Miscellaneous: Today, I woke up to my creepy new roommate licking my cheek.... - FML

By D: - 06/10/2013 17:13 - France - Paris

Today, I woke up to my creepy new roommate licking my cheek. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 409

You deserved it 3 899

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Same thing different taste

By 123roomielover - 26/01/2011 17:40 - United States

Today, I woke up to my new roommate staring at me, just a few inches from my face. She then told me how easy I would be to kill in my sleep. Then she stood up, naked from head to toe. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 567

You deserved it 3 740

Creepy roommates #56

By Anonymous - 16/09/2021 23:00

Today, I awoke to a strange feeling on my feet. It felt like a tongue, so at first thought it was the dog, but we don't have one. I looked down and it was my roommate. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 260

You deserved it 86

By mac - 27/01/2014 14:40 - Australia - Bankstown

Today, my roommate showed me a video of a cockroach crawling all over my face while I was asleep in the lounge. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 430

You deserved it 4 377

By Anonymous - 07/01/2014 21:24 - United States

Today, I woke up to my psycho roommate trying to baptize me in my sleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 367

You deserved it 5 212

By Roommate - 28/09/2016 16:03 - United States - Olympia

Today, my new roommate sent me a picture of our toothbrushes bristles touching with the caption "Look! I made them kiss!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 105

You deserved it 937

Leftovers

By Anonymous - 16/09/2024 09:00 - United States

Today, I woke up to my cat licking my face. Cute, right? Turns out, she was licking the crumbs off my cheek from last night's pizza party. FML

I agree, your life sucks 67

You deserved it 499

By Anonymous - 10/11/2010 16:32 - Argentina

Today, I woke up to find my new roommate staring straight at me. She then went on to say, "I love how you sleep," and continued to stare. I live in a residence off campus and I've already changed roommates twice this year. I'm stuck with a person who stares at me sleep for the next two years. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 461

You deserved it 3 906

By burritobreasts - 15/10/2014 06:27

Today, I woke up to my roommate trying to put a burrito and a pack of mild sauce in between my boobs. He's only lived here for two weeks, and this is the second time I've woken up to him doing something like this. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 148

You deserved it 5 319

By floggingnasty - 13/02/2011 11:38 - United States

Today, I got a new roommate in the dorms. When I got back to my room, I could smell her feet before I even opened my door. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 847

You deserved it 2 837

By gold3nshow3r - 09/03/2017 20:00 - United States - Roanoke

Today, I woke up to a strange wetness covering my body. My drunk roommate's urine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 574

You deserved it 436

Next

Top comments

ewmoldycheese 14

Monday 7 October 2013 2:37

The real question is which cheek?

MsConfusedd 27

Monday 7 October 2013 2:41

I bet you've always wanted a dog!

Comments

TheAngryPrincess 3

Monday 7 October 2013 22:51

I would have slapped them. Freak.

fmluknow 2

Monday 7 October 2013 23:08

Haha

jzoet1993 4

Tuesday 8 October 2013 0:00

Maybe they dropped some Nutella on you. Everyone knows you can't waste good Nutella. :) But anyways FYL OP.

MixMastaKDizzle 12

Tuesday 8 October 2013 0:58

uhhh wtf?! Time to move..

Stayin_Classy777 8

Tuesday 8 October 2013 1:49

The best way to deal with it is being a good Christian about it. Turn the other cheek too

candyycurnn 10

Tuesday 8 October 2013 4:30

TIme for a new room mate maybe?

WICKEDxANGEL 13

Tuesday 8 October 2013 5:18

great wake up call

tomgun_fml 16

Tuesday 8 October 2013 5:42

Maybe he's a "dog"

Vickyh46 8

Tuesday 8 October 2013 6:30

Haha, what the ****?

takenover 15

Tuesday 8 October 2013 9:10

Sooo, apparently the roommate didn't learn that it isn't okay to lick people. Is it wrong that I thought of the 10th Doctor from Doctor Who when I saw this FML? I couldn't help it. Mind you he likes to lick things not new roommate people.

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I agree, your life sucks 420

You deserved it 117

Today, I learned the meaning behind the phrase, "Love you long time". It's from the movie Full Metal Jacket, when a hooker comes in and says, "Me so horny, me love you long time." I've been saying this to my parents and people at school, having no idea what it really means for over 2 weeks. FML

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You deserved it 22 715

The Top

Today, I went to sleep at 7am. I learned once that Indians used to drink tons of water before bed to force themselves awake so I did that in case my alarm (which I hooked up to my speakers) didn't work. The alarm worked, but the shock of the blasting sound made me pee my pants. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 133

You deserved it 3 157

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I agree, your life sucks 23 258

You deserved it 1 707

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I agree, your life sucks 66 273

You deserved it 7 011

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I agree, your life sucks 2 776

You deserved it 200

Today, I learned to check inside the oven before you preheat it. Sometimes children hide their pet rabbit in there. FML

I agree, your life sucks 74 639

You deserved it 10 027

Today, I went on a plane and was sitting next to a mom with her 12-year-oldish daughter. Apparently, they decided to have "The talk." On the plane, right next to me. I heard everything, and actually learned new things. I'm 35. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 327

You deserved it 6 682