Miscellaneous: Today, I woke up to my creepy new roommate licking my cheek.... - FML

By D: - 06/10/2013 17:13 - France - Paris

Today, I woke up to my creepy new roommate licking my cheek. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 408

You deserved it 3 899

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Same thing different taste

By 123roomielover - 26/01/2011 17:40 - United States

Today, I woke up to my new roommate staring at me, just a few inches from my face. She then told me how easy I would be to kill in my sleep. Then she stood up, naked from head to toe. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 562

You deserved it 3 740

Creepy roommates #56

By Anonymous - 16/09/2021 23:00

Today, I awoke to a strange feeling on my feet. It felt like a tongue, so at first thought it was the dog, but we don't have one. I looked down and it was my roommate. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 259

You deserved it 84

By mac - 27/01/2014 14:40 - Australia - Bankstown

Today, my roommate showed me a video of a cockroach crawling all over my face while I was asleep in the lounge. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 427

You deserved it 4 377

By Anonymous - 07/01/2014 21:24 - United States

Today, I woke up to my psycho roommate trying to baptize me in my sleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 362

You deserved it 5 211

By Roommate - 28/09/2016 16:03 - United States - Olympia

Today, my new roommate sent me a picture of our toothbrushes bristles touching with the caption "Look! I made them kiss!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 101

You deserved it 937

Leftovers

By Anonymous - 16/09/2024 09:00 - United States

Today, I woke up to my cat licking my face. Cute, right? Turns out, she was licking the crumbs off my cheek from last night's pizza party. FML

I agree, your life sucks 62

You deserved it 484

By Anonymous - 10/11/2010 16:32 - Argentina

Today, I woke up to find my new roommate staring straight at me. She then went on to say, "I love how you sleep," and continued to stare. I live in a residence off campus and I've already changed roommates twice this year. I'm stuck with a person who stares at me sleep for the next two years. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 458

You deserved it 3 906

By burritobreasts - 15/10/2014 06:27

Today, I woke up to my roommate trying to put a burrito and a pack of mild sauce in between my boobs. He's only lived here for two weeks, and this is the second time I've woken up to him doing something like this. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 147

You deserved it 5 317

By floggingnasty - 13/02/2011 11:38 - United States

Today, I got a new roommate in the dorms. When I got back to my room, I could smell her feet before I even opened my door. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 846

You deserved it 2 837

By gold3nshow3r - 09/03/2017 20:00 - United States - Roanoke

Today, I woke up to a strange wetness covering my body. My drunk roommate's urine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 572

You deserved it 436

Next

Top comments

ewmoldycheese 14

Monday 7 October 2013 2:37

The real question is which cheek?

MsConfusedd 27

Monday 7 October 2013 2:41

I bet you've always wanted a dog!

Comments

TheAngryPrincess 3

Monday 7 October 2013 22:51

I would have slapped them. Freak.

fmluknow 2

Monday 7 October 2013 23:08

Haha

jzoet1993 4

Tuesday 8 October 2013 0:00

Maybe they dropped some Nutella on you. Everyone knows you can't waste good Nutella. :) But anyways FYL OP.

MixMastaKDizzle 12

Tuesday 8 October 2013 0:58

uhhh wtf?! Time to move..

Stayin_Classy777 8

Tuesday 8 October 2013 1:49

The best way to deal with it is being a good Christian about it. Turn the other cheek too

candyycurnn 10

Tuesday 8 October 2013 4:30

TIme for a new room mate maybe?

WICKEDxANGEL 13

Tuesday 8 October 2013 5:18

great wake up call

tomgun_fml 16

Tuesday 8 October 2013 5:42

Maybe he's a "dog"

Vickyh46 8

Tuesday 8 October 2013 6:30

Haha, what the ****?

takenover 15

Tuesday 8 October 2013 9:10

Sooo, apparently the roommate didn't learn that it isn't okay to lick people. Is it wrong that I thought of the 10th Doctor from Doctor Who when I saw this FML? I couldn't help it. Mind you he likes to lick things not new roommate people.

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Keywords

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I agree, your life sucks 323

You deserved it 207

Today, after working for over a decade at the same place, I was formally written up with two days of leave without pay for refusing to work extra overtime. I've been working over 80 hours a week for four months now and even cancelled some very important plans so I could work every day. FML

I agree, your life sucks 482

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The Top

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I agree, your life sucks 12 875

You deserved it 919

Today, my grandpa told me that he and grandma had an open relationship, because, "it isn't satisfying to have sexuality with only one person your whole life.” According to grandma, he just cheated on her constantly and she couldn’t do anything to stop him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 104

You deserved it 146

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I agree, your life sucks 34 710

You deserved it 3 470

Today, I asked my family not to disturb me while I slept, as I had hit over 72 hours of insomnia. My family must have heard me say, “Come in every 20 minutes and wake me up with whatever banal shit you can think of.” I gave up when my mother-in-law decided to enter my room and start vacuuming the floor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 428

You deserved it 113

Today, my boyfriend gave me a long, philosophical explanation about how he doesn't love me, but we should still have sex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 850

You deserved it 3 868

Today, I dreamed that I met this beautiful girl at a restaurant and we ended up having lunch together. Everything was going perfect until the end when I tried to get her number and she wouldn't give it to me. I can't even get a girl in my dreams. FML

I agree, your life sucks 58 590

You deserved it 6 616