Miscellaneous: Today, I woke up to a burglar holding a gun. He yelled at me... - FML

By mike oxsmall - 16/06/2011 05:42 - United States

Today, I woke up to a burglar holding a gun. He yelled at me to get up so I did. He then paused and laughed. I was sleeping naked. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 052

You deserved it 6 557

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Same thing different taste

By Hunterxx - 07/08/2010 05:21 - United States

Today, my husband thought it'd be funny to trigger the alarm in the house while I was sleeping. Shocked, I ran outside naked. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 761

You deserved it 7 236

By hellphone_fml - 01/07/2019 20:00

Today, someone knocked on my door. I yelled "Yeah?" while getting up, since it was locked. My grandpa walked in, as I apparently didn't actually lock it. I was naked. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 379

You deserved it 659

Caught

By Anonymous - 25/10/2015 02:47 - United States - Apollo

Today, I woke up to noises in my living room. I was scared, but I loaded my gun and snuck downstairs. I burst into the living room, yelled for the motherfucker robbing me to put his hands up, and flicked on the light. My cat stared back at me like I was a moron then calmly walked out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 617

You deserved it 7 924

By DarkDolly - 04/02/2012 16:39 - France

Today, at around 2am, I was walking through a parking lot to my car when a man walking behind me told me not to be scared. I turned around to tell him there was no problem. He was naked. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 038

You deserved it 3 173

By 123roomielover - 26/01/2011 17:40 - United States

Today, I woke up to my new roommate staring at me, just a few inches from my face. She then told me how easy I would be to kill in my sleep. Then she stood up, naked from head to toe. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 567

You deserved it 3 740

By Anonymous - 10/04/2011 06:05 - United States

Today, a stoned man tried to break into my house. Naked. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 301

You deserved it 4 524

Single shot

By irulan - 14/01/2020 03:00 - United Kingdom - London

Today, I farted so loudly in bed and I woke up my husband. Startled, he thought that someone was entered in our room and fired a shot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 540

You deserved it 599

By Noname - 13/03/2009 03:42 - United States

Today, I woke up to find my car broken into. After being upset for not hearing my car alarm go off I realized it had in the middle of the night. I had woken up and cursed the idiot who set off their alarm and put a pillow over my head, falling back to sleep shortly after. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 784

You deserved it 54 240

Sneaky

By TasedAndDazed - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I snuck into my boyfriend's house because I knew his parents wouldn't be there. Later, I woke up in a hospital bed because his sister thought I was a burglar and tased me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 619

You deserved it 43 665

By BedazzledAlpaca - 08/12/2014 05:03 - United States - Englewood

Today, I fell asleep on the couch and woke up to find that I had slept through my house getting robbed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 856

You deserved it 4 309

Next

Top comments

ThatFatGuyBehind 3

Thursday 16 June 2011 12:05

How small was it for him to be laughing during a burgalery.

hellogoodbye1996 6

Thursday 16 June 2011 12:05

did he tell you to put clothes on?

Comments

soiheardyoufaile 4

Thursday 16 June 2011 13:07

I'm guessing your manly gun didn't suffice in this situation?

TheMonica 0

Thursday 16 June 2011 13:12

Not only did he rob your house, he also robbed you of your dignity!

SuperCassie 0

Thursday 16 June 2011 13:18

saved by being commando!

JRFaceless 8

Thursday 16 June 2011 13:25

Hahaa wow

quade25 0

Thursday 16 June 2011 13:40

atleast he dident rape you

stormchaser24 24

Thursday 16 June 2011 13:42

wow that sucks. so he didn't steal anything because he felt sorry for you. jk. FYL. but how did you post this?

LizzJizz 16

Thursday 16 June 2011 13:43

Aw, sleeping nakeds the best! Poor guy....he was prob laughing at your morning woody n_n

badgebunny 3

Thursday 16 June 2011 13:48

it would be called a ROBBER if u were home.. a burglar if I'd not. learn ur facts before u post lies

ImaWiseGuy 5

Thursday 16 June 2011 13:54

well at least the robber had a sense of humor, that has to be better then being robbed by a monotone d bag....

Trybow 0

Thursday 16 June 2011 13:58

Be glad he wasnt a rapist.

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The Top

Today, my nosey louse of a coworker went to HR and told them I was snorting drugs at my desk. I was using nasal saline, as the dry winter weather wreaks havoc on my sinuses. The fact that they even brought me in pisses me off beyond words. FML

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You deserved it 78

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I agree, your life sucks 31 118

You deserved it 3 104

The Top

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You deserved it 889

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I agree, your life sucks 28 975

You deserved it 2 334

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I agree, your life sucks 9 297

You deserved it 26 896

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I agree, your life sucks 22 358

You deserved it 15 153

Today, one of my employees was fired for refusing to do a basic job necessity. After the meeting with HR, he left the office and tried to go back to work. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 709

You deserved it 171

Today, I was denied an animal adoption because I said "babies" instead of "kittens". Apparently that means I'm not serious about pet ownership. What?! FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 061

You deserved it 407