Animals: Today, I woke up to an early Christmas present on my car. It...

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By Anonymous - 13/12/2010 02:36 - United States

Today, I woke up to an early Christmas present on my car. It was a nicely wrapped box containing a dead bird, a half eaten sandwich, and a note reading "MERRY F**KING CHRISTMAS STAN." This will probably be my only Christmas present. My name is Luke. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 059

You deserved it 2 450

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Same thing different taste

By Cinderstar95 - 28/12/2016 09:34 - United States - Schererville

Today, my dad and brother found a Christmas present that they'd "forgotten" to give me. Expecting a joke, I apprehensively opened it. But I still wasn't prepared to unwrap the neck of the Christmas turkey. It had been rotting in the living room for 2 days. The smell was indescribable. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 353

You deserved it 440

By Sophies - 26/12/2013 00:45 - United Kingdom - Bristol

Today, I woke up on Christmas morning to find that a large cock and balls had been keyed into the windscreen of my car. My new, two-week-old car, which I will be paying off for the next four years. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 667

You deserved it 3 135

By lebato97 - 09/12/2011 03:35 - United States

Today, I saw my neighbor's Christmas tree they had put up on their porch, with decorative presents under it. Being that my neighbors hate me, I figured I would take a present to piss them off. While walking back home with the present, I opened it. Inside it read "I knew you would, douche bag." FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 663

You deserved it 80 913

By TodX - 27/12/2008 08:23 - France

Today, I used my Christmas holiday time to open up a load of old letters. There were a lot of bills, of course, but there was also a note telling me that I'm due for a tax inspection. Merry F*ing Christmas! FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 764

You deserved it 5 823

By CambodianAsshole - 25/12/2012 06:41 - United States - Placentia

Today, I opened my Christmas present from my parents. I got a road-side assistance package. I don't own a vehicle, and I don't even have a driver's license. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 491

You deserved it 3 575

Alexa, play the Christmas album by Low

By Anonymous - 20/12/2022 03:00

Today, to try to have a less depressing Christmas, I've put up a small tree in my apartment and wrapped some presents for myself. I woke from a nap to the sound of my cat vomiting. What did she throw up on? The presents. FML

I agree, your life sucks 887

You deserved it 196

By Julie - 25/12/2012 03:20 - United States - East Brunswick

Today, I woke up to find our Christmas tree knocked over, unwrapped presents scattered everywhere, and my mom passed out on the sofa with a bottle of booze. Merry Christmas. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 212

You deserved it 2 792

By ~JESSICA~ - 11/09/2010 06:19 - United States

Today, I woke up late to an urgent voicemail from my dad telling me he left me a present in my car. Excited, I went to investigate. I then saw that his "surprise" was fresh fish he had caught. I hate fish, and now my car stinks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 907

You deserved it 3 607

By CalebNotShomo - 25/12/2014 15:25 - United States - Houston

Today, my boss sent me a text message saying, "You're fired. Merry Christmas!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 382

You deserved it 2 830

By lex31 - 14/02/2012 13:24 - United States

Today, I received my first Valentine's day present ever: a dead mouse from my cat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 091

You deserved it 3 766

supraz21 0

Monday 13 December 2010 9:20

thats messed up that guy has issues

starfuryt550 3

Monday 13 December 2010 17:06

are you retarded?

Comments

paras0mnia 3

Monday 13 December 2010 14:03

at least you got a present, you should have waited until Christmas morning to open it you ungrateful swine! (sarcasm)

quite_bored 9

Tuesday 14 December 2010 0:57

It ruins it when you put sarcasm in parentheses.(serious)

paras0mnia 3

Monday 13 December 2010 14:07

at least you got a present! you should have waited until Christmas morning to open it, you ungrateful swine! (sarcasm)

katkev 5

Monday 13 December 2010 14:21

Lol win

margaretdavenpor 3

Monday 13 December 2010 15:03

That is just stupid why would you even tell people about that!!

ameliabeth09 0

Monday 13 December 2010 15:24

What kinda sandwich.. Lol

123e3 0

Monday 13 December 2010 15:28

I have a little brother named Luke O.o

3secondstolaunch 0

Monday 13 December 2010 15:47

Yeah, FYL. But hey, MERRY CHRISTMAS! Stan.

starfuryt550 3

Monday 13 December 2010 17:07

epic haha

SLWatcher_fml 1

Monday 13 December 2010 18:34

No no.... We changed your name to Stan while you slept, now get over it and enjoy the sammich.

notsofriendly 17

Monday 13 December 2010 18:49

unfortunate, but very funny

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Keywords

Health Relatable Periods Money Transportation Cars Animals Cats Embarrassing Neighbours Miscellaneous Kids Parenting Ironic Birthday Love Surprise Cute Awkward Shopping Exhausted Work Job interview Scary Argument Romantic Family Annoying Gross Weird

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You deserved it 81 128

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You deserved it 188

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I agree, your life sucks 10 871

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Same thing different taste

Alexa, play the Christmas album by Low

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