Animals: Today, I woke up to what sounded like twigs snapping. Turns out... - FML

By Anonymous - 30/03/2012 07:45 - Australia - Perth

Today, I woke up to what sounded like twigs snapping. Turns out it was the skull of a live mouse being crushed in my cat's jaws. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 265

You deserved it 2 745

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Same thing different taste

By animal lover... - 05/10/2013 22:34

Today, I woke up to my cat slowly dragging her paw across my face. I opened my eyes to see a bloody mouse dangling an inch from my face. It was still twitching. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 896

You deserved it 4 041

By CatLady - 24/08/2009 13:38 - Canada

Today, my cat head-butted me awake as usual. I reached to pet him, but it wasn't his face I touched. It was the still-twitching corpse of the disemboweled rat he held in his jaws. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 547

You deserved it 4 164

By Anonymous - 20/07/2019 09:00 - United States - Tulsa

Today, my cat attempted to make up for my insomnia with a dead mouse. I have no idea where he got it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 530

You deserved it 200

By Anonymous - 05/10/2014 17:04 - United States - Louisville

Today, I woke up to a mouse sitting on my pillow and chewing on my hair. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 642

You deserved it 3 729

Thanks Raymond

By Anonymous - 20/03/2016 05:13 - United States - Boise

Today, my cat brought home a bloody, barely-living mouse. The thing managed to escape and dragged itself into a crack in the wall, where it must have died. The only way to get it out before it starts to stink up the place is by demolishing the wall. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 857

You deserved it 1 703

Is gift

By catlady - 25/08/2015 03:16 - United States - Clifton Park

Today, I awoke at two in the morning to my cat putting his most recent kill on my chest. When I jumped up screaming, the dead mouse went flying and now my husband and I can't find it. Better yet, now both my husband and my cat are giving me the silent treatment. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 737

You deserved it 2 457

By Giggity - 21/02/2011 19:20 - United States

Today, I found out that the mysterious smell from under my bed was my cats collection of dead mice. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 370

You deserved it 6 519

Poor Mickey

By oh, good - 15/09/2019 02:02 - United Kingdom - Bath

Today, my cat was looking a little peaky. After craning my neck to check for lumps under his chin, he felt this was the perfect time to throw up a half-digested mouse onto my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 598

You deserved it 265

Sobering

By TheLivingDeadTree - 19/10/2024 13:00 - United States

Today, I made my way to bed around 4am after spending all night hanging out with my family. When I got to my bed, I started to clear a spot to lay down. Almost immediately, my hand touched something furry and cold and, fearing the worst, I turned the light on. Turns out my cat left me a half eaten rodent. FML

I agree, your life sucks 418

You deserved it 106

Spooky

By mike - 11/03/2011 18:34 - United States

Today, I set up a mouse trap to kill the rodent plaguing my kitchen. While lying in bed, I heard an unmistakable snap, and ran to see what I'd caught. The mouse trap was missing. I now have a large, angry, and possibly dying animal running around my house. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 586

You deserved it 7 162

Next

Top comments

LaughinStock 16

Friday 30 March 2012 16:14

Huh seems like Tom finally caught Jerry :)

RedPillSucks 31

Friday 30 March 2012 16:15

She brings you presents and all you do is complain.

Comments

Hts777 4

Saturday 31 March 2012 18:49

At least your cat is taking care of your rat problem

megmich 4

Sunday 1 April 2012 21:14

My penis hurts

Bquillero16 18

Thursday 5 April 2012 22:31

Cool…

iLoveFamilyGuy 7

Sunday 6 May 2012 15:19

the circle of life!!

sissors1234 4

Tuesday 5 June 2012 4:09

Y share that?

Joui_fml 11

Thursday 12 July 2012 1:18

I feel bad for the mouse, and sorry for you, as you had to witness that horrible slaughter. Although... It is only the cat's nature. But still. I can't help being a bit mad at the cat if s/he's already living in a home where (I hope) s/he gets regular feedings.

rain_or_shine 8

Friday 2 November 2012 4:15

Oh that is gross; I know cats eat mice, but that's not a pleasant surprise.

meghaninblack 4

Tuesday 21 May 2013 18:22

At first I read "mouse" as "moose", then I realised that we don't have moose in Oz. But that would have been pretty bad-ass, a cat taking down a moose.

CinderBrick 13

Saturday 19 April 2014 18:56

FML cats keeping rodents out of my house. I love disease

rkblair 4

Sunday 4 May 2014 0:07

Watch your cat then!

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Keywords

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The Top

Today, I annoyed my friend by texting him "Meow" over and over at random times of the day because when he's drunk he meows in his sleep. Apparently a great way to get back at me was to tell my parents I wasn't a virgin, and that I got high on Wednesday. He had pictures to prove it for both. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 634

You deserved it 68 712

Today, I met a really attractive guy outside of a club. We came back to my apartment and had sex. Afterward, we both fell asleep. I woke up and found 20 dollars on my nightstand that wasn't there before. He thought I was a prostitute, and apparently a cheap one. FML

I agree, your life sucks 74 484

You deserved it 38 929

The Top

Today, I arrived at my grandparents'. They already had guests so I had to sleep in the cottage. It wasn’t that bad until when I was making the bed I found a dead rotting possum in the blankets. When I told my grandmother, she simply said, "Deal with it, wimp." FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 833

You deserved it 4 544

Today, I sent a "just checking in!" email to a client who hasn't replied in weeks. They replied immediately, but I'd forgotten to delete the part where I called them "The Ghost of Projects Past." Now I’m praying for either forgiveness… or just more ghosting. FML

I agree, your life sucks 79

You deserved it 492

Today, my dad has apparently decided that it's too much of a bother to put clothes on when he gets out of bed. He's been walking around in his tighty-whiteys for hours now. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 491

You deserved it 2 469

Today, being the prank couple that we are, I decided to mess with my husband. When he got off work, I said, "The lady from your office called and said she was pregnant. From you." He immediately broke down crying, and said, "I knew it." Turns out, my fetus already has a sibling. FML

I agree, your life sucks 73 476

You deserved it 7 128

Today, after weeks of slaving away, I finally wrapped up the last house project on the backlog. I decided to take a day to relax around the house in celebration. My wife spent all day following me around, moaning that I never go anywhere, and that she never gets any space. FML

I agree, your life sucks 560

You deserved it 110

Today, after living for a while with my husband and our cat, I'm still not sure which of the two leaves the most hairs strewn around the house. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 364

You deserved it 1 847