Love: Today, just after waking up, I caught a glimpse of my girlfriend...

FML for mobile
Free

By Harry Dare - 02/09/2011 16:31 - United Kingdom

Today, just after waking up, I caught a glimpse of my girlfriend in the mirror. Not knowing I was awake, she sniffed at her armpits, started gagging, then quietly came back to bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 995

You deserved it 4 323

May Day: Lily of the Valley and Misunderstandings
When lilies of the valley bring good luck... or not! Discover the stories behind every little bell! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

By hotboxed - 13/07/2019 18:30

Today, while we were sleeping, my girlfriend and I rolled to opposite sides of the bed. When I woke up, I moved closer and wrapped my arm around her. Her response was to fart in her sleep, resulting in a smell so noxious that I had no choice but to roll back to the other side. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 621

You deserved it 397

By SkinsCastSelection - 17/01/2011 09:53 - France

Today, in the middle of the night, my girlfriend whispered "Are you asleep?" I chose not to respond, to see what she'd do. She then let rip a loud, stinking fart, giggled, and went back to sleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 115

You deserved it 41 527

By jimbop - 23/05/2009 17:48 - Canada

Today, I was cuddling in bed with my girlfriend after a night of heavy drinking. She rolled towards me, looked me in the eyes and sweetly said, "I love you". Her morning breath was so bad that I had to jump up and rush to the bathroom to vomit, leaving a trail along the way. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 928

You deserved it 10 331

By pikachu - 20/01/2009 20:00 - United States

Today, my girlfriend farted in her sleep, woke me up because it was so damn loud, and my room smelt like rotten noodles for about an hour. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 587

You deserved it 4 546

By allgassedout - 04/01/2015 00:23 - United States - Sacramento

Today, I was lying in bed with my girlfriend. Trying to be romantic, I complimented her on how nice her hair smelled. She replied: "Yeah? Wait till you smell this." then let out the vilest, most nauseating fart I'd ever smelled in my life. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 402

You deserved it 7 348

By Gas-pingForAir - 19/09/2016 08:59 - United States - Columbia

Today, my girlfriend managed to trap a fart in her nightgown and carry it all the way from the bathroom, into our bedroom, and finally into our bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 795

You deserved it 1 673

Ouch!

By P0wned - 29/09/2009 21:21 - France

Today, in the middle of the night, I was punched in the face by my frightened girlfriend, who had just been awoken by her own fart. FML

I agree, your life sucks 71 987

You deserved it 5 275

Creeped out

By HadToApologize - 03/11/2009 05:20 - United States

Today, I took a shower at my girlfriend's apartment. I was wandering around, gathering my clothes when I noticed my girl doing her hair in the other room. She looked sort of peculiar, so I stood there, studying her. Half naked. I then realized it wasn't my girlfriend, but her roommate. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 391

You deserved it 23 101

Really heavy sleeper

By Anonymous - 17/12/2021 01:01 - United Kingdom

Today, my girlfriend revealed that last night she decided to 'test how asleep I was' by putting her finger up my nose as far as she could. Then in my mouth. Then in my ear. Then back in my mouth. I slept through the whole thing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 904

You deserved it 144

By coolhand - 29/08/2009 15:13 - United States

Today, I waited for my girlfriend to get in the shower before I stripped down to try and seduce her. I got ready, threw open the door and went in. I walked in on her taking a dump. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 519

You deserved it 67 474

ThatGenericGuy 6

Friday 2 September 2011 23:44

Admit it, that turned you on.

enonymous 8

Friday 2 September 2011 23:48

She probably has to put up with your Dutch ovens. Only fair

Comments

jflores43 0

Sunday 4 September 2011 20:30

Awh... Dude that's gross :S

Naeeboo 4

Monday 5 September 2011 2:50

wow, so unlady like. if yuh sniffed it and saw dhat it stank, shoulda washed dem nasty thangs lol

amarv01 1

Tuesday 6 September 2011 3:04

uhhhh… ew?

Daralea 21

Tuesday 6 September 2011 20:42

tell her you had a nightmare about a skunk crawling in bed with you

briissocoollike 8

Sunday 18 September 2011 20:54

How is this an FML even girls gotta smell their armpits every once in awhile.

rapunzellouise 11

Saturday 1 October 2011 19:40

eeeeew! :P

aerogxt 7

Saturday 8 October 2011 0:19

You scratch your balls then sniff your ballsweat. Shut up and live with it. :3

Janawa 22

Tuesday 20 March 2012 1:50

Somehow I find this extremely hilarious.

SkoomaKi 27

Sunday 13 May 2012 22:46

Awwww hell no... Confront her, that's just wrong.

Valentine_Beauty 5

Saturday 22 September 2012 3:53

hahahah not a big deal...

FML on Facebook

Keywords

Embarrassing Relatable Work Health Sports Scary Dentist Management Kids Parents Awkward Covid Exams Cops Cheating Love Break-ups Grandparents Cute Miscellaneous Neighbours Annoying Birthday Weird Intimacy Sex Movies Injury Friends Food

The Top

Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex. Feeling goofy, I thought it’d be funny to try to reenact that horrible sex scene from the movie Showgirls. I threw my body back, but completely lost my balance and smashed my head on the headboard. I ended up with a bad concussion and a huge hospital bill. FML

I agree, your life sucks 850

You deserved it 2 182

Today, while I was driving home, some jackass in an open-top sports car overtook us and flipped me off. Just as I overtook him in turn, my wife rolled down her window, pulled out her tampon, and launched it at the kid. I'm not sure who was more horrified, me or him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 352

You deserved it 4 851

The Top

Today, instead of reaching for some unhealthy food, I tried to eat some dates instead. It was all fine until I bit one in half and saw a rather large, squirming maggot inside. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 333

You deserved it 2 016

Today, at my house party, I caught my boyfriend having sex with my best friend. His excuse? He wanted to be better in bed for me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 397

You deserved it 3 519

Today, while lying in bed with my girlfriend, she was grabbing the fat on my stomach. I said to her, "Quit touching my fat!" She replied, "So don't touch you at all?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 908

You deserved it 25 003

Today, as a supervisor at a water park, several clients came up to me and complained about a topless girl in our wave pool. I found the girl, called her out, and politely told her that she was not allowed in the pool without a top. "She" was a fat 15 year-old boy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 58 774

You deserved it 7 931

Today, my fiancée "thought I should know" that she has a $125,000 student loan debt. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 423

You deserved it 4 757

Today, I couldn't contain my laughter when a patient told me she'd named her unborn daughter Twinkie. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 261

You deserved it 5 380

Same thing different taste

Ouch!

Creeped out

Really heavy sleeper

Top comments

Comments