Animals: Today, I woke up to the feeling of someone tickling my back....

By GnarCarBar - 12/09/2011 23:03 - United States

Today, I woke up to the feeling of someone tickling my back. I quickly realized I haven't been touched in so long that I was smiling to flies landing on me in my sleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 786

You deserved it 4 663

Winter: Snow and Funny News
Snuggle up and laugh with our winter stories, where snow isn't the only thing sliding around! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

By thatsnotacat - 21/11/2013 17:52 - Australia - West End

Today, I woke up to something tickling me. Thinking it was my cat, I reached under the covers to give her a friendly scratch behind the ears. I imagine the giant spider that was actually there enjoyed my terrified screams. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 522

You deserved it 3 358

Freaked out

By The Buzzing - 28/07/2022 07:00 - United States

Today, after going on a fly-killing spree all around my house, I had the most ridiculous nightmare where I was terrorized by a fly that looked like it was having a seizure whenever it was flying. When it landed on my arm, I woke up and felt a strange sensation on my arm. Great, I didn't want to sleep anyway. FML

I agree, your life sucks 660

You deserved it 159

By Allie cat - 02/12/2016 13:43

Today, while in deep sleep, I was suddenly awoken by a tickle on my face and nearly threw my cat off the bed. Apparently, 4 a.m. Is the perfect time to touch noses with your human. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 481

You deserved it 1 581

By sneaky1324 - 18/08/2012 07:49 - Canada - Calgary

Today, I woke up by inhaling a fly up my nose, and feeling it twitching and slowly dying inside my nasal cavity. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 943

You deserved it 2 208

Sleep well?

By Karen - 29/08/2022 16:00

Today, there was a wasp tangled in my bed sheets. I found this out when I rolled over it in my sleep, and it stung me on the lower back. FML

I agree, your life sucks 922

You deserved it 74

By santasadiekins - 17/08/2011 17:25 - United States

Today, I was camping out under the stars on my trampoline. I was just about asleep when I felt a tickle on my arm. Figuring it was an ant, I brushed it off. The rest of the red ants crawling up my arm didn't like that. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 710

You deserved it 4 865

By slugitha - 16/03/2016 10:23 - United States

Today, I was awoken by a slug crawling down my back. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 433

You deserved it 1 857

PANIC

By Anonymous - 29/12/2009 05:11 - United States

Today, I woke up from a nap and thought I felt somebody's arm in my bed. I frantically start hitting it and start screaming. I soon realized it was my own arm. I'd fallen asleep on it, and it was completely numb, I couldn't feel a thing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 406

You deserved it 11 944

By Big Baby - 28/01/2017 00:00

Today, I was awoken by my wife patting my head and talking in her sleep, asking, "Who is this? Who am I touching?" She then rolled over and farted on me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 455

You deserved it 809

Panic!

By sweetdreams - 18/09/2016 06:39 - United States - New York

Today, I woke up suddenly with giant bugs biting my legs. I screamed, ripped the blanket off the bed and bolted to the bathroom to recover. Turns out it was all a dream, and the person who needed to recover most was my shell-shocked boyfriend who had been sleeping soundly beside me. Sorry, babe. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 780

You deserved it 1 408

CherryBomb511 3

Tuesday 13 September 2011 9:04

Shower son.

theunwiseone 4

Tuesday 13 September 2011 9:11

Catch them and tie a little rope around their legs and u can eventually train them to love u, maybe.

Comments

kathuzada 6

Tuesday 13 September 2011 9:21

Now that is interracial

gemno333 8

Tuesday 13 September 2011 9:23

believe me. i know that feeling lolbelieve me. i know that feeling lol

theunwiseone 4

Tuesday 13 September 2011 9:34

Such a shitty comment u had to say it twice. Such a shitty comment u had to say it twice.

FMLephant 2

Tuesday 13 September 2011 9:23

Sometimes it's the little things that make us smile....

kareltje 17

Tuesday 13 September 2011 9:28

Maybe those flies landing on you is (one of the) reason(s) why you haven't been touched by anyONE. Go take a shower and go out in the world instead of trying to find sympathy in a virtual world!

Freeze_fml 16

Tuesday 13 September 2011 9:29

That's the most action you'll ever get.

dreamering 16

Tuesday 13 September 2011 9:32

Were they sucking you (blood intended ;)

monkeymatt 0

Tuesday 13 September 2011 21:42

What???

Watzrname 0

Tuesday 13 September 2011 9:38

Were they "spanish" flies??

leadman1989 15

Tuesday 13 September 2011 9:42

I hope you know they were eating you out. Yeah it's gross flies throw up acid and then suck in the partially digested material, in this case your skin cells.