Intimacy: Today, I woke up with a strange and itchy feeling in my anus....

By dontgothere - 23/02/2014 04:40 - United States - Egg Harbor Township

Today, I woke up with a strange and itchy feeling in my anus. When I told my boyfriend about it, he started laughing. I still don't know what he did. FML

I agree, your life sucks 57 539

You deserved it 6 720

The rhythm of the fight
Discover all the best anecdotes from the month of January, with or without snow, with or without you. More…

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 17/11/2011 14:06 - United States

Today, I was doing the reverse cowgirl with my boyfriend. I was on the way to a glorious finish when he pointed out that I had a pimple on my butt. He began to laugh so hard that he went soft. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 706

You deserved it 6 088

By megaladon - 28/06/2010 08:12 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I were messing around. When he slipped his hand down my pants, he scratched my pubic hair and said "scruffy, scruffy, scruffy." FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 893

You deserved it 37 459

By >{%£•¥ - 27/11/2010 07:08 - United States

Today, right before my boyfriend and I were about to have sex, he touched his butt and says, "Oh I have a butt pimple." He then went and popped it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 071

You deserved it 4 155

Sexy moves

By what sex life? - 02/08/2016 06:26 - United States - Nashville

Today, while in the shower with my boyfriend, I tried to heat things up by washing his knob with my loofa. He couldn't stop laughing and eventually laughed so hard that he slipped and fell. He now has a bruised butt while I have a missing toenail from catching his fall. Ouch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 291

You deserved it 2 897

Clenched

By Lovergirl - 01/01/2010 20:23 - United States

Today, I was snuggled in bed with my husband. He thought because my butt was twitching that I was trying to be frisky. So he slapped my ass hard in attempt to get something going. I was actually trying to hold in a huge fart because last night I had diarrhea. Apparently I still have it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 800

You deserved it 3 945

By ohmygoodness - 02/03/2009 21:51 - United States

Today, I woke up at my boyfriend's place with grumbling stomach pains. I left him in bed to go have explosive diarreah in the bathroom next to his room. When I was done, I came back to bed and snuggled in next to his sleeping form and he rolled over to whisper, "I heard everthing." FML

I agree, your life sucks 80 728

You deserved it 17 290

By -_____- - 31/07/2013 21:23 - Netherlands

Today, my boyfriend and I were spooning in bed, nude, when I accidentally farted. He freaked out and asked in all seriousness if I was trying to give his dick pink-eye. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 077

You deserved it 8 073

Check this out

By Anonymous - 19/12/2010 05:24 - United States

Today, my boyfriend called me into the bathroom after he had been in there a while. I found him with his pants down, looking at a pimple on his butt in the mirror. He asked me for, "Help." FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 874

You deserved it 4 544

Bummed out

By Anon - 11/11/2023 04:00

Today, I tried to tease my boyfriend by pulling my skirt up, bending over, and backing up into him. He gagged and said, "Please, wash your ass." FML

I agree, your life sucks 138

You deserved it 811

By Username - 12/03/2011 05:10 - United States

Today, my boyfriend said he wanted to try something new. By something new, it was to put flour in my butt and see what would happen if I farted. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 194

You deserved it 8 337

aleximo 18

Sunday 23 February 2014 12:51

Question is, do you really want to know what he did?

Varieus 30

Sunday 23 February 2014 12:56

He may have done nothing, and just finds the situation funny like an immature kid?

Comments

martin8337 35

Sunday 23 February 2014 18:37

Knocking at your back door.

martin8337 35

Sunday 23 February 2014 18:39

OP, I hope that you are a female..

mylovebree 2

Sunday 23 February 2014 19:15

why?who cares if it was t guys or not

BrownSuspenders 4

Sunday 23 February 2014 19:13

Now you have 2 hemorrhoids. Preparation H will shrink one, but you will need to say good bye to the other one.

snugglesMcGee199 23

Sunday 23 February 2014 23:36

This is funny, even if it's not appropriate to the FML.

JustClaire95 13

Sunday 23 February 2014 19:19

I'm making a nasty eww face right now

nickmoore 12

Sunday 23 February 2014 19:23

I think you were butt raped

jonjonguapito 15

Sunday 23 February 2014 19:48

Your BF (or you, in case of you having a temporary amnesia) did not wash his hands when he ate something spicy, touched your butt and there, instant itch. Either way, don't sniff your butt. its weird and gross.