Maybe it's her way of trying to "spice things up"? She might have thought it was hot, it depends on what kind of relationship you two have. But it isn't necessarily a bad thing.

now you can literally F your life

So she got you a fleshlight I'm assuming?

Wow, guys, there is nothing redundant about "self-masturbation". Have half of you never heard of mutual masturbation?

Well said #31, beat me to it. Fools.

I don't see the issue with this gift... You are clearly taking it the wrong way.

Either your wife is saying she doesn't want to have sex with you, or your wife isn't very good at thinking things through. Either way, fyl.

I think #111 hit the nail on the head. You all could be taking it the wrong way. Stop what you're typing right now and start using your brain. He put this on FML. Why would it be an FML if, like #111 said, she's just getting him the toy because she acknowledges that she can't always be there for him sexually? Therefore, it's most likely for the other reason-the "you're terrible at sex!" one, otherwise this wouldn't be on FML. Either that, or the OP probably took it the wrong, wrong, wrong way. In that case, all I can say is communication is the #1 priority in any relationship.

this kid that goes to my school named cameron is and expert at masturbating

safety first! how considerate of your wife....