Love: Today, just after waking up, I caught a glimpse of my girlfriend...

By Harry Dare - 02/09/2011 16:31 - United Kingdom

Today, just after waking up, I caught a glimpse of my girlfriend in the mirror. Not knowing I was awake, she sniffed at her armpits, started gagging, then quietly came back to bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 993

You deserved it 4 322

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Same thing different taste

By hotboxed - 13/07/2019 18:30

Today, while we were sleeping, my girlfriend and I rolled to opposite sides of the bed. When I woke up, I moved closer and wrapped my arm around her. Her response was to fart in her sleep, resulting in a smell so noxious that I had no choice but to roll back to the other side. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 611

You deserved it 393

By SkinsCastSelection - 17/01/2011 09:53 - France

Today, in the middle of the night, my girlfriend whispered "Are you asleep?" I chose not to respond, to see what she'd do. She then let rip a loud, stinking fart, giggled, and went back to sleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 112

You deserved it 41 514

By jimbop - 23/05/2009 17:48 - Canada

Today, I was cuddling in bed with my girlfriend after a night of heavy drinking. She rolled towards me, looked me in the eyes and sweetly said, "I love you". Her morning breath was so bad that I had to jump up and rush to the bathroom to vomit, leaving a trail along the way. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 920

You deserved it 10 325

By pikachu - 20/01/2009 20:00 - United States

Today, my girlfriend farted in her sleep, woke me up because it was so damn loud, and my room smelt like rotten noodles for about an hour. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 580

You deserved it 4 540

By allgassedout - 04/01/2015 00:23 - United States - Sacramento

Today, I was lying in bed with my girlfriend. Trying to be romantic, I complimented her on how nice her hair smelled. She replied: "Yeah? Wait till you smell this." then let out the vilest, most nauseating fart I'd ever smelled in my life. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 397

You deserved it 7 347

By Gas-pingForAir - 19/09/2016 08:59 - United States - Columbia

Today, my girlfriend managed to trap a fart in her nightgown and carry it all the way from the bathroom, into our bedroom, and finally into our bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 788

You deserved it 1 670

Ouch!

By P0wned - 29/09/2009 21:21 - France

Today, in the middle of the night, I was punched in the face by my frightened girlfriend, who had just been awoken by her own fart. FML

I agree, your life sucks 71 981

You deserved it 5 274

Creeped out

By HadToApologize - 03/11/2009 05:20 - United States

Today, I took a shower at my girlfriend's apartment. I was wandering around, gathering my clothes when I noticed my girl doing her hair in the other room. She looked sort of peculiar, so I stood there, studying her. Half naked. I then realized it wasn't my girlfriend, but her roommate. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 380

You deserved it 23 087

Dirty sex

By Anonymous - 20/11/2022 06:00 - Canada - Burlington

Today, I was in my girlfriend's room when she walked in after getting out of the shower, wearing just a towel. She removed it and I was inches away from going down on her when I noticed she hadn’t wiped properly, either before or after her shower. She'd complained about stomach problems earlier, but regardless… FML

I agree, your life sucks 953

You deserved it 127

Really heavy sleeper

By Anonymous - 17/12/2021 01:01 - United Kingdom

Today, my girlfriend revealed that last night she decided to 'test how asleep I was' by putting her finger up my nose as far as she could. Then in my mouth. Then in my ear. Then back in my mouth. I slept through the whole thing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 899

You deserved it 144

ThatGenericGuy 6

Friday 2 September 2011 23:44

Admit it, that turned you on.

enonymous 8

Friday 2 September 2011 23:48

She probably has to put up with your Dutch ovens. Only fair

Comments

SlyTail 5

Saturday 3 September 2011 22:13

If I were in your place, this wouldve made me laugh. Its not an FML, its your love.

loah 0

Saturday 3 September 2011 22:48

lol repulsed by her own smell. I bet downstairs smells like mildew

kp4294 2

Saturday 3 September 2011 23:12

I just gagged a little bit from knowing that she didn't attempt to even put on deodorant at the very least. Or something.

JcLove8 0

Saturday 3 September 2011 23:23

bam' you should of like them lmao

annie_rc 0

Sunday 4 September 2011 2:24

Omg! She freakin rocks!

xXMudkipNoobXx 7

Sunday 4 September 2011 3:18

You know that turned you on.

hotpinkpepsi 6

Sunday 4 September 2011 3:51

omg wtf is wrong with people:Dlol

MoMoPanda 3

Sunday 4 September 2011 4:57

Maybe you should get her to shower more often or at least wear deodorant

writergirl23 19

Sunday 4 September 2011 10:13

Probably sleepwalking.

screamingmonkey 0

Sunday 4 September 2011 18:30

YDI ......for sleeping w/ a nasty skunk.....

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The Top

Today, my Thanksgiving sucks, pretty much bummed because someone dognapped my Shiba Inu as I went inside a store. I'm trying not to stress, even though all I can think of is, "Is he OK? Has he eaten?" Fuck, I miss my darn dog. The audacity of this person. Literally disheartening. Hopefully he returns to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 502

You deserved it 124

Today, are you excited for Christmas? Because I'm sure not. When I was 14, my dad got hit by a car on Christmas. At 15, my dog died. When I was 16, I got not presents. When I was 17, the Christmas tree was stolen. I wonder what's next… FML

I agree, your life sucks 481

You deserved it 97

The Top

Today, I wanted to see if the frying pan was hot. I no longer have fingerprints. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 880

You deserved it 57 443

Today, my boss called me into his office. I've been working hard doing extra work so I can get promoted. He called me in to tell me I'm to reliable in my current position, so I won't be moving up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 345

You deserved it 334

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me because he wanted to make the most of his 1 month X-Box Live coupon. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 402

You deserved it 7 019

Today, my class had a debate about religion. My classmate said that Christians couldn't be circumcised because "only Jewish people are". Without thinking, I said it isn't true because I'm Christian and I’m circumcised. I accidentally gave the whole class a mental picture of my dick. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 291

You deserved it 1 234

Today, I asked my doctor out on a date. He had his nurse turn me down. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 068

You deserved it 3 920

Today, I learned that "unskilled labor" does not mean people who are bad at their jobs. I’m 22. FML

I agree, your life sucks 281

You deserved it 996