Miscellaneous: Today, I woke up to an unfamiliar male face right beside mine....

By Anonymous - 27/12/2009 03:09 - Canada

Today, I woke up to an unfamiliar male face right beside mine. I flipped out fell of my 4 foot raised bed and got a concussion. Who, you may ask, was in my bed? My Robert Pattinson pillowcase. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 518

You deserved it 71 425

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 20/10/2016 13:17 - United Kingdom - Maidstone

Today, I woke up to find my face covered in scratches, some of them bleeding. I was rather puzzled, as I don't have a cat. Then I realised that the feathers in my pillow had stuck out and scratched my face. I was attacked by my own pillow. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 348

You deserved it 1 144

By imawesomeokay - 20/07/2013 05:53 - Mexico - Zapopan

Today, I went to watch a movie. In the middle of it, I accidentally fell asleep. Minutes later, I awoke on a stranger's shoulder. He was caressing my hair. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 243

You deserved it 10 962

Panic!

By sweetdreams - 18/09/2016 06:39 - United States - New York

Today, I woke up suddenly with giant bugs biting my legs. I screamed, ripped the blanket off the bed and bolted to the bathroom to recover. Turns out it was all a dream, and the person who needed to recover most was my shell-shocked boyfriend who had been sleeping soundly beside me. Sorry, babe. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 780

You deserved it 1 408

By breeeeeh - 21/06/2013 22:18 - France - Brou-sur-chantereine

Today, I woke up to a stranger in my bed. Just as my parents responded to my screaming, I remembered that I'd helped my boyfriend sneak in through my window last night. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 681

You deserved it 69 955

By girlymae - 27/02/2013 07:59 - Canada - Winnipeg

Today, I was in bed when I rolled over and saw a hand right beside my head. I freaked out and nearly peed myself, just to realize that it was the huggable heart pillow my boyfriend had given to me on Valentine's Day. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 460

You deserved it 24 030

By Anonymous - 24/08/2016 14:26

Today, I woke up to my husband's face. That'd be nice if he hadn't turned his eyelids inside out, waiting to scare me. I was scared alright. So scared that I pissed myself and broke my side table falling out of bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 288

You deserved it 1 462

By Secretlypossessed - 29/10/2018 03:00

Today, I was awoken to a punch in the face. My boyfriend said I was giggling in my sleep and he thought I was possessed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 974

You deserved it 293

By SoVeryMonday - 30/11/2009 18:01 - Canada

Today, we rearranged the bedroom and my boyfriend and I switched sides of the bed. When the alarm went off, he got confused as to which side the clock was on. Instead of hitting the snooze button like he normally does, he hit me in the face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 158

You deserved it 9 525

Didn't see ya there

By AylaMarie92 - 09/11/2021 13:59

Today, like every other day, I suffer from insomnia. On returning to the bedroom after a very late night shower to hopefully get some rest, I sat on my cat. I jumped up quickly and smacked my face against the cupboard. I then looked back to see if she was OK. I'd sat on my Squishmallow. FML

I agree, your life sucks 928

You deserved it 337

By Anonymous - 03/01/2010 16:35 - United States

Today, I was lying in bed, staring at the ceiling with the lights off. It was 1AM, and I'd just finished watching a scary movie, so I was a little paranoid. I was about to fall asleep, when an eerie light lit the room. I jumped, got tangled in the sheets, and hit my head against the bed frame. Where'd the light come from? Not a space ship. Not someone breaking in. It was my phone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 561

You deserved it 29 184

caancoha 0

Sunday 27 December 2009 9:06

Oh, look. He's watching you sleep.

IMB916 0

Sunday 27 December 2009 9:16

YDI for having such bad taste in men.

Comments

ImaCharginMahLaz 0

Sunday 27 December 2009 10:49

Today, I Stubbed my toe. it hurt so bad that it made me start chargin-mah-lazah...oh I cried lika dis too =,(.When I was done, a turd hita me in da eyez and it looka sorta like dis ting . Yeah...it had a very durty face on it. By the way, I needed I band aid for my toe.

ImaCharginMahLaz 0

Sunday 27 December 2009 10:55

I forgot da FML. :)

jaysaysss 0

Sunday 27 December 2009 10:55

ayyo rob patt imma let chyu finish but taylor laurtner is way hotter and lion king had one of the best pillow cases if all time.

shaaayyee 0

Wednesday 23 February 2011 0:41

...chyu...?

lightningthunder 0

Sunday 27 December 2009 10:58

Robert Pattinson is watching someone sleep. That's not new.

thisismylifetoda 0

Sunday 27 December 2009 11:52

Excellent!

RabidSumomo 0

Sunday 27 December 2009 11:00

YDI for having a Robert Pattinson pillowcase in the first place. Effing gross.

ImaCharginMahLaz 0

Sunday 27 December 2009 11:05

  READ COMMENTS 52-53   

iAndrea 0

Sunday 27 December 2009 11:07

YDI for having a RPatz pillow. Haha, jk. I used to love him, but now...no, just no. He's okay, but uh, Taylor is sort of beautiful. ;) Twilight haters: please do the world a favor and keep your opinions to yourself. AKA; shut up.

Shadic 0

Sunday 27 December 2009 12:53

Keep your shitty tween entertainment out of pop-culture and nobody would complain about it.

ImaCharginMahLaz 0

Sunday 27 December 2009 11:11

Let me fix that up...    READ COMMENTS 52-53   

ImaCharginMahLaz 0

Sunday 27 December 2009 11:16

nvm just read this... Today, I Stubbed my toe. it hurt so bad that it made me start chargin-mah-lazah...oh I cried lika dis too =,(.When I was done, a turd hita me in da eyez and it looka sorta like dis ting . Yeah...it had a very durty face on it. By the way, I needed I band aid for my toe.