Animals: Today, I woke up to the feeling of someone tickling my back....

By GnarCarBar - 12/09/2011 23:03 - United States

Today, I woke up to the feeling of someone tickling my back. I quickly realized I haven't been touched in so long that I was smiling to flies landing on me in my sleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 786

You deserved it 4 663

Thanksgiving: Turkeys and Skids
Family meals that turn absurd, because Thanksgiving is also about laughing at little disasters. More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

By thatsnotacat - 21/11/2013 17:52 - Australia - West End

Today, I woke up to something tickling me. Thinking it was my cat, I reached under the covers to give her a friendly scratch behind the ears. I imagine the giant spider that was actually there enjoyed my terrified screams. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 522

You deserved it 3 358

Freaked out

By The Buzzing - 28/07/2022 07:00 - United States

Today, after going on a fly-killing spree all around my house, I had the most ridiculous nightmare where I was terrorized by a fly that looked like it was having a seizure whenever it was flying. When it landed on my arm, I woke up and felt a strange sensation on my arm. Great, I didn't want to sleep anyway. FML

I agree, your life sucks 660

You deserved it 159

By Allie cat - 02/12/2016 13:43

Today, while in deep sleep, I was suddenly awoken by a tickle on my face and nearly threw my cat off the bed. Apparently, 4 a.m. Is the perfect time to touch noses with your human. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 481

You deserved it 1 581

By sneaky1324 - 18/08/2012 07:49 - Canada - Calgary

Today, I woke up by inhaling a fly up my nose, and feeling it twitching and slowly dying inside my nasal cavity. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 943

You deserved it 2 208

Sleep well?

By Karen - 29/08/2022 16:00

Today, there was a wasp tangled in my bed sheets. I found this out when I rolled over it in my sleep, and it stung me on the lower back. FML

I agree, your life sucks 922

You deserved it 74

By santasadiekins - 17/08/2011 17:25 - United States

Today, I was camping out under the stars on my trampoline. I was just about asleep when I felt a tickle on my arm. Figuring it was an ant, I brushed it off. The rest of the red ants crawling up my arm didn't like that. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 710

You deserved it 4 865

By slugitha - 16/03/2016 10:23 - United States

Today, I was awoken by a slug crawling down my back. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 433

You deserved it 1 857

PANIC

By Anonymous - 29/12/2009 05:11 - United States

Today, I woke up from a nap and thought I felt somebody's arm in my bed. I frantically start hitting it and start screaming. I soon realized it was my own arm. I'd fallen asleep on it, and it was completely numb, I couldn't feel a thing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 406

You deserved it 11 944

By Big Baby - 28/01/2017 00:00

Today, I was awoken by my wife patting my head and talking in her sleep, asking, "Who is this? Who am I touching?" She then rolled over and farted on me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 455

You deserved it 809

Panic!

By sweetdreams - 18/09/2016 06:39 - United States - New York

Today, I woke up suddenly with giant bugs biting my legs. I screamed, ripped the blanket off the bed and bolted to the bathroom to recover. Turns out it was all a dream, and the person who needed to recover most was my shell-shocked boyfriend who had been sleeping soundly beside me. Sorry, babe. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 780

You deserved it 1 408

CherryBomb511 3

Tuesday 13 September 2011 9:04

Shower son.

theunwiseone 4

Tuesday 13 September 2011 9:11

Catch them and tie a little rope around their legs and u can eventually train them to love u, maybe.

Comments

thesiwel 0

Tuesday 13 September 2011 9:03

First

gazzdogs 5

Tuesday 13 September 2011 9:05

wow damn I wish I was cool enough to be first!

CherryBomb511 3

Tuesday 13 September 2011 9:06

You fail at life my friend.

thesiwel 0

Tuesday 13 September 2011 9:06

Yeah I couldn't help it

StoryOfTheYear 14

Tuesday 13 September 2011 9:07

Jealousy is just pouring out of me. Congratulations though! For the time that you get to stay up there at least. :D

Ruler3000 17

Tuesday 13 September 2011 9:07

Do you feel accomplished? Kiss your comment goodbai!

CherryBomb511 3

Tuesday 13 September 2011 9:04

Shower son.

StoryOfTheYear 14

Tuesday 13 September 2011 9:09

Don't think she needs a shower. Last thing they need to do is stay inside their house.

CherryBomb511 3

Tuesday 13 September 2011 9:13

She could also eliminate the source of the flies...just a thought.

indielove 13

Tuesday 13 September 2011 9:21

It won't be long before they decide that they don't want to touch you anymore.

enonymous 8

Tuesday 13 September 2011 9:48

19 - I agree how long before she nags them to death

rexgar2000 10

Tuesday 13 September 2011 12:07

pretty pathetic that she finds pleated on that.

ShayDeeBayBe 0

Wednesday 14 September 2011 5:51

Lmaoooo

larry12693 1

Wednesday 14 September 2011 8:36

I think op just figured out why he hasn't been touched in so long

Cashtangoteam 10

Tuesday 13 September 2011 9:04

That's hot

netherflame 0

Tuesday 13 September 2011 23:33

There's a fetish for that.

WadeWilson_fml 6

Tuesday 13 September 2011 9:05

That.. is rather sad.

michi23 0

Wednesday 14 September 2011 3:49

Seriously, he needs some friends.

theunwiseone 4

Tuesday 13 September 2011 9:11

Catch them and tie a little rope around their legs and u can eventually train them to love u, maybe.

thejedi08 10

Tuesday 13 September 2011 9:11

YDI for smelling like trash!

Scar_loves_you 0

Tuesday 13 September 2011 12:56

And you Deserve me calling you a douche.

mike410 0

Tuesday 13 September 2011 17:09

I bet your used to flys bro, you look like a hobo

FLASH7221 0

Friday 16 September 2011 0:40

What does YDI MEAN

perdix 29

Tuesday 13 September 2011 9:14

Enjoy it while you can. In a generation or two, the flies are going to evolve and decide that you are gross and untouchable, just like the human race already has.