Intimacy: Today, I woke up with a strange and itchy feeling in my anus....

By dontgothere - 23/02/2014 04:40 - United States - Egg Harbor Township

Today, I woke up with a strange and itchy feeling in my anus. When I told my boyfriend about it, he started laughing. I still don't know what he did. FML

I agree, your life sucks 57 539

You deserved it 6 720

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 17/11/2011 14:06 - United States

Today, I was doing the reverse cowgirl with my boyfriend. I was on the way to a glorious finish when he pointed out that I had a pimple on my butt. He began to laugh so hard that he went soft. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 706

You deserved it 6 088

By megaladon - 28/06/2010 08:12 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I were messing around. When he slipped his hand down my pants, he scratched my pubic hair and said "scruffy, scruffy, scruffy." FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 893

You deserved it 37 459

By >{%£•¥ - 27/11/2010 07:08 - United States

Today, right before my boyfriend and I were about to have sex, he touched his butt and says, "Oh I have a butt pimple." He then went and popped it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 071

You deserved it 4 155

Sexy moves

By what sex life? - 02/08/2016 06:26 - United States - Nashville

Today, while in the shower with my boyfriend, I tried to heat things up by washing his knob with my loofa. He couldn't stop laughing and eventually laughed so hard that he slipped and fell. He now has a bruised butt while I have a missing toenail from catching his fall. Ouch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 291

You deserved it 2 897

Clenched

By Lovergirl - 01/01/2010 20:23 - United States

Today, I was snuggled in bed with my husband. He thought because my butt was twitching that I was trying to be frisky. So he slapped my ass hard in attempt to get something going. I was actually trying to hold in a huge fart because last night I had diarrhea. Apparently I still have it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 800

You deserved it 3 945

By ohmygoodness - 02/03/2009 21:51 - United States

Today, I woke up at my boyfriend's place with grumbling stomach pains. I left him in bed to go have explosive diarreah in the bathroom next to his room. When I was done, I came back to bed and snuggled in next to his sleeping form and he rolled over to whisper, "I heard everthing." FML

I agree, your life sucks 80 728

You deserved it 17 290

By -_____- - 31/07/2013 21:23 - Netherlands

Today, my boyfriend and I were spooning in bed, nude, when I accidentally farted. He freaked out and asked in all seriousness if I was trying to give his dick pink-eye. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 077

You deserved it 8 073

Check this out

By Anonymous - 19/12/2010 05:24 - United States

Today, my boyfriend called me into the bathroom after he had been in there a while. I found him with his pants down, looking at a pimple on his butt in the mirror. He asked me for, "Help." FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 874

You deserved it 4 544

Bummed out

By Anon - 11/11/2023 04:00

Today, I tried to tease my boyfriend by pulling my skirt up, bending over, and backing up into him. He gagged and said, "Please, wash your ass." FML

I agree, your life sucks 138

You deserved it 811

By Username - 12/03/2011 05:10 - United States

Today, my boyfriend said he wanted to try something new. By something new, it was to put flour in my butt and see what would happen if I farted. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 194

You deserved it 8 337

aleximo 18

Sunday 23 February 2014 12:51

Question is, do you really want to know what he did?

Varieus 30

Sunday 23 February 2014 12:56

He may have done nothing, and just finds the situation funny like an immature kid?

Comments

itsjusttofunny 8

Sunday 23 February 2014 16:47

He probably poked your bum while you were sleeping.....

PattonGilette2 18

Sunday 23 February 2014 16:52

AAA

buckdharma 37

Sunday 23 February 2014 17:14

As Lawrence would say, " Watch out for your cornhole," op.

Manginyc 8

Sunday 23 February 2014 17:15

why would you even tell him?

rockhead1270 5

Sunday 23 February 2014 17:18

Why is it his fault? I don't blame my wife if my ass itches, must you have a problem? Hmmmm. Are you from Cornhole Kansas?

Dkman 11

Sunday 23 February 2014 17:29

See. This is where you guys are wrong. You assumed he tried anal in her sleep. First, that's illegal. Second. For anyone who's tried or anal they'll tell you. IT HURTS. All the girls I've talked to said it felt like they were being torn open. That and if it went on long enough, you have to really poop. So I'm guessing the latter and pretty sure he just found her comment funny

rockhead1270 5

Sunday 23 February 2014 17:42

Where I'm from assholes ain't for cocks

tymarie2012 31

Sunday 23 February 2014 22:36

If people play with the butthole enough to relax it, anal doesn't hurt. Plus you have to use lube.

angela_ahoyy 6

Sunday 23 February 2014 17:43

Maybe you should go to the doctor, if it persists.

metalhead88 9

Sunday 23 February 2014 17:46

Sure he didn't give you the herp

FemskyD 26

Sunday 23 February 2014 17:55

I'd laugh if that was the first thing my boyfriend said in the morning!!

bianconero_fml 2

Sunday 23 February 2014 18:15

As a doctor i can tell you that he ****** you in ur ass

awesomeamandas 37

Wednesday 26 February 2014 5:59

As a doctor you should know if he tried anal sex with her she would be in pain and would have most likely woken up, unless she was drugged or is a very very heavy sleeper. And if she sleeps with clothes on she would have woken up from him trying to pull her pants and underwear down.