Weird, Creepy and Miscellaneous: Today, I woke up to my friend stroking my face with the bottom...

By Anonymous - 13/05/2013 22:05 - United States - Kapolei

Today, I woke up to my friend stroking my face with the bottom of his foot and whispering, "Shh, you're okay." FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 726

You deserved it 4 401

Winter: Snow and Funny News
Snuggle up and laugh with our winter stories, where snow isn't the only thing sliding around! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

By ohfantastic - 25/01/2009 02:47 - United States

Today, I was sleeping with my boyfriend and woke up in his arms to hear him say "Mom, Mom." FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 696

You deserved it 2 378

Headshot!

By almyric - 02/10/2019 12:02

Today, I was giving my boyfriend a foot massage. I learned that his feet are ticklish when he kicked me in the face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 448

You deserved it 286

By imawesomeokay - 20/07/2013 05:53 - Mexico - Zapopan

Today, I went to watch a movie. In the middle of it, I accidentally fell asleep. Minutes later, I awoke on a stranger's shoulder. He was caressing my hair. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 243

You deserved it 10 962

By Anonymous - 13/10/2010 02:09 - United States

Today, I tried to put my friend's hand in lukewarm water while he was sleeping, to see if he'd pee himself. He woke up and punched me in the face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 394

You deserved it 66 457

By Anonymous - 21/10/2014 15:49 - United States - Bedford

Today, I was woken up by my dog touching my foot, so I tried to push it away. Then I realized that I'd kicked my girlfriend in the face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 822

You deserved it 7 808

By spitty - 14/04/2015 21:50 - United States - Willoughby

Today, I got a massage. Just as I was starting to relax, the massage therapist drooled on my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 520

You deserved it 2 188

By NickJJ - 16/05/2014 02:34 - Canada - Toronto

Today, I woke up to somebody shaking my shoulder. I had slept over at a friend's house, so I assumed my friend was just fooling around. With my head under the pillow, I swung my hand at his face then gave him the finger. Turns out, my friend left for basketball and I had slept in. It was his mom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 494

You deserved it 18 442

By Big Baby - 28/01/2017 00:00

Today, I was awoken by my wife patting my head and talking in her sleep, asking, "Who is this? Who am I touching?" She then rolled over and farted on me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 455

You deserved it 809

By RomanceFail - 02/04/2015 12:51 - United States - Crestwood

Today, I woke up my girlfriend up with a cute kiss. She was apparently having a bad dream and headbutted me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 041

You deserved it 3 381

By BiteMe14 - 07/01/2011 19:10 - United States

Today, I told my boyfriend about my foot phobia. To help me "get over it", he took his socks off, pinned me down, and rubbed his foot against my face until I started sobbing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 830

You deserved it 7 403

\ 28

Tuesday 14 May 2013 8:20

(toe enters mouth) "Didn't mean to wake you." (moves foot away) -Glenn Quagmire

SharnaaaBanana 22

Tuesday 14 May 2013 8:18

Oh alright, that's interesting.

Comments

xALEXx_fml 15

Tuesday 14 May 2013 8:39

That's a bit strange...you might want to get that friend of yours checked out.

Wizzlbang 10

Tuesday 14 May 2013 8:41

Your friend sounds hilarious

SystemofaBlink41 27

Tuesday 14 May 2013 21:07

Sounds like something my friends would do.

theBadGuy37 9

Tuesday 14 May 2013 8:47

Something strange is afoot...

fml0505 22

Tuesday 14 May 2013 8:48

Was your friend on mushrooms?

Caitie_kid 8

Tuesday 14 May 2013 9:01

Or X? Lol

Enslaved 36

Tuesday 14 May 2013 8:50

"Everything's gonna be all right. Rockabye, rockabye."

BellaBear90 27

Tuesday 14 May 2013 9:05

I can't think of any situation where that would be ok.

suboy 10

Tuesday 14 May 2013 9:13

Thats just wrong on so many levels.

Fluffydemise 18

Tuesday 14 May 2013 9:24

One time drinking with some buddies and we all came back home quite worse for wear. One of my friends decided to pass out in my bed.He was still unconscious when I awoke the next morning so I stripped to my underwear, got in with him and assumed the 'spoon' position. When he stirred I looked over at him with the dirtiest, cheesiest grin I could muster. He awoke screaming and ran out of my house. Good times.