Miscellaneous: Today, it's my birthday. The only thing I got was a coupon for...

By michellenKG - 23/01/2012 05:05 - United States

Today, it's my birthday. The only thing I got was a coupon for a couples acupuncture session from my sister. I'm single and have an extreme fear of needles. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 213

You deserved it 2 644

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Same thing different taste

Happy birthday

By Leah Magers - 27/03/2024 14:00 - United States

Today, it's my birthday. My birthday present was a pelvic exam, and not even the good kind of pelvic exam. Woo hoo! FML

I agree, your life sucks 376

You deserved it 102

Happy…

By Anonymous - 01/12/2010 23:02 - United States

Today, it was my birthday. My parents got me a box of cupcakes. My brother got me a deck of cards. My aunt got me a brochure on how to quit smoking. I have diabetes, I don't play cards, and I don't smoke. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 383

You deserved it 3 558

By Anonymous - 18/08/2019 16:00 - United Kingdom - Thornbury

Today, the only "Happy birthday!" I got was from the cake I bought for myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 889

You deserved it 158

It's all too much

By Anonymous - 23/06/2024 09:00 - United States

Today, it's my birthday. My gifts were a stomach bug from my kid and a confession to a year-long affair from my (now soon-to-be-ex) husband of 21 years. Nobody even got me a card. FML

I agree, your life sucks 640

You deserved it 99

By bannana0zoom - 03/03/2012 08:06 - Canada

Today, it's my birthday. My mom got me a gym membership and a bunch of clothes that are a few sizes too small. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 014

You deserved it 7 976

By Anonymous - 18/12/2010 05:21 - United States

Today, it's my sixteenth birthday. The only gift I got was from myself: a positive pregnancy test. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 687

You deserved it 91 590

By dentistftw - 08/08/2009 04:06 - United States

Today, it's my 22nd birthday. The only person who remembered was the dentist who sent me a postcard in the mail. I stopped going to him four years ago. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 982

You deserved it 2 901

Thanks, I guess…

By Anonymous - 21/09/2013 18:10 - United States

Today, it's my birthday. I don't mind crappy gifts, but I have to wonder why the hell my boyfriend bought me a home enema kit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 141

You deserved it 4 170

By oh well - 10/03/2015 13:27 - United States

Today, the only birthday present I got was a gift card to a steak house. Not a bad gift, but I'm a vegan. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 807

You deserved it 8 439

By Kensie - 04/03/2009 21:48 - United States

Today, it is my twin sisters and my birthday. We both wanted a day at the spa for our birthday. My sister got a gift certificate to the spa, while I got mouthwash and a $20 gift card to Target. My mom said it would cost too much to make me pretty also. FML

I agree, your life sucks 121 773

You deserved it 5 987

jellitonoctopus 19

Monday 23 January 2012 12:03

Needles to say you did not go, right?

Glitterhinoceros 14

Monday 23 January 2012 12:06

Needles have never been the same after that Final Destination movie...

Comments

Foxy_On_Fire 21

Monday 23 January 2012 17:47

It's my birthday to!! 1/23/90 and I'm 22 today. I woke up to my dog and a dead bird. Happy birthday!

eli352 0

Monday 23 January 2012 17:56

Hey at least someone thought of you. Lol.

lilboybleau56 1

Monday 23 January 2012 20:01

My birthday too so sorry

EduJav321 24

Monday 23 January 2012 20:20

Acupunture.... See if you can exchange for a massage

anettes 7

Monday 23 January 2012 20:35

aww, well, happy birthday . heh

mama2b3 20

Monday 23 January 2012 21:27

Your sister's a bitch.

MorePewpewLessQQ 5

Monday 23 January 2012 21:31

Happy birthday! :)

ilove80smetal 8

Monday 23 January 2012 21:46

Sack up pansy. It'll help your stress go away.

instinctlove 1

Monday 23 January 2012 23:33

It's my birthday too!!! And I just got some roses and a Jessica Simpson jacket. Single too we have that in common lol Happy Birthday!

soccercreator7 3

Monday 23 January 2012 23:36

Like Dr.pepper, "trust me, I'm a doctor".

Keywords

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The Top

Today, my friend got a text showing his girlfriend cheating on him. Sounds like his FML, but he was at my house. He then worked his way through a bottle of my whisky and went into a drunken rage. He threw my furniture through windows, punched holes in the wall, and smashed stuff until I had to call the cops. FML

I agree, your life sucks 699

You deserved it 113

Today, I went to see a movie with my best friend, and there were three girls loudly discussing blowjob techniques. I texted my boyfriend about how gross the conversation was. His reply was, "Pay attention. You might learn something." FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 367

You deserved it 29 693

The Top

Today, I've applied to 300 jobs in the past 4 months, gotten 7 interview, 2 of which have gone to a third round and I'm still unemployed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 758

You deserved it 86

Today, a customer at work said his table was dirty. I asked which one he was sitting at so I could clean it for him. For some bizarre reason he got pissed and called my manager over. He ended up reporting us to corporate, and my manager got written up. He's blaming me for everything. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 843

You deserved it 3 650

Today, I was at a party, and someone called the cops on us. I dove into a bush that turned out to have thorns. I got multiple cuts and a sprained wrist, and got arrested anyway. Its kind of hard to hide from the police when you're screaming in agony. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 329

You deserved it 27 973

Today, it's the 16th day of my period. FML

I agree, your life sucks 72 304

You deserved it 4 896

Today, I was working at the pharmacy and had a older man come in. He was buying Viagra and, by law, we are required to ask if the patient had any questions. His lovely response was, "When you coming over so I can test this stuff out?" His wife and daughter thought it was hilarious. I could've died. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 864

You deserved it 645

Today, I was babysitting a five year-old boy. Somehow the topic of relationships came up, and he asked me if I had a boyfriend. When I told him that I was single, he got all excited and asked if he could be my boyfriend. It would have been cute… except he was the first guy to ever ask me out. I'm 18. FML

I agree, your life sucks 66 897

You deserved it 6 208