Kids: Today, my 5 year old nephew showed me green martians he'd made...

By offbeans - 17/02/2009 02:29 - United States

Today, my 5 year old nephew showed me green martians he'd made with his new Play Doh set. I smiled and said, "Wow! Now, how about some blue martians!" He looked at me and replied, "How about some blue shut the fuck up?!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 267 502

You deserved it 90 897

Thanksgiving: Turkeys and Skids
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Same thing different taste

Sorry dude

By EatYourGreens - 21/08/2021 06:01 - Australia - Augustine Heights

Today, my four year-old very loudly asked me if the little person she saw at the shops was like that because he didn't eat his vegetables. He definitely heard. FML

I agree, your life sucks 865

You deserved it 149

By Anonymous - 24/11/2012 13:59 - United States

Today, I was playing with my four year-old cousin. He had a toy whale and said, "Shark!" I corrected him and told him it was a whale. He picked it up, threw it at my face, and yelled, "SHAAARK!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 470

You deserved it 7 855

By smashed - 24/09/2012 14:33 - United States

Today, I bought my nephew some giant green Incredible Hulk fists for his birthday. He thanked me by Hulk-smashing me in the nuts. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 005

You deserved it 6 401

By vballqt201 - 21/06/2009 16:03 - United States

Today, I was asking my one year old nephew what noises certain animals make. I decided to trick him and ask him what sound I make. He immediately says, "MOOOO". FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 391

You deserved it 17 285

By UngratefulBrat - 28/12/2012 07:03 - United States - New York

Today, my 6-year-old nephew opened his Christmas gift. The first words out of his mouth were, "This is cheap." FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 664

You deserved it 6 842

By WickedRene - 02/08/2014 01:57 - United States - Rochester

Today, I was watching my 3 year old brother. He asked me to get him a cookie and I said, "What's the magic word?" He looked at me angrily and said "Bitch, please." FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 941

You deserved it 8 226

By blah blah daddy - 02/10/2010 23:08 - United States

Today, I picked up my four year old son from daycare. As I was putting him in his car seat, I asked him if he had fun. He yelled, "Shut it, bitch!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 425

You deserved it 10 379

By AuntPeePee - 20/05/2013 11:57 - United States

Today, I berated my five-year-old nephew for peeing on the floor. His mom bitched me out for expecting "a little boy to have perfect aim." That's funny, it looked pretty good when he dropped his pants, looked me in the eyes, and started to piss on my rug. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 459

You deserved it 3 563

By parentfail - 11/12/2010 14:44 - United Kingdom

Today, without even trying, I convinced my 17-year-old daughter that blueberries are just peas holding their breath. I have raised a complete airhead. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 478

You deserved it 70 761

Close quarters

By aunty_social - This FML is from back in 2018 but it's good stuff

Today, I took my 5-year-old nephew camping. I was about to take him to the outhouse for a bathroom break when he flung the door of the camper open and shouted at the top of his lungs to the entire campground, "We are going to poop now!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 630

You deserved it 460

sharsharbinks 0

Tuesday 17 February 2009 10:41

I love this one! I laughed so hard!

killer_corn 0

Tuesday 17 February 2009 11:09

I don't take crap from kids. I would of destroyed the Green ones.

Comments

popoman 0

Friday 24 July 2009 22:17

Don't rape. Eat grapes. Grapes are purple...sometimes. Martians are from Mars. Purple drink does not mean grape. It could be pee.

dan11 0

Tuesday 28 July 2009 5:39

LMFAO!!!! thats definatly like top ten all time on the site haha i almost shitted myself reading this!!!!!

love21_fml 0

Monday 10 August 2009 9:12

Lmfao Best fml ever!!

jr5480 0

Monday 10 August 2009 11:43

Hes is racist toward aliens someone should tell him that the racism is wrong and to treat equally

whyme_ss 0

Monday 10 August 2009 22:02

HAHAHAHHAAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHA one of the best fml's everrrrrrrrr haaaaa

mintilicious 0

Saturday 15 August 2009 2:34

Hahaha great kid. Blue martians really are ridiculous though.

rayniee 0

Monday 17 August 2009 0:16

lmfao! this is the funniest FML ever! I laughed at this for like 5 minutes! haaaa ;D

btchh 0

Tuesday 25 August 2009 20:11

i agree w. you this is like the funniest one ever!! :D

yankfan2426 3

Thursday 27 August 2009 1:46

this FML gets funnier ever time i read it HAHAAHAHHAAHHHAHAHAHHA

doubleAbattery 0

Saturday 29 August 2009 22:53

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I can't remember the last time I've laughed this hard at and FML!