Miscellaneous: Today, I woke up to an unfamiliar male face right beside mine....

By Anonymous - 27/12/2009 03:09 - Canada

Today, I woke up to an unfamiliar male face right beside mine. I flipped out fell of my 4 foot raised bed and got a concussion. Who, you may ask, was in my bed? My Robert Pattinson pillowcase. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 518

You deserved it 71 425

November 11: Memories and smiles
Historical anecdotes with a light touch to commemorate with a respectful smile. More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 20/10/2016 13:17 - United Kingdom - Maidstone

Today, I woke up to find my face covered in scratches, some of them bleeding. I was rather puzzled, as I don't have a cat. Then I realised that the feathers in my pillow had stuck out and scratched my face. I was attacked by my own pillow. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 348

You deserved it 1 144

By imawesomeokay - 20/07/2013 05:53 - Mexico - Zapopan

Today, I went to watch a movie. In the middle of it, I accidentally fell asleep. Minutes later, I awoke on a stranger's shoulder. He was caressing my hair. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 243

You deserved it 10 962

Panic!

By sweetdreams - 18/09/2016 06:39 - United States - New York

Today, I woke up suddenly with giant bugs biting my legs. I screamed, ripped the blanket off the bed and bolted to the bathroom to recover. Turns out it was all a dream, and the person who needed to recover most was my shell-shocked boyfriend who had been sleeping soundly beside me. Sorry, babe. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 780

You deserved it 1 408

By breeeeeh - 21/06/2013 22:18 - France - Brou-sur-chantereine

Today, I woke up to a stranger in my bed. Just as my parents responded to my screaming, I remembered that I'd helped my boyfriend sneak in through my window last night. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 681

You deserved it 69 955

By girlymae - 27/02/2013 07:59 - Canada - Winnipeg

Today, I was in bed when I rolled over and saw a hand right beside my head. I freaked out and nearly peed myself, just to realize that it was the huggable heart pillow my boyfriend had given to me on Valentine's Day. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 460

You deserved it 24 030

By Anonymous - 24/08/2016 14:26

Today, I woke up to my husband's face. That'd be nice if he hadn't turned his eyelids inside out, waiting to scare me. I was scared alright. So scared that I pissed myself and broke my side table falling out of bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 288

You deserved it 1 462

By Secretlypossessed - 29/10/2018 03:00

Today, I was awoken to a punch in the face. My boyfriend said I was giggling in my sleep and he thought I was possessed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 974

You deserved it 293

By SoVeryMonday - 30/11/2009 18:01 - Canada

Today, we rearranged the bedroom and my boyfriend and I switched sides of the bed. When the alarm went off, he got confused as to which side the clock was on. Instead of hitting the snooze button like he normally does, he hit me in the face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 158

You deserved it 9 525

Didn't see ya there

By AylaMarie92 - 09/11/2021 13:59

Today, like every other day, I suffer from insomnia. On returning to the bedroom after a very late night shower to hopefully get some rest, I sat on my cat. I jumped up quickly and smacked my face against the cupboard. I then looked back to see if she was OK. I'd sat on my Squishmallow. FML

I agree, your life sucks 928

You deserved it 337

By Anonymous - 03/01/2010 16:35 - United States

Today, I was lying in bed, staring at the ceiling with the lights off. It was 1AM, and I'd just finished watching a scary movie, so I was a little paranoid. I was about to fall asleep, when an eerie light lit the room. I jumped, got tangled in the sheets, and hit my head against the bed frame. Where'd the light come from? Not a space ship. Not someone breaking in. It was my phone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 561

You deserved it 29 184

caancoha 0

Sunday 27 December 2009 9:06

Oh, look. He's watching you sleep.

IMB916 0

Sunday 27 December 2009 9:16

YDI for having such bad taste in men.

Comments

caancoha 0

Sunday 27 December 2009 9:06

Oh, look. He's watching you sleep.

themixedt4pe 0

Sunday 27 December 2009 18:01

This.

harsan_09 1

Monday 28 December 2009 7:18

WIN.

gigi_bella 0

Wednesday 17 March 2010 23:48

Double win.

xXCrazyPersonXx 0

Sunday 8 August 2010 0:47

Triple Win. o3o

iampunk 0

Friday 12 November 2010 4:22

C-C-Combo breaker!

hyrulequeen2010 0

Sunday 8 April 2012 5:36

That's what you get for being a twilight fan

Comoke1024 19

Tuesday 11 February 2014 0:54

stealin' yo kids.

kooldrew3 0

Sunday 27 December 2009 9:08

wtf

doorbellgirl 0

Sunday 27 December 2009 9:09

YDI Taylor Lautner is ten hundred thousand times SEXIER

stephanieeDawnx 0

Sunday 30 October 2011 15:39

That's true, but I would say she deserves it.

CrazyV 22

Sunday 20 November 2011 1:02

cant believe people buried this comment... twilight fans get a life

splatterband6487 4

Tuesday 13 November 2012 4:53

I do have a life. Obviously I love edward

Deezie 0

Sunday 27 December 2009 9:10

lmao! thats too funny!

alicealice_fml 3

Sunday 27 December 2009 9:10

I love robert pattinson its okthings happen like that all the time

zuli_fml 0

Thursday 31 December 2009 22:02

Only if you're ******* retarded.

whatthe_efff 0

Saturday 2 January 2010 4:03

Hahaha, things like this happen all the time? What the hell are you doing? I just about laughed as hard about this as I did about the FML.

mycheese 0

Monday 26 March 2012 7:42

Wtf who actually likes Robert pattison (btw I knowi spelled it wrong but who cares) he's a ugly stalker

Palirose 22

Thursday 28 November 2013 3:34

#291, You're absolutely retarded. He's acting a role for a fictional character which made him a lot of money. He isnt actually a stalker you nit wit.

daydreamstar 7

Sunday 27 December 2009 9:11

soooo. was it good??? did he make you shiver with his icicle... he watches you in your sleep to make sure you dont leave ..lolol well. at least it wasnt spongebob and thankfully edward/robert dosent sing....mlia..