Miscellaneous: Today, late for work, I called my dad to see if he knew where...

By keyless - 14/04/2012 15:20 - United Kingdom - Aberdeen

Today, late for work, I called my dad to see if he knew where my keys were. Turns out he'd taken them on holiday with him because they have a bottle opener on them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 421

You deserved it 2 193

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 15/11/2010 09:11 - United States

Today, I couldn't get to work because I couldn't find my car keys. It turns out, my mother took them and put them "somewhere safe." She can't remember where they are. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 123

You deserved it 2 544

By Anonymous - 22/12/2012 06:31

Today, due to bad weather, my dad let me take his car to drive to my apartment 3 hours away. I only realized when I got there that my keys were still sitting on my parents' kitchen counter. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 111

You deserved it 11 342

Drunken antics

By DevilsTemptation - 29/08/2019 02:01 - United Kingdom - Dundee

Today, my dad got extremely drunk, so I took away his car keys and left on foot. When I came back, I saw that he had broken down my door. Now my dad is mad at me for not giving him the keys when he was drunk, and I'm door-less. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 777

You deserved it 162

By doneanddone - 28/02/2009 17:33 - United States

Today, I was over at a friend's place until very late. He had stolen my keys as a joke at some point, but by the time I noticed, he was too drunk to remember where he'd hidden them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 779

You deserved it 8 746

Anyone could've waltzed in

By DTMM - 15/09/2023 08:00

Today, I was looking for my condo keys, thinking I had left them in my mailbox on the first floor the night before. Leaving to check, I realized I'd forgot to take them out of my door when I had come in, leaving them in the keyhole. FML

I agree, your life sucks 229

You deserved it 529

By seththing - 22/05/2016 03:49

Today, I locked my keys in my car. I had a spare key in my wallet, that I also left in the car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 110

You deserved it 3 177

By Anonymous - 23/11/2015 20:50 - United States - Winsted

Today, after locking my keys in the car and waiting 3 hours for my mom to bring me my spare, I reached into my bag only to find my keys. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 003

You deserved it 17 912

By rhplb - 17/05/2016 13:10 - Philippines - Quezon City

Today, I arrived to work at exactly 8 so I could leave at exactly 5, without overtime. I found out later that my brother took my keys with him somewhere and now I can't enter the house until he gets back at 11. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 118

You deserved it 900

By Anonymous - 12/07/2012 16:04 - United States - Millers Tavern

Today, I was running late for an important job interview because I couldn't find my keys. I place the keys on my kitchen counter every day to prevent exactly this type of situation. After few minutes and missing my interview, I finally found my keys, in my hand. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 359

You deserved it 32 136

Sinking feeling

By Cheesey_Dorito - 10/09/2018 14:30

Today, I couldn't find the keys to open the store I work at. The resulting stress gave me chest pains that ended up sending me to the hospital. I still missed work and my father found the keys under the passenger seat in his car. The same seat I sat in on the way to the hospital. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 583

You deserved it 526

4everblackjack 10

Saturday 14 April 2012 19:59

Well then, I suggest checking into a very expensive hotel under his name/credit card >:D

2oc 5

Saturday 14 April 2012 19:59

That's just uncanny...

Comments

MDTeddy 13

Sunday 15 April 2012 18:58

Tell him to buy his own ******* bottle opener!

Rednecktified 5

Monday 16 April 2012 1:47

At least you get the day off from work. Actually, you might even get a permanent vacation. Might as well go join your dad.

Lillith_fml 5

Monday 16 April 2012 20:46

ahhh, a fellow Aberdonian in the sea of Americans, how comforting!

1jflyer 1

Tuesday 17 April 2012 6:15

buy yourself and all your buddies drinks at the best pub in town

chicagoIL 4

Friday 29 June 2012 19:56

Why are there so many dumb people in the world?

doglover100 28

Friday 7 March 2014 23:10

He couldn't have taken the bottle opener off the key chain?

Plastic_Stitchez 25

Saturday 22 November 2014 7:28

Couldn't he have just taken the opener?

Keywords

Love Cheating Money Relatable Work Jealousy My ex Accident Health Medication ADHD Snow Weather Miscellaneous Awkward Embarrassing Relationship advice Am I overreacting? Weird Dating AITA Sleep Annoying Parents Mental health Furniture Kids Gross Friends Fight

The Top

Today, I had to quickly back out of a Skype call between me and three coworkers because my fiancée came home from work in tears. When things had calmed down, I re-entered the call to find them unaware I had returned, saying how glad they were I had left because they all secretly despise me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 878

You deserved it 2 095

Today, I've spent nearly three weeks indulging my boyfriend's weird fetish, where he wears a hockey mask and I call him Jason. He just confessed it isn't really a fetish for him and that was just fucking with me. He's already told all his friends. I'm humiliated. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 245

You deserved it 4 765

The Top

Today, I called in sick at work and went to the bar, only to find out that my manager has a second job there. I am now jobless. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 704

You deserved it 8 635

Today, I got a call from my Dad's number. Turns out, a scammer was spoofing him. Also, my dad's been dead since July this year from esophageal cancer. Way to rub it in. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 078

You deserved it 162

Today, I was working at the theater as an Usher. A man comes up to me and gives me his ticket. At the same time, he takes a sip of water and suddenly felt the need to sneeze. The water came out from his nose and landed all over my face. I was covered with his mucus and had to wish him a good movie. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 955

You deserved it 2 674

Today, I got fired on my second day on the job. I'd said that I was the former manager of a Sears that had permanently closed. Thinking they wouldn’t call and verify since it was closed, I put it on my resume. Turns out one of my coworkers used to work there for 10 years and said he never heard of me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 212

You deserved it 2 830

Today, my wife expressed how much she misses going out dancing, so I told her I'd be glad to work on my two left feet with her. She said, "I already tried to teach you" before lamenting the time she's missed out on dancing with the cowboy guys she used to dance with. She's now watching dance videos 10ft away, looking all sad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 936

You deserved it 132

Today, I was supposed to be meeting my daughter's boyfriend, but my wife has locked me in the basement until he leaves, so there’s no chance of me tormenting the boy. Quite wise on her part, I had all kinds of evil ideas, but now I’m locked in here, I’m bored as hell. FML

I agree, your life sucks 312

You deserved it 2 542

Same thing different taste

Drunken antics

Anyone could've waltzed in

Sinking feeling

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