By TeeJay - 01/06/2009 14:06 - United States

Spicy
Today, it was my birthday, and my wife gave me a sex toy for self-masturbation. She even showed me how to properly use it so I can masturbate myself. FML
I agree, your life sucks 64 473
You deserved it 7 480
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Same thing different taste

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Top comments

AndelleRae 9

Self-masturbation? Is there any other kind? Lol. I'm sorry. I'm not usually a grammar Nazi on these websites, but I felt like being a smart ass. Maybe she got it for you to spice things up in your sex life? She might like the idea of you using it. I don't know. I don't really think this is an FML, but I'm sorry that you were unhappy with it.

83 11
Eresbel 0

This isn't an FML, this is just an idiot who doesn't realize what a nice wife he has. She doesn't have to have sex with you whenever you want, but she still wants you to be happy and satisfied, so she buys you an aid to help you out whenever she can't. That's thoughtful and kind. F your wife's life because she's got such a prick for a husband.

52 9

Comments

Booda13 0

she's cheating on you

0 1
katybaker 0

u are such an asshole. I can't believe u are ungrateful u insensitive jackass. u should be ashamed of putting that up as a FML.

0 1
katie72 6

There are some guys who would be uncomfortable with their women having a *****. But they have self esteem issues or whatever. They feel like it's competition, and they're not good enough. It could totally mean either thing.

0 0
Lilo4life 26

It's called lotion and a hand for you guys...

0 0
shotgun_girl 17

Am I the only one confused by the term "self" masturbation? ALL masturbation is self inflicted right?

0 0