Sex and Intimacy: Today, in the middle of what had to be the most amazing blowjob...

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By blueballs - 14/09/2012 00:06 - United States - Santa Clarita

Today, in the middle of what had to be the most amazing blowjob I've ever had in my life, my girlfriend had a mental breakdown and began weeping on top of my cock. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 185

You deserved it 8 247

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Same thing different taste

By man - 30/10/2009 16:34 - United Kingdom

Today, my girlfriend was giving me amazing head. I was really getting into it, when she looked up, and gave me a thumbs up. I can never take oral sex seriously again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 134

You deserved it 23 545

By Anonymous - 25/11/2017 06:00

Today, I was getting one of the best blow jobs I have ever received. My girlfriend was getting into it when I heard an "uh oh". Her tongue ring got twisted around the hair close to my balls. She started to pull, I started to scream. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 029

You deserved it 1 804

By lovely - 19/12/2011 06:43 - Netherlands

Today, while having sex, my girlfriend suddenly broke down and started crying. Apparently, when I'm horny, my face reminds her of her dead dog. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 593

You deserved it 4 593

Hot revenge

By Anonymous - 30/05/2022 00:01

Today, halfway through a blowjob, my girlfriend bit my penis because she suddenly decided that she was still annoyed at me for an argument we had last week. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 369

You deserved it 337

Timing

By Anonymous - 18/03/2017 07:00 - United States - Westerville

Today, my girlfriend was giving me a blowjob. All of a sudden, she stopped and said, "What's that thing at the back of your throat called?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 638

You deserved it 1 200

Hidden

By bootyislife - 16/06/2015 20:01 - United States - Lynnwood

Today, my girlfriend made me put a blanket over my head while giving me a blowjob because she didn't like the faces I was making. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 690

You deserved it 7 403

By Anonymous - 30/12/2015 15:21 - Canada - Aurora

Today, my girlfriend gave me my first ever blowjob. It felt like she was skinning my dick alive with her teeth. I had to pretend to finish myself off in the bathroom and tell her it was because I didn't want her to have to swallow. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 181

You deserved it 5 580

By noname - 04/12/2008 05:55 - France

Today, after having waited three long months, my shy girlfriend finally gave me a blowjob. Everything was going really well until I said, "Wow, you're really talented. Anyone would think you've been practicing your whole life." FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 658

You deserved it 61 890

Repetitive

By justgreat - 24/03/2012 02:30 - United States - Opa Locka

Today, my girlfriend fell asleep while giving me head. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 624

You deserved it 6 231

By Anonymous - 02/01/2012 17:30 - United States

Today, my girlfriend was giving me a hand job when she started crying. Despite my pleas for her to stop and attempts to comfort her, she insisted that she continue. I feel like a monster. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 304

You deserved it 7 896

SkoomaKi 27

Friday 14 September 2012 9:12

It's that small?

kimmi41509 10

Friday 14 September 2012 9:14

Well at least you know she gives amazing ******** effortlessly, since it's obvious her mind was elsewhere.

Comments

crywf312 4

Friday 21 September 2012 15:43

and down went the penis that could.

maybso 0

Wednesday 26 September 2012 11:48

you: "whats wrong?!?" her: "i went black sorry i cnt go back"

sk8rgrl1303 4

Wednesday 5 December 2012 2:26

I've done that! break down while blowing a guy, that is... i didn't like him, really.

giannalsf 9

Wednesday 25 June 2014 23:49

Why did she have a mental break down??

allifay3 3

Monday 1 September 2014 21:55

sucks to suck

kayhew 10

Tuesday 15 December 2015 19:25

You poor ******* baby. You should care about her emotions more so than getting sucked off.

SiraSiemens 21

Wednesday 8 June 2016 11:23

oh gawd... happned to me too... made me so much more horny.... very awkward sex ensued...

TheSacredRatty 18

Friday 11 May 2018 22:19

Sob on me Knob

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The Top

Today, a 7-year-old girl came up to me and told me to go fuck myself. I told her to watch her language or else I'd tell her parents. Her mom happened to be nearby and actually heard the conversation; she came up to me and told me to go fuck myself as well. FML

I agree, your life sucks 273 935

You deserved it 30 905

Today, my son is going through a rebellious phase. He's taken to wearing leather and chains, listening to death metal music all day in his room alone, and screaming at me in public places. He was fired from his part-time job for swearing at customers. My son is 29 years old. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 220

You deserved it 13 921

The Top

Today, it was my first day as a mailman. One of the houses got a bunch of cards, and the owner coincidentally opened the door as I arrived. So I said to the owner that someone in the house must really be popular. He replied, "She died this Tuesday." FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 310

You deserved it 6 628

Today, I got a call at 4 in the morning from the security company, saying someone had broken into my workplace. I drove an hour out there, only to find out it was a rat that had set off the alarm. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 558

You deserved it 3 365

Today, my child is so super clingy and needy, I have to sit and watch her bounce on the trampoline attentatively or else face hours and hours of whining. She's like the Screamapillar from the Simpsons. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 596

You deserved it 1 500

Today, my love life evolved. My wife left me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 447

You deserved it 32

Today, during dinner with my wife's family, my daughter suddenly yelled, "DADDY TICKLES MOMMY'S BUM BUM!" I don't think I've ever received dirtier glares in my life. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 579

You deserved it 2 783

Today, I contemplated leaving my husband because his best friend is overbearing and doesn't respect the boundaries of our relationship, all while talking bad about me to him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 837

You deserved it 143