Health: Today, I woke up with extreme stomach pains. After being rushed...

By fulloshit - 28/11/2010 02:17 - United States

Today, I woke up with extreme stomach pains. After being rushed to the hospital and having numerous tests performed, I was told my intestines were over-stretched with stool. I'm essentially so full of shit it hurts. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 064

You deserved it 4 594

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Same thing different taste

Full of it

By romoangel - 21/04/2020 05:00

Today, I felt a very sharp pain, like my appendix was going to burst. After going to the doctor, I was rushed to the hospital to get tests done. The doctors later told me there's nothing wrong, I was just constipated. I went to the hospital for them to basically tell me I'm full of shit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 514

You deserved it 540

By blehh - 14/04/2009 20:40 - United States

Today, I had horrible pains in my stomach area so I went to the doctors. They couldn't find anything wrong and sent me to the Emergency Room for X-rays. After spending the entire day in the hospital, they tell me I'm slightly constipated. I had to pay $400 to find out I had to take a shit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 291

You deserved it 54 665

By Anonymous - 12/04/2015 15:42 - Belgium

Today, what started with me forcing a shit a little too hard ended up with me being rushed to the hospital with appendicitis. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 511

You deserved it 2 898

I've known for ages

By Crap - 28/01/2010 05:01 - United States

Today, I went to the doctor for horrible stomach pains. He said I had an abnormal amount of stool in me, and that I'd need to flush it out. I called my mom and told her what happened, to which she responded, "I always knew you were full of shit, I didn't need a doctor to tell me that." FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 080

You deserved it 7 180

Pain in the ass

By Anonymous - 17/06/2021 22:01 - United States - Greenville

Today, I awoke to an excruciating pain in my back from sleeping in the same position all night. I can't wipe my own ass. I've already gone to shit twice. FML

I agree, your life sucks 767

You deserved it 126

Man up

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2013 but it's good stuff - United States - Santa Barbara

Today, I woke up with horrible pain in my gut. It got worse and worse, and I started vomiting from the pain. My mom said it was the flu and that I needed to "man up." It turned out to be appendicitis, and I'm now typing this from my hospital bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 58 674

You deserved it 3 226

Put the booze down

By Anonymous - 13/08/2020 14:01

Today, I shat myself in front of my girlfriend's family, after drinking too much the previous night and waking up with major stomach problems. FML

I agree, your life sucks 559

You deserved it 2 079

By Anonymous - 22/11/2009 04:12 - United States

Today, I got diagnosed with stomach ulcers. They are very painful, and I have been throwing up blood. On my latest trip to the toilet, I was heaving and the pain was making me beat the floor with my fist, the toilet lid decided to come crashing down on my head, giving me a minor concussion. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 791

You deserved it 3 966

Healthy lifestyle tips

By middleagednurse - 04/10/2017 23:37

Today, I spent 5 hours in the emergency room for what I thought was heavy bloody diarrhea. After having various implements and doctors' fingers shoved up my ass, it turns out I was only shitting out the family-sized bag of red spicy cheese curls I had eaten for lunch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 581

You deserved it 4 114

By Anonymous - 02/08/2013 21:34 - United Kingdom - Newcastle Upon Tyne

Today, at work, I felt a sudden, all-too-familiar pain in my stomach. I ran for the restroom, but before I could get there, I shat myself. I had to limp the rest of the way, then beg my boss to let me go home. He said no and told me to get back to work. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 016

You deserved it 5 399

redbeater 5

Sunday 28 November 2010 9:24

aww shit.

SamSayzRAWRZ 0

Sunday 28 November 2010 9:28

I shouldn't be laughing, but I am.

Comments

poopypunts 0

Sunday 28 November 2010 11:30

lolll arnt we all

Gloritank 8

Sunday 28 November 2010 11:32

What a shitty day at the doctors.

abc1231 2

Sunday 28 November 2010 11:54

oh no... maybe you should consider doing a colon cleansing..

artisticninja713 13

Sunday 28 November 2010 12:44

Wow really? Eat some fiber....or ya know take a laxative.

bv110 2

Sunday 28 November 2010 13:01

well look at the bright side if you get into an argument with someone and they say "your so full of shit" you can use this as an excuse to use the come back "yes i ******* am!!"

lindsey37 0

Sunday 28 November 2010 13:18

Sounds like somebody needs some laxitives...

lindsey37 0

Sunday 28 November 2010 13:24

**laxatives

powerhawk18 0

Sunday 28 November 2010 14:02

gross

dylanando 0

Sunday 28 November 2010 14:24

your so full of shit

DocBastard 38

Sunday 28 November 2010 14:26

Assuming this isn't a medical conditions, OP has several options. A suppository (such as Dulcolax) may help. Magnesium citrate is very potent. A stool softener/laxative combination like Pericolace may work. I usually recommend Milk of Magnesia first. Prune juice sometimes helps. Manual disimpaction may be needed. Or he could come to me and I could beat the shit out of him.