Miscellaneous: Today, my 43 year old mother came home covered in hickeys. FML - FML

By chickenshit4 - 15/05/2016 00:57 - United States - Pine Ridge

Spicy

Today, my 43 year old mother came home covered in hickeys. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 246

You deserved it 3 085

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 01/07/2013 18:03 - United States - Pleasantville

Today, I saw my girlfriend for the first time in weeks. She had a hickey. FML

I agree, your life sucks 59 438

You deserved it 6 295

By feartheend511 - 19/08/2010 15:48 - United States

Today, while my friends were over, my mom took too many of her pills and walked around the house nude. She then bit me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 160

You deserved it 3 658

By hickhick - 07/07/2019 04:00

Spicy

Today, I went to the doctor's office for a regular check up. They found "odd red marks" on the inside of my thighs. They started to think it might be a skin disease, so I had to explain to my mother and the doctor that it was hickeys from my boyfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 368

You deserved it 1 731

Old dog, new tricks

By Anonymous - 06/09/2009 21:50 - United States

Today, my mom noticed the hickey that I have on my neck. Embarrassed, I tried convincing her that I burnt myself using a hair straightener. She then told me that that's the same excuse she told my grandma when she got a hickey. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 916

You deserved it 47 007

By glittercat - 26/01/2009 23:44 - United States

Spicy

Today, I heard my mom moan in the other room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 264

You deserved it 3 323

By Anonymous - 24/09/2011 04:40 - United States

Today, I received a serious concussion and several stitches to the back of my head. The attacker? My mom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 574

You deserved it 2 947

By ouch - 12/07/2013 07:22 - United States

Today, my mom got drunk and punched me in the nose, then yelled at me for bleeding on the carpet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 61 162

You deserved it 4 761

By FunTimes - 19/08/2019 04:00 - Canada

Today, my mom got drunk and tried to push me off a ladder. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 685

You deserved it 122

By IloveJapan - 02/04/2012 14:02 - Japan

Today, my boyfriend gave me a hickey. On my forehead. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 448

You deserved it 10 162

Naughty girl

By Anonymous - 31/10/2019 14:00 - Canada - Prince George

Today, my mom found out that I got a tattoo two years ago. She got mad and spanked me. I'm 33 years-old. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 002

You deserved it 501

Next

Top comments

feven 32

Sunday 15 May 2016 18:55

Get it mom.

sayhisoph 26

Sunday 15 May 2016 18:50

I boxed off "glad it wasn't me" ... I really regret that. I wish it was me.

Comments

scyth3s 13

Sunday 15 May 2016 20:58

Get over your shit. Parents are sexual beings. you'll have a right to complain when she has sex in your room.

ssnow_fml 20

Sunday 15 May 2016 22:40

Your mom's got game.

PortugueseFool 15

Sunday 15 May 2016 22:42

Been there. At the time I was to young to know what it was but looking back at it...

TheShiphoo 14

Sunday 15 May 2016 22:42

shiiet I shouldn't have Google'd that.

josiemorehouse 12

Monday 16 May 2016 0:10

Way to go Mom!!! :) Hey, if she's single or in a relationship, be glad she's happy.

Lordosa 9

Monday 16 May 2016 0:41

What's wrong with that.... We are all human and even your mum is entitled to some fun..

TacoCat15 10

Monday 16 May 2016 1:31

Suck it up

AmericanBadAss 21

Monday 16 May 2016 1:36

Get over yourself. I'm 58 years old, single and very active. Personally, I think your mom is too young for me but as long as she's not cheating on anyone, she's allowed to have a life. If we're lucky, we all get older but there is no limit to how old is "too old" to enjoy sex. Be happy for mom. She found someone she likes.

born_hustla 26

Monday 16 May 2016 4:08

Heyyyy yooooo!!! Go mom!

Shalnar 6

Monday 16 May 2016 4:13

Good for her.

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The Top

Today, my girlfriend was on top in reverse cowgirl. After she orgasmed, all I heard was, "Oh fuck" and she clenched her butt to try stop, but it was too late, she shot diarrhoea up my stomach, chest and neck. The only reason I didn’t get any in my mouth was because it all got caught in my beard. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 068

You deserved it 410

Today, I told my boyfriend of nearly a year that I finally told my mother about him, and that she wants us to fly out so he can meet her. He said “OK” with a blank expression. I went to work, and when I got home, he and all his stuff were gone. He left a note on the fridge, saying, “Sorry, I can’t do this anymore. All the best.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 589

You deserved it 131

The Top

Today, out of the blue, my husband suggested to his parents that they move to our town for the next six months, with the understanding that we’d see them nearly every day. I found out about this when they starting making plans. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 948

You deserved it 167

Today, my girlfriend of two years took offense to a "That's what she said joke", and blew up, saying she doesn't like those jokes. She thinks that she is the "She" of the jokes every time I guess. I tried explaining how the jokes work, but she wouldn't believe me. She says that I'm just lying. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 118

You deserved it 409

Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend. He knows that I love when he breathes on my neck. Just when I was about to finish, he put his lips a millimeter away from my neck and ear, and breathed, "I love how you smell like my grandmother's house." FML

I agree, your life sucks 111 770

You deserved it 9 766

Today, I broke up with my boyfriend of almost 4 months. He was always worried I would cheat on him, so he cheated on me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 468

You deserved it 1 067

Today, after being sick all day with the flu, I asked my husband to wash the dishes after I went to bed. He said he couldn't because he had a large, important project for work that needed to get done. I woke up a couple of hours later to find him smoking weed on the couch and watching cartoons. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 810

You deserved it 2 418

Today, my boyfriend murmured his sister's name during sex. Before you say he was thinking of someone else with the same name, I've only ever met one person in our town called Nohemi. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 375

You deserved it 2 401