Intimacy: Today, my 14-year-old daughter came home after sneaking out and...

By valnaj1 - 25/12/2012 03:03 - Denmark - Vamdrup

Today, my 14-year-old daughter came home after sneaking out and partying. She was totally drunk, and started crying on my shoulder because some boy named "Thomas" has a small dick, and she had to fake an orgasm. FML

I agree, your life sucks 90 017

You deserved it 27 769

When Christmas Ends Badly…
Rather than debating politics with Uncle Roger for the umpteenth time, share the best Christmas FMLs to finally have a good family meal! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

By anonymous - 04/04/2013 22:52 - United States - Spring Valley

Today, I picked my 12-year-old daughter up from school after her first sexual education lecture. She burst into tears on the way home explaining her fears of being pregnant with her boyfriend's child. As if that doesn't sound bad enough, I've met her boyfriend before. He is imaginary. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 748

You deserved it 4 195

By aprouddaddy - 04/12/2014 23:46 - France - Paris

Today, I was a bit upset to learn that my 13 year-old daughter had a boyfriend. When she noticed, she assured me that I shouldn't worry, because "it's just for sex anyway". FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 835

You deserved it 6 587

Proud Papa moment

By Anonymous - 19/11/2024 19:00 - United Kingdom

Today, my daughter turned up at my house because her boyfriend kicked her out. I rang him and it turns out his love and affection and even the time he spent getting to know her kids wasn’t enough for her, my daughter just had to throw it all away by sucking her coworker's dick in her boyfriend's bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 343

You deserved it 90

Stop

By dad - 03/03/2009 22:28 - United States

Today, I was having sex with my wife when my 14 year-old daughter texted me from her room, "Stop." FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 368

You deserved it 83 172

By don'tdrinkthat - 03/11/2013 22:27 - United States - Quincy

Today, I came home to find my 14-year-old son attempting to get drunk off aftershave. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 267

You deserved it 4 825

By angrymother - 27/07/2016 01:21

Today, I caught my 20 year old daughter having sex with my best friend's husband. Apparently it's my fault for coming home early. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 828

You deserved it 1 736

By idontevencareanymore - 23/05/2014 21:25 - United States - Jarrell

Today, my mom came home drunk and crying, so I tried to comfort her and asked what was wrong. She wasted no time admitting that she'd hooked up with her ex-husband, AKA my dad, but that it'd sucked for her because he has a tiny penis. Thanks, I really needed to know that. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 207

You deserved it 4 705

Gone girl

By OwndPattie - 20/11/2022 02:00

Today, after I grounded my barely 18 year-old daughter for having sex with her boyfriend when I found a pack of condoms in her room while cleaning it, she responded by moving out and eloping with him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 322

You deserved it 3 073

By Anonymous - 30/10/2010 05:07 - New Zealand

Today, my daughter came up to me crying. When I asked her what was wrong, she told me that she had a fight with her imaginary boyfriend. She's 16. I raised this child. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 810

You deserved it 12 124

Teenagers these days

By prostitott - 04/05/2013 07:22

Today, I caught my 14-year-old daughter stealing alcohol from me. After berating her for half-an-hour I finally said, "At least you're not doing drugs." She gave me a guilty smile and sheepishly said, "At least I'm not a prostitute?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 69 516

You deserved it 15 394

Krirn 21

Tuesday 25 December 2012 6:18

Isn't that punishment enough?

ilikebikes7 3

Tuesday 25 December 2012 6:18

Poor Thomas.

Comments

tintaroja 14

Tuesday 25 December 2012 16:56

14 years old and already faking orgasms??? Not a very bright future for her!

gamino 3

Tuesday 25 December 2012 17:12

She's 14 years old...wow great parenting

Bubbe999 7

Saturday 12 January 2013 22:38

As others have said this OP is from Denmark, where there is no legal limit for when you're allowed to drink, only when you can purchase alcohol - at age 16. The drinking culture in Denmark is very special - try to google it. Also, the age for when you can legally have sex is 15, and the average dane loses their virginity at age 16-17. Just because Denmark has other rules and a different culture in some ways, it doesn't mean that it's worse.

jujubunni5 9

Tuesday 25 December 2012 17:45

I would call Thomas and also inform his parents. If he is also 14 they will have some issues. If he's significantly older then your daughter might need more then a smack across the face