaking out, all because I chugged my drink too fast. FML

I agree, your life sucks 413

You deserved it 613

Next

Top comments

txgirl09 5

Monday 7 November 2011 23:36

OP must have been exceptionally tired to not wake up from having water spill all over him. Poor guy. :/

cj7geojeep 0

Tuesday 8 November 2011 1:43

You must be a really heavy sleeper to not wake up after getting drenched in boiling hot water, OP :P

Comments

falloutboylove7 0

Tuesday 8 November 2011 1:46

better then peeing in your bed

TessyToes 0

Tuesday 8 November 2011 1:50

I have done that before. It totally sucks. I'm sorry.

la13_fml 0

Tuesday 8 November 2011 1:53

At least it wasnt pee

pleasebitch_fml 0

Tuesday 8 November 2011 2:02

Ive done that multiple times...(:

UrCapsLockOn 12

Tuesday 8 November 2011 2:25

been there ..

ShyAnn29 14

Tuesday 8 November 2011 8:58

..done that

Sweetcupcakes123 6

Tuesday 8 November 2011 2:41

Omg I did this last night!

emobitch16 4

Tuesday 8 November 2011 3:15

That has happened to me before .

Lizabeth20 5

Tuesday 8 November 2011 3:24

that sucks..

key03x18 0

Tuesday 8 November 2011 3:27

Fail!

trinitygrace2013 1

Tuesday 8 November 2011 3:30

I've done the same thing!!

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The Top

Today, two weeks after giving my daughter-in-law a severe scolding for forcing my son to do chores and babysit the kids on his days off, I went to visit them and found out that they'd changed the locks, so my key no longer works. FML

I agree, your life sucks 63

You deserved it 1 749

Today, my 4 year-old daughter was looking at a magazine cover with a well endowed model showing off her cleavage. She looked at me and said, "Mommy, when I grow up, will I have big round boobies like her or tiny pointy ones like you?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 556

You deserved it 4 813

The Top

Today, my teacher's comments on my essay read, "I know it's college, but you use a lot of unnecessary words with a lot of syllables." He basically scolded me for having a complex vocabulary. I go to an accredited state university. Nothing says "America" like under-achieving professors. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 312

You deserved it 8 340

Today, I took my 4-year-old son to the bank with me. He asked why we were going, and I explained that I had a couple of checks that they would turn into money. When we got in line, he loudly exclaimed that "Mommy has checks for money!" Except "checks" sounded almost exactly like "sex". FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 651

You deserved it 4 577

Today, I found out that being the "bull" of a cuckold relationship is not as good as it looks to be. She is pregnant and now the couple, despite earning triple figures, is suing me for child support. I'm in college. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 995

You deserved it 4 154

Today, my boss agreed to a 20% pay rise, in exchange for adding a list of new responsibilities to my job description that will effectively double my workload, which he expects to be carried out in the same 8 hour workday, and not on overtime either. My boss is my dad and I hate him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 505

You deserved it 170

Today, while I was at work at a nursing home I was attempting to dress a woman for bed. She popped me a left hook and I had to ask the nurse to look at my jaw. After my nurse said I was okay she asked me to continue getting the woman dressed for bed. She hit me 5 more times. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 562

You deserved it 2 624

Today, I was in the "getting to know you" phase of dating a guy I recently met. We were talking about our families and I mentioned my dad died when I was young. He blurted out, “So, we get to have some of that kinky daddy issue sex then, huh?” I’m not sure if he was joking or not but still… FML

I agree, your life sucks 494

You deserved it 113