Birthday and Drugs: Today, it's my 18th birthday. I called my parents and they told...

By alrightsheryl - 28/03/2009 16:40 - United States

Today, it's my 18th birthday. I called my parents and they told me that they found weed in the guest house, so they called my boarding school to drug test me. It wasn't my weed. They didn't even say, "Happy Birthday." FML

I agree, your life sucks 70 618

You deserved it 4 899

Thanksgiving: Turkeys and Skids
Family meals that turn absurd, because Thanksgiving is also about laughing at little disasters. More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 16/08/2019 06:00

Today, I came home to my parents holding my marijuana. They told me that I had the stupidest hiding place ever, and that I was, "not only a pothead, but a dumbfuck pothead." FML

I agree, your life sucks 689

You deserved it 2 638

By lehonX9 - 06/06/2015 09:11 - Germany - Hanover

Today, my mom found my weed stash and went berserk, grounding me and saying she's going to have my bedroom door removed. Less than an hour later, I found her laughing and smoking the same stash with my dad in the backyard. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 816

You deserved it 9 725

By Armstrong - 18/04/2015 23:55 - United States - Brownsville

Today, I found out that the only reason my parents have been letting me hang out with my friends so late is so they can search my room for drugs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 548

You deserved it 3 468

Sweet Sixteen

By Anonymous - 17/09/2021 13:59 - Netherlands

Today, it's my 16th birthday. My parents forgot about it, and planned a weekend out of town. I was alone on my birthday. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 082

You deserved it 97

Stoner

By Alyssa - 13/02/2012 00:01 - United States

Today, my parents were out, so I lit up my first ever joint. I got so stoned out of my mind that when my dad came back home and asked what the smell was, I said a stray cat had left an upper-decker in the toilet. He found the joint in my room, and now I'm grounded for the rest of the school year. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 849

You deserved it 83 228

Such a narc

By hatetheroommate - 16/04/2009 18:43 - United States

Today, I called the campus police "anonymously" while my roommate was away and told them about her weed stash because I was tired of her smoking in our room all the time. She had taken her weed to a friend's and got off scot-free. I have a hearing Monday for the Adderall they found in my desk. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 788

You deserved it 130 310

By ironyisabitch - 02/06/2012 05:43 - United States - Rohnert Park

Today, my parents grounded me for finding their stash of weed. The irony is killing me right now. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 336

You deserved it 3 084

Legalize it

By Anonymous - 25/07/2021 15:01 - Mexico - Mexico

Today, after arriving, I was told that there will be mandatory drug tests for everybody at my work. Yesterday, I did joints at a friend's party, as it was her birthday. I'm fucked. FML

I agree, your life sucks 419

You deserved it 1 474

By ugh - 01/12/2015 03:52 - Canada - Lethbridge

Today, my mother went through my bag and found what she thought was rolling papers. I was yelled at and called a stupid pothead with no future. They were facial blotting papers. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 656

You deserved it 1 584

Bad influence

By BigSister - 13/09/2009 18:19 - United States

Today, my 15 year-old sister came home at 4 a.m. totally stoned. My parents treated her really nicely and woke me up. I'm now grounded until I go college for being a bad influence. I volunteer at schools to talk about drug abuse. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 048

You deserved it 3 400

DeeJayD 0

Saturday 28 March 2009 20:35

Wait a minute. You're at boarding school. It was in the guest house. What's wrong with this picture? Your parents are either just assholes, or phenomenally stupid.

dudewithface 0

Saturday 28 March 2009 20:21

happy birthday :)

Comments

Phillay632 0

Saturday 28 March 2009 20:45

Aww, poor baby. Given that your parents are wealthy enough to own a guest house, I'm sure you were expecting a new BMW for your 18th birthday. I can see how you'd be devastated. That's rough. FYL.

lhazz11 23

Friday 22 February 2013 14:55

Maybe you missed the fact that they forgot his birthday in the first place.

SixthSinEnvy 39

Thursday 7 July 2016 0:46

Someone sounds jealous...

crazy_bananas 31

Saturday 8 October 2016 2:39

Aww poor baby, it sounds like you're a jealous little bitch :')

genius_man16 0

Saturday 28 March 2009 20:47

#9 i think the parents were assuming he just had it and was saving it for when he got home or something. I do agree thought that it's pretty dumb of them to do that. I understand that parents want their kids to stay clean but really? i mean, if they found the weed at home then all they had to do was throw it away and not even say anything.

UrLifeDoesntSuck 0

Saturday 28 March 2009 20:47

@11 They only got him an Audi. :'( @12 I'd have not said anything and toked up myself.

Pandarsenic 0

Saturday 28 March 2009 20:48

Happy birthday, your parents are retarded.

lolyouareanidiot 0

Saturday 28 March 2009 20:50

The fact that you are at a boarding school should have tipped you off that your parents hate you.

memyselfandi_fml 0

Saturday 28 March 2009 20:55

#5 OP probably just wanted to hear some nice things from his parents on his birthday. who doesn't???? And it's his 18th!! And, he IS at boarding school. Not like he's at home. So cut him some slack! Yea he's loaded but that really doesn't have anything to do with the fml post now does it. (i've assumed that the OP is a guy for grammatical purposes)

invindia93 0

Saturday 28 March 2009 21:01

Get over it. I haven't gotten birthday presents or a "happy birthday" in 3 years. I'm 15 now.

hobbsicle805 0

Wednesday 27 July 2011 7:13

well, a big FYL to you!

mirandasanda 1

Saturday 8 March 2014 20:53

i gotta say thats pretty unfair to you..... even if there isnt any presents at least saying happy birthday shoulf be expected.....

redhusk89 0

Saturday 28 March 2009 21:01

#16 is right ask anyone in college or on Facebook people call to say "hey it's my bday what are you up to?" maybe he called because his folks expect it. Some people actually like their folks (I still call mine at least three times a week). OP just get the test then go to a party get a bottle of chivas ( I would guess that if you're at a boarding school you can spring for the cost) then take a bunch of pictures send them to your folks with the caption "my drug of choice" obviously this isn't a good idea and I'm kidding but there are multiple ways of getting back at them for this over reaction.

UrLifeDoesntSuck 0

Saturday 28 March 2009 21:02

@16, my point was, he should have waited for his parents to call him. Nobody calls somebody on their own birthday just to get them to say, "happy birthday".