Miscellaneous: Today, it's my birthday. What did I get? A 12-hour work shift,...

By Anonymous - 10/07/2015 22:00 - United States - San Francisco

Today, it's my birthday. What did I get? A 12-hour work shift, after spending an almost sleepless night in a computer chair because my bed is infested with bed bugs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 650

You deserved it 2 797

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Same thing different taste

Happy birthday to me

By lukey101 - 20/07/2023 02:00 - Australia

Today, it’s my birthday. My boss treated me to a day off work, except my mother called at 12:01am drunk as hell screaming, “Happy birthday” down the phone. When I finally fell back asleep, I awoke to my boss asking me to come in after all. FML

I agree, your life sucks 825

You deserved it 115

By Juanald - 05/11/2017 05:00

Today, after being moved to three different employer-provided apartments because they all had mold and electrical problems, I requested a bigger bed. The bed they delivered had bedbugs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 674

You deserved it 380

Alexa, play "Unhappy Birthday" by The Smiths

By Anonymous - 24/03/2022 14:00 - Germany

Today, it's my birthday. I spent the day doing nothing but chores, amongst which baking my own birthday cake. I was then so exhausted that I couldn't even stand my own company, so I ate the cake alone on the couch, watching TV. It didn’t taste great. FML

I agree, your life sucks 971

You deserved it 177

Happy birthday!

By sambo99 - This FML is from back in 2010 but it's good stuff - United Kingdom

Today, it's my birthday. So far I have received: the news that my parents are divorcing, a dead bird and a pile of shit left on my bed (courtesy of the cat), a rash all over my face, and some slippers from my boyfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 993

You deserved it 3 368

By Anonameow - 19/07/2016 13:49

Today, I woke up to an unexpected surprise for my birthday. It wasn't cake, nor ice cream. It was hundreds of baby spiders crawling all over me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 889

You deserved it 2 506

By Birthday blues - 13/12/2018 22:00

Today, it's my birthday. I lit my birthday candles on the cake I made myself and blew them out alone, while my worthless husband sat on the couch stuffing Doritos in his face. My present? He sprayed Lysol in the bathroom after he took a dump. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 036

You deserved it 601

Social safety nets, now!

By Anonymous - 26/08/2022 04:00 - Malta - Tarxien

Today, it was my birthday. I spent a pleasant day with one of my best friends, then I spent four hours in the emergency room because my husband broke his foot while working. We're both self-employed, so production is going to fall 6 weeks behind. FML

I agree, your life sucks 834

You deserved it 142

By fml - 21/02/2015 02:54 - United States - Denver

Today, three days after finally having a bed to sleep on, I woke up with multiple bedbug bites. I can't use my blankets, wear any of my clothes and it's back to sleeping on the floor for me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 389

You deserved it 2 630

Nice way to end the day

By welp - 27/12/2015 05:08 - United States - Grass Lake

Today, I worked a short shift at work, getting sent home early because it was slow. In the time I was gone, my family decided surprise me by rearranging my room and put in my new desk. They also surprised me when I learned that they'd spilled a slushie on my very expensive computer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 552

You deserved it 1 356

Surprise!

By WitchQueenLiz - 28/06/2009 08:25 - United States

Today, it was my birthday. Normally, the little office I work in throws a big party for every employee on their special day, but nothing was done for me, not even a "Happy Birthday" came my way. I didn't want to be rude, so I stayed silent. They didn't do anything because I was getting laid off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 65 764

You deserved it 3 181

ChopSuey444 20

Saturday 11 July 2015 13:34

Happy birthday, anyway, OP!

MrConcise 34

Saturday 11 July 2015 15:50

Can I just spill your glass of water so it's empty instead of half full?

Comments

91hayek 31

Saturday 11 July 2015 14:06

Happy Birthday anyway.

kutchbabe 13

Saturday 11 July 2015 14:10

Sorry about that, happy birthday. Big hugs from me!

gosh_mate 30

Saturday 11 July 2015 14:15

Happy birthday for what it's worth!!

Wakachulak 22

Saturday 11 July 2015 14:19

Sleep on the floor man!

SnowxSakura 17

Saturday 11 July 2015 14:21

That won't help much, once you get bed bugs, they'll end up infesting your entire home. Not to mention they're extremely difficult to get rid of. OP needs to call pest control, as there's a good chance their home will need to be tented.

Wakachulak 22

Saturday 11 July 2015 22:05

No, they will not. Bed bugs need a certain temperature to survive. Lower it, and they die. That's why you don't find them above a certain altitude.

boxergirl1054 16

Saturday 11 July 2015 14:24

Happy Birthday!

whitnayfortooh 29

Saturday 11 July 2015 15:20

bed bugs are the worst.

trellz17 19

Saturday 11 July 2015 15:50

Happy Birthday buddy

rt_lilmstar 21

Saturday 11 July 2015 16:55

Sorry to hear that, OP. To fix one problem: Next time you're out of the house for an extended period of time, turn the heat up to 125°+ and it'll kill the bed bugs. It will be hot when you get back, but it's worth it. :)

PhinIt2WinIt 24

Saturday 11 July 2015 17:14

happy birthday at least. there should be some good side to your day OP

lvg_fml 10

Saturday 11 July 2015 17:25

Mattress covers will keep them from getting out But wash everything in hot water and make sure they didn't spread to a chair or sofa. Diatomaceous earth works well to get rid of bugs