Work: Today, it was my first day working at a library. I expected it...

By fishingforubies2 - 24/07/2015 14:02 - Aruba - Oranjestad

Today, it was my first day working at a library. I expected it to be fun and peaceful, not to end up having to call the cops on a guy who started jerking off into a book. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 984

You deserved it 1 845

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Same thing different taste

Risky business

By PleaseCalmDownThisIsALibrary - 30/06/2023 16:00 - United States - Columbia

Today, I'm just a simple librarian. Last week, we had to call the cops on two separate aggressive patrons. Today, I had to call the cops yet again. WTF? FML

I agree, your life sucks 897

You deserved it 88

It wasn't me

By weliveanddie14 - 07/05/2009 20:27 - United States

Today, I was at the library. I went near the computer section when I saw this man cursing and pounding his fists on a computer. He left. I thought I'd check it out. As I sat down, a librarian came over with the security guard and pointed at me. I'm now being fined for destroying public property. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 916

You deserved it 15 675

By alwaysxgettingxshitxon - 03/07/2009 00:18 - United States

Today, I was working at the library. Some punks thought it would be funny to shit in a book, close it and return it in the drop box. The fact that it was sitting outside in the ninety degree heat for a couple hours did not help the stench; it was everywhere and I had to clean the mess. FML

I agree, your life sucks 60 221

You deserved it 2 948

By Anonymous - 21/05/2019 12:00

Today, while volunteering at my local library, a guy who smelled like crap followed me around all day. Every time I would bend over to shelf a book, he would start grunting. Apparently, he's going to be at the library every day. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 948

You deserved it 106

Throw the book at him

By Jen - 30/04/2019 20:00

Today, I got fired from my job at a library for hitting an old man with a book. In my defence, I had asked him about a massive water stain on a book he'd returned. He told me it was his cum, wanted to know if it excited me and then tried to touch my boobs. Dirty old pervert. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 229

You deserved it 280

By rubgy_lover - 27/06/2013 15:02 - Canada - Surrey

Today, at work, I politely asked a patron to be quieter; I was hit in the face. I work in a library. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 109

You deserved it 3 922

Getting some action

By hugadyle - 18/04/2020 14:00

Today, I took a trip to the library's public computer section to get some important work done. After a bit of work, I went to stretch only to see that the man next to me was watching some adult films on his computer and discreetly touching himself. I still had 58 minutes of computer time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 623

You deserved it 184

My short hair!

By Trama1201 - 04/01/2020 14:00 - United States - Boston

Today, I went to the library to bring back some books, I walked up to the counter and the librarian turned to me and said "What can I do for you young man?" I'm a girl. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 780

You deserved it 330

Freakout

By LoLWut?? nd Why?? - 16/04/2013 04:01 - United States

Today, I went to a library to return a book that I've had for years. After a heated discussion with the librarian, not only did she charge me over a hundred dollars for the book, she also called the cops to escort me out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 603

You deserved it 47 675

By FallCameEarly - 27/02/2014 06:21 - United States - Alhambra

Today, at my job as a librarian at an old library, I was shelving books. Things were great until one entire bookshelf fell over. The damage wasn't too bad. Then the rest fell down. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 117

You deserved it 3 881

Welshite 39

Saturday 25 July 2015 1:25

Gives a whole new meaning to the term "book worm".

wheresmymary 22

Saturday 25 July 2015 1:25

He was just trying to keep your first day interesting

Comments

XtremeHeat 14

Saturday 25 July 2015 5:58

Even worse: Tammy works there.

RedPillSucks 31

Saturday 25 July 2015 6:03

I think he mistook "I ******* love books" to mean "I love ******* books"

Dexter83_fml 17

Saturday 25 July 2015 6:25

That sucks op I guess the books are pre-loved

dirtbikeguy 14

Saturday 25 July 2015 6:46

sounds like a sticky situation

samlovesham1234 9

Saturday 25 July 2015 7:36

If it was one from the Children or Teens section, I'd be even more grossed out.

Zmanzem4 17

Saturday 25 July 2015 8:55

Was the book Fifty Shades of Grey?

xluciferx666 21

Saturday 25 July 2015 9:25

the old library snug and tug a classic

joshi42 16

Saturday 25 July 2015 10:05

Did you at least slam this book shut on his ****?

PhinIt2WinIt 24

Tuesday 28 July 2015 14:32

I doubt anyone would want to go near the "intense reader"

Silk_Routes 14

Saturday 25 July 2015 10:06

book worm

DedeleMan 21

Saturday 25 July 2015 10:30

what's wrong with people these days?

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The Top

USA, USA, USA, and more precisely Philadelphia. That's where we're landing today. When I first discovered Justin, on 9gag or an awesome website like that, I knew exactly this little guy was perfect to fit in the FML illustrated section. His crazy, c...

I agree, your life sucks 8

You deserved it 8

Today, a blowjob from my fiancée turned into exchanged oral, which turned into mutual masturbation while watching porn, which then turned into me being kicked out of the room because it was "weird" with me watching. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 347

You deserved it 403

The Top

Today, my girlfriend's grandparents walked in on us getting intimate. She immediately ran to the bathroom, leaving me alone with them. They only speak Spanish, which is not my first language. We discussed the movie she and I were "watching", all while I was naked under the sheets. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 226

You deserved it 464

Today, I hooked up with a guy on Tinder, but halfway through sex, his wife came home. As I stumbled back into my own house, I realised with my new lingerie and two lots of taxi fares, I’d spent £170 and all it got me was one glass of wine, one mouthful of cum, and a black eye from his wife. FML

I agree, your life sucks 726

You deserved it 1 593

Today, after my wife said I could decide what to do with our spare room, I decided to make a home gym. She hasn't stopped ranting about "patriarchal diet culture" and "unrealistic body expectations" since. I just wanted to get fit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 129

You deserved it 126

Today, my toddler repeated a very inappropriate word I'd said when I'd stubbed my toe. He chose to do this in the middle of a crowded supermarket, loudly, and repeatedly. Now the whole town probably thinks I have questionable parenting skills. FML

I agree, your life sucks 359

You deserved it 208

Today, one of our local news stations decided it was the perfect day to film random people at the beach. I saw myself on TV, holding hands with my side chick. I hope my girlfriend doesn’t watch the news. FML

I agree, your life sucks 170

You deserved it 4 020

Today, I was walking down the street with my friend, one I walk down every day, and I saw a really cute guy nearby. I felt like I looked better than usual, so I turned my head to offer a smile, and walked right into a pole. The impact was strong enough to send me falling to the floor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 177

You deserved it 46 908