Kids: Today, my 3-year-old son said to me, "Fuck a duck, Daddy." I... - FML

By njh - 27/03/2015 13:29 - Ireland

Today, my 3-year-old son said to me, "Fuck a duck, Daddy." I have no idea where he heard this. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 342

You deserved it 3 612

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Same thing different taste

By CiaoBella - 20/06/2016 03:16

Today, my son said his first word, which was, "Fuck". He got it from my great aunt, who my wife was skeptical of our son meeting because she "says too many bad words". Sorry, Honey. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 520

You deserved it 2 764

By Anonymous - 18/04/2014 22:35 - Canada - Concord

Today, my son said his first complete sentence: "Mommy likes shit." Not only will he not stop saying it, I have no idea who taught him to say it in the first place. FML

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You deserved it 4 861

By Anonymous - 01/05/2015 20:41 - United Kingdom - Oundle

Today, in the middle of the supermarket, my 7 year old son asked me what a cocksucker is and why his mum always calls me that. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 384

You deserved it 3 651

In the doghouse

By Anonymous - 14/10/2024 16:00

Today, my toddler started running around the house yelling, "Daddy said a bad word!" over and over again. I don't even know what I allegedly said, but now my wife is giving me the "we need to talk" look. FML

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You deserved it 90

By Anonymous - 31/07/2014 16:24 - United States - Dallas

Today, my son said his first word. Unfortunately, that word was "cock." I've tried convincing myself that he's trying to say "clock" but I just can't do it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 246

You deserved it 7 769

By paparoach - 21/12/2014 07:59 - United States - Kapolei

Today, I was at an outdoors Christmas party and I jokingly complained that my son says 'mama' way more than he says 'dada'. One of my students was at the party and watched him for a couple of hours. He taught him to say 'dada' every time he sees a bug. FML

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You deserved it 4 910

By Anonymous - 17/09/2014 21:57 - United States - Dewitt

Today, my 4 year old son groped my breasts and said, "This is what daddy told me to do." FML

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You deserved it 4 699

Rude boy

By Anonymous - 08/02/2015 19:16

Today, while shopping with my 6-year-old daughter, she said, "Mommy, remember you wanna get duck tape!" A middle-aged guy nearby scoffed and told her, "DUCT, not DUCK. Dumb cunt." I ended up having to drive my bawling daughter home, with no shopping. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 616

You deserved it 3 763

Parroting

By Anonymous - 06/07/2024 00:00 - Australia

Today, my toddler repeated a very inappropriate word I'd said when I'd stubbed my toe. He chose to do this in the middle of a crowded supermarket, loudly, and repeatedly. Now the whole town probably thinks I have questionable parenting skills. FML

I agree, your life sucks 359

You deserved it 208

By poormom - 27/06/2009 04:05 - United States

Today, I told to my son that I'm pregnant. After I'd told him, he looked up and yelled, "Fuck this shit!" and walked out of the room. My son is nine years-old. FML

I agree, your life sucks 70 110

You deserved it 28 918

Next

Top comments

jeff_boles 12

Friday 27 March 2015 19:21

When I was a kid I said **** and duck all the time cause they rhymed and I thought I invented a new word.But maybe your son just likes to curse like a sailor!

amberr_harperr 15

Friday 27 March 2015 19:18

kids. they say the darnedest things

Comments

hegchog12 18

Friday 27 March 2015 22:46

Take his advice

abNormal62 23

Friday 27 March 2015 22:55

Furries.......... They have to start somewhere and at sometime

psychocrystal 8

Friday 27 March 2015 23:00

Maybe he said firetruck and you heard wrong

Shadowvoid 33

Friday 27 March 2015 23:37

Another reason why I don't like anyone other an actual dad being called daddy. I'm not hating on anyone that calls a partner "daddy" but please keep that between you too, it creeps me out. Please, OP, keep your kid away from whatever source taught him that.

DoomedGemini 37

Saturday 28 March 2015 7:13

I really doubt that's how he learned it...

irish_lad 16

Friday 3 April 2015 12:34

In Ireland Daddy is a common way of saying Dad

iRambo 12

Saturday 28 March 2015 0:41

When I was like 3, I called the bucket - fucket.

iRambo 12

Saturday 28 March 2015 9:17

- fucket

Crazion 26

Saturday 28 March 2015 0:49

It was Pewdiepie!

soulreaper12296 28

Saturday 28 March 2015 0:57

That's ok. When I was 2 I told my mom to wipe her ass and get off the toilet. And my Aunt had already taught me how to say 'shit'.

Jenmic 14

Saturday 28 March 2015 0:58

Looks like the Irish start cursing early.

The_Skittish_One 27

Saturday 28 March 2015 1:05

Oh dear! That's one particular curse I have never heard of. And reading through the comments I'm hearing plenty more strange ways to curse XD

Flyndaran 10

Saturday 28 March 2015 2:07

Kids don't listen. I asked him, "How do you have sex with a chicken?"

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Today, I went to my boss with concerns that my manager is dumping her responsibilities on me. He agreed and told me to just do whatever she wants. She gets paid twice as much as me to talk on her cellphone all day. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 679

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Today, I tried one of those AI companion simulators, one that's supposed to simulate what it's like to have a girlfriend. I role-played what it would be like to help her with a problem, then drive her home. After doing so, the AI began to act as if it didn't even know me, and asked me to leave. It's uncanny. FML

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You deserved it 407

Today, the police arrived at my door, telling me my child had been caught vandalizing. A boy who looked about 15 hugged me and said, "Hey, mum." I'm only 26 years-old and had never seen this boy in my life. FML

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Today, I found out I have a new allergy: the sun. My face is so swollen that it has started to bleed to relieve the pressure. Today is also day 6 of the 3-month European trip that I spent all year saving for. FML

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