Work: Today, it was my first day working at a library. I expected it...

By fishingforubies2 - 24/07/2015 14:02 - Aruba - Oranjestad

Today, it was my first day working at a library. I expected it to be fun and peaceful, not to end up having to call the cops on a guy who started jerking off into a book. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 984

You deserved it 1 845

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Same thing different taste

Risky business

By PleaseCalmDownThisIsALibrary - 30/06/2023 16:00 - United States - Columbia

Today, I'm just a simple librarian. Last week, we had to call the cops on two separate aggressive patrons. Today, I had to call the cops yet again. WTF? FML

I agree, your life sucks 897

You deserved it 88

It wasn't me

By weliveanddie14 - 07/05/2009 20:27 - United States

Today, I was at the library. I went near the computer section when I saw this man cursing and pounding his fists on a computer. He left. I thought I'd check it out. As I sat down, a librarian came over with the security guard and pointed at me. I'm now being fined for destroying public property. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 916

You deserved it 15 675

By alwaysxgettingxshitxon - 03/07/2009 00:18 - United States

Today, I was working at the library. Some punks thought it would be funny to shit in a book, close it and return it in the drop box. The fact that it was sitting outside in the ninety degree heat for a couple hours did not help the stench; it was everywhere and I had to clean the mess. FML

I agree, your life sucks 60 221

You deserved it 2 948

By Anonymous - 21/05/2019 12:00

Today, while volunteering at my local library, a guy who smelled like crap followed me around all day. Every time I would bend over to shelf a book, he would start grunting. Apparently, he's going to be at the library every day. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 948

You deserved it 106

Throw the book at him

By Jen - 30/04/2019 20:00

Today, I got fired from my job at a library for hitting an old man with a book. In my defence, I had asked him about a massive water stain on a book he'd returned. He told me it was his cum, wanted to know if it excited me and then tried to touch my boobs. Dirty old pervert. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 229

You deserved it 280

By rubgy_lover - 27/06/2013 15:02 - Canada - Surrey

Today, at work, I politely asked a patron to be quieter; I was hit in the face. I work in a library. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 109

You deserved it 3 922

Getting some action

By hugadyle - 18/04/2020 14:00

Today, I took a trip to the library's public computer section to get some important work done. After a bit of work, I went to stretch only to see that the man next to me was watching some adult films on his computer and discreetly touching himself. I still had 58 minutes of computer time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 623

You deserved it 184

My short hair!

By Trama1201 - 04/01/2020 14:00 - United States - Boston

Today, I went to the library to bring back some books, I walked up to the counter and the librarian turned to me and said "What can I do for you young man?" I'm a girl. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 780

You deserved it 330

Freakout

By LoLWut?? nd Why?? - 16/04/2013 04:01 - United States

Today, I went to a library to return a book that I've had for years. After a heated discussion with the librarian, not only did she charge me over a hundred dollars for the book, she also called the cops to escort me out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 603

You deserved it 47 675

By FallCameEarly - 27/02/2014 06:21 - United States - Alhambra

Today, at my job as a librarian at an old library, I was shelving books. Things were great until one entire bookshelf fell over. The damage wasn't too bad. Then the rest fell down. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 117

You deserved it 3 881

Welshite 39

Saturday 25 July 2015 1:25

Gives a whole new meaning to the term "book worm".

wheresmymary 22

Saturday 25 July 2015 1:25

He was just trying to keep your first day interesting

Comments

fleur_de_fevrier_fml 22

Saturday 25 July 2015 12:08

sounds pretty funny to me :-)

FEATHDUCK 19

Saturday 25 July 2015 14:07

"I had my dick in the world record book, but then the librarian told me to take it out." Fyl for having weird people near you OP.

icehockey14 1

Saturday 25 July 2015 15:35

Sounds like he was trying to get his dick in the Guinness Book of World Records.

Omniprism 14

Saturday 25 July 2015 18:27

Hey at least you know there will be variation in your work.

Taurus_ChicKa 36

Saturday 25 July 2015 18:40

I'm wondering what the book was. Fifty Shades of Grey? :D

xKRIEG_SCHWEINx 11

Saturday 25 July 2015 19:10

must have been 50 shades of grey

FatherPlatypus 8

Saturday 25 July 2015 19:33

I don't know... Some books are pretty sexy, I guess?

krakalacka 14

Saturday 25 July 2015 19:41

I work at a library, it's all too common. Better get used to that and many other stupid things haha

tlnorman 18

Saturday 25 July 2015 20:34

I hope you got rid of the book. Gross. Sorry OP.

suddamYOUinsane 2

Saturday 25 July 2015 22:26

He's just trying to give life to words

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The Top

Today, I was on the webcam with my boyfriend. I could see that he was on the couch, and alone, so I took off my shirt and smiled, waiting to see his reaction. He smiled at me but then kept looking in another direction. I playfully asked "What's so distracting?" His answer: "History Channel". FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 435

You deserved it 10 095

USA, USA, USA, and more precisely Philadelphia. That's where we're landing today. When I first discovered Justin, on 9gag or an awesome website like that, I knew exactly this little guy was perfect to fit in the FML illustrated section. His crazy, c...

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The Top

Today, I was "that idiot" who spent ages making a soup stock from meat and vegetables, but then while separating it forgot to put a pan under the strainer, so I poured the finished stock down the sink, leaving me with only the boiled meat and veg sat sadly in the strainer. Takeaway chinese for tea, then. FML

I agree, your life sucks 778

You deserved it 426

Today, I asked my girlfriend's father if I could marry his daughter. He smiled, shook my hand, and said "No. Now get out of my house." FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 419

You deserved it 4 852

Today, I was sitting on a rather small, uncomfortable bean bag while my friend was sitting on a nice chair. She asked if I wanted to switch seats, not so I could be more comfortable, but because she thought I was too fat and that I would burst the bean bag. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 310

You deserved it 5 113

Today, I was kicking my soccer ball with my father. My mom pulled out in the car without checking and ran into to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 971

You deserved it 1 231

Today, my husband and I hosted Easter dinner. Since I was in my own home, I breastfed without a cover. My sister-in-law stormed out in a rage, screaming that I was being obscene, and equated it to shooting heroin in front of her kids. Happy Easter indeed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 208

You deserved it 680

Today, I've been babysitting a 4 month-old for two days. This has made a great impression on my cat, because now I can't sit down without him jumping up and licking my face until I pat his butt and rock him like the baby. FML

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You deserved it 204