Animals: Today, I woke up to find my best friend lying down and unresponsive....

By Anonymous - 10/12/2012 22:40 - Sweden - V?ster

Today, I woke up to find my best friend lying down and unresponsive. Frightened, I tapped on the glass. He got scared and started swimming again. My best friend is a fish. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 592

You deserved it 7 209

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Same thing different taste

By killer - 16/05/2009 12:21 - Latvia

Today, I went to see a fortune teller. She said one of my closest friends will die soon because of me. Frightened I hurried home to avoid meeting anyone I know. At home I found my goldfish floating on its back. Apparently I forgot to feed my closest friend for the past 3 days. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 795

You deserved it 60 004

Not woke

By Anonymous - 15/08/2024 22:00 - United States

Today, I was woken up by my phone alarm blaring at full volume. I grabbed it to hit snooze, but in my half-asleep state, I accidentally threw it across the room. It hit the wall, bounced off, and landed in my fish tank. My fish is fine. My phone is not. FML

I agree, your life sucks 106

You deserved it 541

By dukebluedevils13 - 05/08/2011 01:47 - United States

Today, my 5 year old fish died. As I was flushing him, he started swimming again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 265

You deserved it 8 146

Murdered

By Anonymous - 16/02/2021 20:01

Today, I woke up and checked my fish tank. I thought the temperature was too low, so half asleep, I turned it up. Now all my fish are dead. FML

I agree, your life sucks 404

You deserved it 1 030

By babydoll13211 - 04/09/2009 21:36 - United States

Today, I was at a friend's pool party. He lives on a lake and one of our friends wouldn't get in the water. My best friend and I decided to push him off the dock. Once we had, I turned to see my crush who had watched looked shocked, then said, "You know he can't swim right?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 318

You deserved it 66 309

By Sassers - 03/12/2009 21:08 - United States

Today, I heard a loud crashing noise. I ran into the kitchen to see what it was. My cat had knocked over my fish bowl and had my Beta in her mouth. After scolding her and rescuing it, I decided to clean its bowl. When I went to dump some of the water in the sink, my fish went down the drain. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 853

You deserved it 35 020

By That idiot - 28/08/2014 02:33 - United States - Las Vegas

Today, I won a goldfish at the amusement park. My little brother took him out of the bowl because he thought he was drowning. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 407

You deserved it 3 625

By Angel - 22/06/2015 02:16 - United States - Utica

Today, while swimming under water, my 80-pound lab thought I was drowning and tried to "rescue" me by jumping in after me, wrapping his front legs around my neck, and standing on my chest. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 166

You deserved it 2 168

By Anonymous - 16/08/2010 23:05 - United States

Today, I came home to a dead fish duct-taped to the wall of my dorm room. I can't reach it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 139

You deserved it 3 957

Baywatch music starts

By Anonymous - 01/05/2019 12:00

Today, I nearly drowned. I was at a wave pool for the first time and stupidly swam out to the deep end. When the waves turned on, I discovered I can't swim in rough water. Despite my yelling, "Help!" and flailing around, the lifeguard paid me no attention. My friend had to save me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 069

You deserved it 622

datgamerchick 14

Tuesday 11 December 2012 0:56

The snack that smiles back.

XxAnnie23xX 15

Tuesday 11 December 2012 0:55

That's not bad, alot of people consider their bestfriends to be pets C:

Comments

TopBanana20 11

Tuesday 11 December 2012 3:47

[reciting] I am a nice shark, not a mindless eating machine. If I am to change this image, I must first change myself. Fish are friends, not food.

morgiepuff 14

Tuesday 11 December 2012 4:14

Have you guys seen my sister Flo?!

Ilikeike 4

Tuesday 11 December 2012 4:47

I really like this.

pradip 26

Tuesday 11 December 2012 5:24

This is one of the sweetest FML, filled with suspense and fun

SierraaaNicoleee 26

Tuesday 11 December 2012 5:35

P. Sherman 42 Wallaby Way Sydney.

you_failed 15

Tuesday 11 December 2012 5:48

Mine, mine, mine, mine, mine!

feroxletum 6

Tuesday 11 December 2012 5:52

Sounds kinda fishy to me

panda_lou 11

Tuesday 11 December 2012 6:28

They are great listeners. . .

JoeRogansBEARD 15

Tuesday 11 December 2012 7:07

HERE'S BRUCIE!!!

simoncat 11

Tuesday 11 December 2012 7:14

High fin. He was alive.

Keywords

Love Embarrassing Poopoo peepee Miscellaneous Christmas Romantic Break-ups Money Annoying Gross Ironic Argument Friends Awkward Cute Haircut Holidays Lonely Relatable Work Bosses Capitalism You're fired Cars Covid Health Jealousy Cheating Parenting Kids

The Top

Today, I fulfilled my lifelong dream of going on a family trip to Disneyland. Less than two hours in the park, my kids have been scared shitless by every single character, they don’t want to ride any rides, my husband is drunk, and the mouse ears headband gave me a vomit-inducing migraine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 151

You deserved it 361

Today, my boyfriend came over to have dinner with my family. Everything went well until my mum started hitting the brandy. While kicked back in her chair, she asked my boyfriend how satisfactory I was in bed, and if he enjoyed going down on me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 279

You deserved it 3 577

The Top

Today, I was at a bus stop making small talk with a really nice girl, when all of a sudden some kids let off firecrackers behind me. I shrieked like a little girl and practically jumped into her lap. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 439

You deserved it 4 877

Today, my boss wrote me up for saying "pissed" in front of a client. This is the same boss who nearly pissed himself laughing when a client made an extremely off-color Holocaust joke a few weeks ago, in front of half the department. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 231

You deserved it 1 525

Today, I finally told my boyfriend that I’ve been dealing with depression, and apologized for my bad moods. I wrote him three kinda long-story-short messages telling him why. His response? “It’s alright” and continued playing Raft. I expected something more… empathic? Am I selfish? FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 085

You deserved it 389

Today, my girlfriend slapped me and dumped me because she thought I was gay, simply because I had to miss a date because one of my guy friends was in a car accident, and I went to see him at the hospital. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 205

You deserved it 133

Today, I got pulled over by a cop car. As I was fumbling for my license and registration, I handed the officer a half-empty bag of Doritos I’d forgotten was in my glove box. He thought I was trying to bribe him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 176

You deserved it 298

Today, my wife complained that the coffee grounds I swept into the sink grossed her out. Yesterday, I removed several panty-liners from her soiled underwear before doing the laundry. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 157

You deserved it 3 009

Same thing different taste

Not woke

Murdered

*Baywatch music starts*

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