Animals: Today, I woke up to what sounded like twigs snapping. Turns out...

By Anonymous - 30/03/2012 07:45 - Australia - Perth

Today, I woke up to what sounded like twigs snapping. Turns out it was the skull of a live mouse being crushed in my cat's jaws. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 263

You deserved it 2 745

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Same thing different taste

By animal lover... - 05/10/2013 22:34

Today, I woke up to my cat slowly dragging her paw across my face. I opened my eyes to see a bloody mouse dangling an inch from my face. It was still twitching. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 891

You deserved it 4 041

By CatLady - 24/08/2009 13:38 - Canada

Today, my cat head-butted me awake as usual. I reached to pet him, but it wasn't his face I touched. It was the still-twitching corpse of the disemboweled rat he held in his jaws. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 543

You deserved it 4 164

By Anonymous - 20/07/2019 09:00 - United States - Tulsa

Today, my cat attempted to make up for my insomnia with a dead mouse. I have no idea where he got it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 526

You deserved it 200

By Anonymous - 05/10/2014 17:04 - United States - Louisville

Today, I woke up to a mouse sitting on my pillow and chewing on my hair. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 639

You deserved it 3 726

Thanks Raymond

By Anonymous - 20/03/2016 05:13 - United States - Boise

Today, my cat brought home a bloody, barely-living mouse. The thing managed to escape and dragged itself into a crack in the wall, where it must have died. The only way to get it out before it starts to stink up the place is by demolishing the wall. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 856

You deserved it 1 702

Is gift

By catlady - 25/08/2015 03:16 - United States - Clifton Park

Today, I awoke at two in the morning to my cat putting his most recent kill on my chest. When I jumped up screaming, the dead mouse went flying and now my husband and I can't find it. Better yet, now both my husband and my cat are giving me the silent treatment. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 735

You deserved it 2 457

By Giggity - 21/02/2011 19:20 - United States

Today, I found out that the mysterious smell from under my bed was my cats collection of dead mice. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 367

You deserved it 6 516

Poor Mickey

By oh, good - 15/09/2019 02:02 - United Kingdom - Bath

Today, my cat was looking a little peaky. After craning my neck to check for lumps under his chin, he felt this was the perfect time to throw up a half-digested mouse onto my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 594

You deserved it 261

Spooky

By mike - 11/03/2011 18:34 - United States

Today, I set up a mouse trap to kill the rodent plaguing my kitchen. While lying in bed, I heard an unmistakable snap, and ran to see what I'd caught. The mouse trap was missing. I now have a large, angry, and possibly dying animal running around my house. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 584

You deserved it 7 161

By Sarah1330 - 25/02/2015 04:33 - United States

Today, while trying to sleep, I heard what sounded like someone breaking into my house. I ran downstairs, only to find my cat had ripped down my blinds and was tangled up in them, thrashing around the floor like a fish. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 405

You deserved it 3 345

LaughinStock 16

Friday 30 March 2012 16:14

Huh seems like Tom finally caught Jerry :)

RedPillSucks 31

Friday 30 March 2012 16:15

She brings you presents and all you do is complain.

Comments

neuroticallyyour_fml 17

Friday 30 March 2012 22:56

FML's like this make me glad both of my cats are terrified of the outdoors and other animals. Go figure.

ScubaSteve802 3

Friday 30 March 2012 23:03

I want a cat now.

10madirocks 6

Saturday 31 March 2012 0:30

Awww poor mousy :(

drlove78843 6

Saturday 31 March 2012 0:59

you've a awesome cat.

winner_by_error_fml 0

Saturday 31 March 2012 1:52

Your cat did you a favor. Quit your bitchin.

theater_disney 12

Saturday 31 March 2012 3:25

Did you really have to post that??

Random951 12

Saturday 31 March 2012 3:26

You rejected the present that your cat tried to give to you, Your cat must absolutely love you.

Superfreak420 0

Saturday 31 March 2012 3:38

You have mice in your house too?? Nasty

wellthatsukx 0

Saturday 31 March 2012 3:50

Well, one less mouse to worry about.

crazybunnyattack 11

Saturday 31 March 2012 4:20

"Today, my owner got mad at me for waking him up while I saved him from an intruder. FML" Come on, man...

Keywords

Love Surprise Cute Awkward My ex Texting Intimacy Sex Wanker Health Insomnia Sleep Mental health Cooking Food Parents Weekend Kids Pranks Annoying Miscellaneous Embarrassing Work Technology Coworkers Zoom Roommate Argument Animals Pizza

The Top

Today, I decided to put on some sexy lingerie and wait for my husband to come home to surprise him. He took one look at me and immediately accused me of cheating. He was convinced my explanation was a lie and that I'd rushed some guy out the back door when he came home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 756

You deserved it 3 572

Today, my dad's boss called our house and I answered. He said, "Is your dad home?" I replied, "I'll go check." I put the phone on mute and asked my dad if he wanted to talk to his boss. My dad says, "Does that asshole not have a life?" Turns out the phone wasn't on mute, it was on speaker. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 356

You deserved it 42 739

The Top

Today, I jokingly asked my girlfriend what she got me for my half birthday, to which she replied "A baby." She was serious. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 681

You deserved it 29 207

Today, after battling for hours to get just a little sleep before my early morning work shift, I finally began drifting off. Then I got the worst attack of hiccups in my life. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 691

You deserved it 2 824

Today, I went to the ER for extremely heavy bleeding related to my IUD birth control. They decided the best thing to do was remove it. An exam, two ultrasounds, and three x-rays later, the doctor comes back to tell me what's going on. Yeah, they can't find it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 825

You deserved it 2 100

Today, while working at my unfulfilling part-time job, my colleague said, "Are you aware of how much you sigh?" And then she said, "You're too young for that." So, am I supposed to hold my breath now? FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 517

You deserved it 552

Today, I went to the doctor's office to get my yearly check up. Soon after I got home, I threw up and somehow had a fever. FML

I agree, your life sucks 801

You deserved it 83

Today, I was making love to my fiancée, when she dug her nails into my back and told me to "choke" her like I did last night. I was at work last night. FML

I agree, your life sucks 90 117

You deserved it 6 174