Animals: Today, I woke up to shit on my floor and my cat hiding under... - FML

By danjoylovefun - 25/10/2010 00:36 - United States

Today, I woke up to shit on my floor and my cat hiding under my comforter. I have to get rid of my new fish because my cat is afraid of it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 631

You deserved it 3 478

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'Cause you had a bad day, you're taking one down…

By Anonymous - 14/06/2022 05:00 - United States

Today, I tripped on my coffee table and fell face first into my cat's litter box. To make it even worse, my cat was in there doing his business and, pun not intended, I scared the shit out of him. He ran away terrified, then I tripped over HIM while I was going to take a shower. Today is not my day. FML

I agree, your life sucks 936

You deserved it 208

The betrayal of floof

By Chris - 12/06/2024 16:00 - United Kingdom

Today, I tried to give my cat a bath after he got into the attic and got covered in all sorts of shit. Halfway through, he freaked out, jumped out of the tub, and ran around the house dripping wet. He then hid under my bed, and I had to practically dismantle it to get him out. Now my bedroom smells like wet fur and broken trust. FML

I agree, your life sucks 216

You deserved it 339

By fish killer - 08/02/2013 03:58 - Canada

Today, I bought a fish. I put the tank on top of the fridge so my cat wouldn't get at it. I'd forgotten to buy some things for its tank, so I quickly ran out to get them. When I got home, I saw the tank destroyed on the floor, and my cat devouring my fish. I had the fish for less than an hour. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 271

You deserved it 29 826

By MoncaBang - 29/01/2009 21:25 - United States

Today, my cat fell into the toilet, jumped out, and ran straight to hide in my bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 683

You deserved it 3 453

By Anonymous - 14/03/2011 19:52 - United States

Today, I spent almost two hours cleaning my fish tank, only to find out that my cat had secretly eaten all of my fish while I was cleaning the tank. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 520

You deserved it 8 418

Rescue cat

By crazycatlady - 04/02/2017 20:00 - United States - Charlotte

Today, my cat fell into the toilet, and I had to save him. I now have a soggy cat and scratched arms. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 428

You deserved it 838

By Sassers - 03/12/2009 21:08 - United States

Today, I heard a loud crashing noise. I ran into the kitchen to see what it was. My cat had knocked over my fish bowl and had my Beta in her mouth. After scolding her and rescuing it, I decided to clean its bowl. When I went to dump some of the water in the sink, my fish went down the drain. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 853

You deserved it 35 019

By Ethan - 17/10/2009 11:13 - United States

Today, I awoke to find a giant turd on my carpet, cat hair everywhere in my room, and a big hole in my window screen. I don't own a cat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 109

You deserved it 2 404

By Anonymous - 06/01/2016 06:54 - United States - San Francisco

Today, I finally got myself settled into bed around 2 in the morning after a very long day. My cat started to snuggle with me when I smelled something disgusting. Turns out my cat sharted in my bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 129

You deserved it 2 166

Crowded house

By upset - 25/10/2016 00:08

Today I opened the door for my cat and he brought in a rat with him. Now the rat is hiding in my house. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 262

You deserved it 914

Next

Top comments

Freeze_fml 16

Monday 25 October 2010 9:16

Sounds fishy. Your cat is a pussy.

Anaxes 5

Monday 25 October 2010 9:06

You could give the fish to the cat and you could solve 2 problems.

Comments

Elixa 0

Monday 25 October 2010 9:53

I hope you ate the shit and then puked it into your cats mouth... that would teach it to grow some balls.

Antoine_Dodson 0

Monday 25 October 2010 11:09

2 ******* 1 fish.

at1325 0

Monday 25 October 2010 14:03

eww gross

starile 19

Monday 25 October 2010 18:41

You're disgusting.

tttiffany 0

Monday 25 October 2010 9:55

...Loool

Arsonnist 3

Monday 25 October 2010 10:21

Why would you wake up and poop on the floor? That's what a bathroom is for. The rest is irrelevant.

Elixa 0

Monday 25 October 2010 10:42

smh.... op never once said that they, themselves, pooped on the floor. They "woke up to poop on the floor" meaning the cat shat, cuz it was scared shitless, literally, of the fish.

VoodooGypsy 2

Monday 25 October 2010 10:50

yeah but when you read the first part before 'and' it reads as if the OP woke up to shit on the floor.

Arsonnist 3

Monday 25 October 2010 10:54

Good 28. I understood the FML. Thanks for reiterating.

ddlovatolover 23

Thursday 19 September 2013 4:27

#23, I think OP's cat pooped on OP's bedroom floor because it was too scared to leave her/his room to go to its litter box

chrishansen 0

Monday 25 October 2010 10:53

Piranhas are not meant to be kept as pets.

Tweety122888 0

Monday 25 October 2010 11:13

wow that's all I can say...

mariano92 3

Monday 25 October 2010 11:14

get rid of the cat

Selena_is_back 7

Monday 25 October 2010 11:39

well, you know what they say...

Skroal_stomper 5

Monday 25 October 2010 16:56

What do they say?

someone234 5

Monday 25 October 2010 11:43

how ironic...

adriandenee 0

Monday 25 October 2010 11:58

your pussy is a pussy lol

SadinSherman 16

Monday 25 October 2010 12:01

What kind of fish do you have?

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The Top

Today, while sitting at a table in a coffee shop, I overheard someone on the next table talking about their horrible boss. I joined in, complaining about mine, and going into great detail about what an arsehole he can be. Turns out, I was talking to my boss's sister. FML

I agree, your life sucks 114

You deserved it 651

Today, I brought home my new boyfriend, who happens to have an eyepatch. Despite repeatedly telling them not to, even threatening punishment, my daughters, ages 9 and 11, would not stop calling him "Cyclops." He’s mad at me for this. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 055

You deserved it 365

The Top

Today, one of our local news stations decided it was the perfect day to film random people at the beach. I saw myself on TV, holding hands with my side chick. I hope my girlfriend doesn’t watch the news. FML

I agree, your life sucks 170

You deserved it 4 020

Today, at my job as a waitress, I fell, landed on my ass, managing not to spill the drinks or drop the food in my hands. A little boy yelled, "NINJA WAITRESS!" Everyone at work has been calling me that all day, and purposely been trying to trip me to see if I could do it again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 315

You deserved it 5 938

Today, I found out that ALL of my friends were in the same class and I was in a different one. They went away on camp, and I'm going to be alone for this whole week. FML

I agree, your life sucks 755

You deserved it 135

Today, I overheard the guy who hired me talking to one of my managers in hushed tones about me. I'm pretty sure he's going to send me an email soon, saying that my job "probably isn't the right fit" for me, which is part of what I overheard. FML

I agree, your life sucks 375

You deserved it 69

Today, I met a really nice guy. He was funny, handsome, and we were both into each other. He told me his name, and when I replied with mine, it came out sounding like "I'm a bear." FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 957

You deserved it 16 365

Today, while I was out walking with my girlfriend, I got beaten up and called an "abuser" by a gang of women who noticed bruises on my girlfriend's arms and legs. The bruises are from her karate class. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 356

You deserved it 264